As I march through Doctor Kelman’s labs, I mentally prepare how I want to approach this rather arduous subject. The Advocates working in the labs step aside so I can make my way through without disturbing their process too much. Reaching for the door, I pause, my hand lingering over the handle when a hesitance creeps up on me.

Why is it that the approaching conversation fills my entire being with dread ?

My tail swishes a few times with a hint of unease as I finally open the door, mustering a professional demeanour as I enter the room and the faint tunes of a gramophone play in the background. There, at his desk, an overly cheerful old man sits and reads a book- my book, ‘Smile, Always.’ He’s pale, short and stocky with balding grey hair and round glasses, donning a black suit and striped tie. A stethoscope rests around his neck in a perfect manner; despite its debatable purpose in his position, it’s as if he wears it as a sign of importance . The placard standing beside his small lamp reads Doctor Alexander Kelman: Chief of Medicine. When I enter the room, he perks up, adjusting his glasses as he smiles in my direction with a smile so wide that it becomes uncanny the longer you look.

“Ah, Miles! It’s always a pleasure to see you. How is marmalisation going?” He gestures for me to have a seat in front of his desk, though I decline and nervously shift my weight to my left foot.

“Well… For all other patients, marmalisation has gone as normal. However, I have a case that’s proven to be… quite troublesome.”

“Oh my… What seems to be the issue?” He questions, taking 693’s file as I slide it onto his desk.

“We have put them through three trials of Inoculation and one in the Flasher; the patient experienced a severely adverse reaction to both.”

Doctor Kelman nods in acknowledgement as he skims through the patient’s file, reading all the written information and notes.

“How peculiar… I haven’t seen anything like this in years- Especially not of this severity.” His smile falters slightly as he lowers the file. “What is her status now?”

“Patient 693 is back in their initial room with a saline IV to account for the fluids they lost from vomiting and blood loss. They also have not eaten much since they were admitted.”

“…I see. And I presume you’re overseeing the case now?”

“Yes, sir. I stepped in yesterday when the third Inoculation trial put the patient into a severe state of distress.”

“It’s noted here on the file that the patient has shown major resistance to treatment. It’s also in the records here that you scheduled a session in the Flasher room- to gain her compliance through disorientation, I presume?”

“Indeed. I followed the standard protocol for incompliance, Doctor.” Before continuing, I take a shallow breath. “I’ve come to discuss this with you in seek of guidance and second opinions. There are a few ideas I have in mind, but I’d like to know… How do you think we should proceed with the patient?”

Doctor Kelman thinks to himself for a moment, flipping through the different documents in the patient’s file and scanning through each one. He looks up at me, that eerie grin returning to his face.

“What do you suppose the issue is?”

“Well… Initially, I thought their resistance and mental barriers were a sign that they didn’t want joy- but after these trials… I’m not entirely sure if that is the case.”

“Schedule her for a session in the Giggler room. I believe it’s worth another shot. I’m sure that after her little incident with the Flasher, we can get through to her easier.” He says, adjusting his glasses. Tension builds up in my shoulders as my expression shifts.

Is he being serious…?

“…Permission to speak, Doctor Kelman?”

“Granted.”

“I… Don’t believe that it is in the patient’s best interest to go through with a session in The Giggler room.”

“Are you doubting my expertise, Miles?”

“N-No- Of course not, sir, it’s just…” I pause, clearing my throat and drumming my claws against my thigh. “All that our treatment has done is make 693 feel miserable, and if I’m being quite honest… I believe that it would be best to hold off on treatment until they get better, and maybe even put discharge into consideration–”

“The Ministry’s laughing gas is one of the strongest forms of treatment here. If that doesn’t work, it’s evident that this truly is an immunity case- the second of its kind.”

“But isn’t their suffering enough evidence, Doctor–?”

“You see yourself in this patient, don’t you? ”

I wince at his words, pushing down that strange aching feeling again.

“…No sir.”

“There’s no need to get attached, Miles… No need to worry… She’ll be joyful in no time. Our treatment isn’t called the best for nothing, you know. You were there to help build The Sanctuary from the ground up- I know you’re better than this- Better than you were before. You, Miles, are happier, stronger… a being of true joy because of what I’ve done for you.”

