The alarm rings with grace as birds chirp with the beautiful melodies of nature.

Desperately trying not to wake Julia, my body shifts.

My alarm clock always goes off at least an hour early, and my body is still adjusting to the night shift.

Julia is fast asleep. I'm surprised that she didn’t wake from the birds chirping.

"Oh, you're awake," Jenna pauses, her gaze now lifting from her book. "Where's Julia?" "She's in Wonderland, fast asleep on my bed."  Jenna shuts her books, her hand resting on its case." Aw, that's cute; she's like a daughter to me."

"So what is she to you?" My heart stops, and my eyes widen. "Uhm... I-I. I'm not. Fuck," my face turns red, as my heart beats against my ribs.

"Gotta go. Bye, love you."

An apple and my jacket are everything I need right now.

"Hey?!, cliffhangers suck!" she exclaims behind me, her tone sarcastic as ever.After all, she was right. What is Julia to me? my hand's grip grows tighter against my wheel. Questions couldn't be dodged forever. thoughts swirl in my mind, manifesting into louder voices. Everyone's talking, but I can't hear their voices.

"AAH, FUCK STOP!" my hands slam against the steering wheel. My breath grows shallow. The drive now feels like an eternity. I'm parking the car, making sure everything's on me. A worker dressed in an ordinary office outfit leaves the building.

He strolls over to me, his car keys firmly in his hands."You're the new security guard?" he's unpredictable, and his intentions perplex me. "Yeah, just start-" Before I could react, he was already on his way.

"Weird." I mutter to myself after turning around to start my shift. "Have fun," and then the receptionist just leaves. Staring at cameras and going for the occasional routine walk now feels normal. Suddenly, the phone rings after an hour on shift. I pick it up and answer the call. The dial tone cut the silence.

The expression of perplexity is written on me like an open book, I'm beyond confused.

"Okay, that's a bit strange." Time for the patrol. I'll never get over the dark hallways. It takes me thirty minutes to check each floor thoroughly. But each room remains in its original state. 

"That was the last room. Time to head back." 

As I'm switching cameras and watching the stationary ones, nothing's happening.

 I find myself in the office department of the building, on the fourth floor where the office floors and departments are. I have no permission for the executive office floor, and the basement is off-limits. After shutting off the remaining computers, my attention was drawn to a half-empty coffee mug sitting on an office table, steam still rising from it. The impossibility of it all clung to me like a second skin; my stomach turns, and a lump in my throat begins to form. my fists clench as my breath grows shallow and shaky. my feet retrace their steps, I stumble into a printer.

My heart jolts as the printer behind me shatters the silence. I snatch the printed paper off the output tray, but the letters written upon it are scrambled. The folded document now rests in pants pockets. The silence is piercing, and only the clock-shifting hands are audible. When I was a child, my mind would create vivid mental pictures of entities inhabiting the shadows. 

The car accident traumatized me as a 10-year-old. nine years later, and life takes me here. I remain in the darkness, trying to decipher the letters. My tries stay in vain, and exhaustion creeps toward me. five and a half hours, then I'm on my way home. the burden is lifted from my shoulders as soon as I exit the room. I'd much rather be in the cozy confines of the coffee shop in my hometown. anywhere else, just not here. 

Wandering through the halls of the building makes my spine tingle, but I still have the 2nd floor and ground floor. The elevator's walls seem to press on me. My gaze is locked on the display of the floors.

As I'm walking through the halls and offices of the 2nd floor, I realize there is nothing out of the ordinary. Before I know it, I'm already on the beloved ground floor. I'm honest, I didn't pay any attention to small details of the ground floors offices, everything is in its place of origin and no'ones here. Time passes quickly, and now it's 5:55 am

 The tension releases the moment I enter the office's confines. The cold of the outside world bites into my face once I leave the building, but the soft fur lining against my neck shields me from freezing. I survey the gravel roads. My eyes move rapidly across the ocean of trees whilst I'm driving in an attempt to locate any deer jumping across it.

my fingernails anxiously tap against the steering wheel, and my foot is poised to press the brakes. My phone rings abruptly, my breath hitching as I see the name. 

"Hey, Ethan..." I used to love her voice, but now it's tainted by the destruction she left behind.

"What do you want?" could a voice once so soothing to drown in it, deserve forgiveness?

My phone rings abruptly, my breath hitching as I see the name. "Hey, Ethan..." I used to love her voice, but now it's tainted by the destruction she left behind.

"What do you want?" could a voice once so soothing deserve forgiveness? we'd fight and reconnect after days passed. until the knife we both held was too painful to hold.

"You left some of your stuff at my place; come pick it up when you can." I cough, my voice now jittery from the coldness.

"Fine, don't know when, but I'll swing by and get my stuff." 

"Hey, Ethan..." I used to love her voice, but now it's tainted by the destruction she left behind.

"What do you want?" could a voice once so soothing deserve forgiveness?

we'd fight and reconnect after days passed. until the knife we both held was too painful to hold.

"You left some of your stuff at my place; come pick it up when you can." I cough, my voice now jittery from the coldness.

"Fine, don't know when. But I'll swing by and get my stuff." My heart ached, at

we'd fight until the knife we held cut into our flesh. and reconnect after days have passed. "You left some of your stuff at my place. Come pick it up when you can." "Fine. I'll swing by and get my stuff. What about now?"

"You're kidding, right?"Caitlyn's voice is laced with exhaustion. " It's six-oh-five, Ethan. You're coming over?."Yup, see you later." The brief hum of a coffee machine fills the silence."Bye," the radio's music overshadows the