“Maybe I am, but… 693 isn’t. They aren’t joyful right now, nor will they be if we continue doing this to them–”

“Miles.” His tone becomes stern as his eyes squint slightly in annoyance. He once again adjusts his glasses before clearing his throat and speaking up. “As your superior, I suggest you listen to my expertise… I have studied medicine for years and my team manages all doses in the lab; they know what they’re doing. If you do not schedule a session for her, I will.”

“I… understand, sir.” I mutter in defeat, digging my claws into my palms. “When should the session be scheduled?”

“Give her a day to rest. Schedule a session with Doctor Taylor either tomorrow evening or the morning after- and alert the Main Five that we have a potential immunity case on our hands.”

“…Of course, sir. I’ll get everything prepared immediately.”

“Good.” He hums with a smile, as I reach for the door handle. “Miles?” 

“Yes, sir?” My tail flicks against the floor in irritation as I turn my head in his direction.

“I knew I could count on you.”

That ache within me returns at his statement, a quiet sigh escaping my lips as I push the feeling down again to respond.

“…Thank you, Doctor Kelman. I won’t let you down.”

The door shuts behind me as I leave through the labs and out to the hallways, which are not as busy as yesterday. Before long, I’m greeted by my disorganised desk when I open the doors to my office, the 12 monitors on the wall each glowing with a display of different CCTV footage. I try to regain my composure as I slump into my chair, that strange feeling consuming me while worries plague my mind. My gaze drifts to the patient’s file; ‘self-mutilation’ and ‘manic episodes’ sticking out to me and causing me to subconsciously drum my claws against the desk.

We’re only making things worse…

The conversation with Doctor Kelman replays in my head. 

“There’s no need to get attached, Miles.”

Why does that irk me so much? It’s against Ministry protocol to get attached to patients, I know this already- so why care now?

I find myself flicking through the monitors, a feeling of… relief overriding everything clouding my mind when I spot that familiar choppy blue hair in the camera. On the monitor, 693 is resting in bed, their right arm sticking out of the covers. Luckily, they have yet to rip out the IV, and from what little I can see in the cameras, they seem to be regaining colour in their face.

Good… Looks like they’re getting better.

My expression softens as I stare at the patient through the monitor. It’s certainly relieving to see that they’re recovering from the previous attempts at marmalisation.

…Right. I almost forgot; the others need a heads up about the immunity case.

I sigh and turn my attention away from the monitor, moving some papers aside to grab my walkie-talkie.

“Requesting Doctor Holden, Doctor White, Doctor Taylor, Doctor Allan, and Doctor Adams to my office immediately. It’s urgent.” The small device crackles and gives a little beep as my message goes through.

…

In just a few quick minutes, the Main Five file into my office, each one of them taking a standing position in front of my desk. Eyeing the monitor, I shake off that achy feeling to confront my employees in a more professional manner.

“Thank you all for gathering here upon such short notice. You all know I don’t enjoy these meetings, so I’ll try to make it quick. Save your questions for the end.”

“Is this about the… stubborn patient?” Blythe mutters while staring at the wall. It doesn’t surprise me that they asked a question anyway; Blythe seems to always be in their own little world.

“…I see you’ve all been talking.” I grumble in annoyance. “But yes, it’s about Patient 693. The reason I’ve brought you all here is to give you notice that we may have an immunity case on our hands.”

As I say this, I capture the attention of all 5 of my employees- even Blythe .

“You’re serious, boss?” Trisha questions, her eyes wide in disbelief as she rests her goggles on her head. “There’s only been one immunity case ever-!” She eagerly rests an arm over Daniel’s shoulder, her grin widening.

“I still think she’s just stubborn.” Daniel mumbles, swatting Trisha’s hand off of him like he would a pesky bug.

“As did I… However, after three failed trials of Inoculation and a rather troublesome session in the Flasher room, it’s become evident that Patient 693 is very likely to be an immunity case.”

“Like Trisha said, there’s only been one Immunity case…” Mary giggles, putting a finger to her chin. “How can you be so sure that 693 is immune and not just stubborn like Daniel thinks?”

“Doctor Taylor, I was there to witness the only immunity case. I know the symptoms when I see them.” I mutter, my tail swishing in annoyance again as my employees begin to chatter amongst themselves.

“Let’s say that the patient is immune… What’s your plan, boss…?” Henry chimes in, breaking up the chatter and redirecting the group back to the conversation. The others look at me expectantly as I prepare a response, which is… difficult for some reason.

That aching feeling returns.

“…After consulting with Doctor Kelman, we’ve come to the decision that we will proceed with marmalisation. Doctor Taylor, you’re up next. Can you fit 693 into your schedule…?” My voice trails as I look at the monitor with hesitance. “…Preferably tomorrow evening at the earliest . They need time to recover.”

Mary perks up and nods, laughing to herself in that frightening manner as she usually does.

“Hehehee~ Of course, boss. I can shift some things around for this… grand opportunity…” She giggles again, clapping her hands together in excitement.

“As for the rest of you…” I glance back up at them, my expression shifting into one as serious as possible with my permanent smile. “No one is to give Patient 693 treatment without getting direct authorisation from me. Am I clear?”

The five of them nod in acknowledgement before murmuring amongst themselves.

“Do you have any questions before I let you go?”

Blythe hums to themself as they sway from side to side, before being broken out of their trance by a light punch in the shoulder from Trisha.

“Hm-? Oh-” They shake their head and blink a few times before looking at me with a blank expression. “When you say… direct authorisation… does that include over walkie-talkie, or only in-person?”

“Don’t be a muppet, Blythe- The boss has always given us verbal confirmation both ways.” Daniel interjects harshly, crossing his arms.

“While that would be correct normally , Doctor Holden,” I sigh. “I would prefer that you all request authorisation in person. This case will remain between us . There are to be no details shared amongst your teams- and if I hear otherwise, there will be serious consequences. Am I clear?”

They nod in acknowledgement before filing out of my office at my dismissal. As they all leave to return to their respective sectors, one of my employees stays behind: Henry Allan, the Head of Hypnosis. Henry has always been the most loyal (and mentally sound) of the Main Five; after all, he was the first of the five test subjects. He pushes aside a few of his curls before cautiously approaching me, his hands behind his back as if to appear non threatening.

“Is there something you need, Henry?”

“Boss… You look troubled.”

“What-? No… I’m not.” I grumble, crossing my arms and raising an eyebrow. “What makes you think that…?”

“You’re tense, and the fur on the back of your neck is standing up. What’s the matter?” He responds with his soothing voice, crossing his own arms and looking intently at me. My hand instinctively reaches to hide the back of my neck with anxiety. 

Goddamnit, Henry. I should’ve known you would read me like a book.

“Hgh… It’s nothing.”

“Cmon, boss, you can talk to me, you know… We can work through whatever is bothering you–”

“Nothing is bothering me-!” I snap, slamming my fists on the desks as my tail swishes in frustration. Henry remains unfazed by my behaviour and continues with a gentle tone.

“Boss…” His expression softens as he puts a hand on mine. “Talk to me. Are you stressing about the immunity case…?”

“Of course I am–!” My claws catch on the top of my desk and I shudder, pulling my hand away in discomfort. I take a moment to calm myself before speaking up again. “…I apologise.” Henry shakes his head in response, a soft chuckle escaping him.

“I understand why that would be stressful… But I’m sure a solution will come up; we’ll keep working at it until we have success.”

“That’s the problem…” I mumble, slumping back into my chair and burying my face in my claws. “I don’t think we should keep working at it…”

“Why is that, boss?” He tilts his head curiously.

“I just… I can’t shake this feeling that something is bound to go terribly wrong…”

Henry nods, listening intently before approaching my desk and pulling my hands away from my face.

“How about we head back to my office for a little spa day, yeah? You’ve had a lot on your plate lately and you could really use some time to relax.” He gives a soft smile, a kind expression in his eyes.

“But… I have work to do…” I grumble.

“Ah ah ah, you need to relax, boss…” He coaxes, gently tugging on my arm. “I’ll let you bring your nice soft robe…”  

After a moment of muttering to myself with crossed arms, I sigh, standing up and balancing my weight on one foot. My tail swishes in annoyance- Henry has won me over.

“…Fine. But I’m not talking about this case anymore.”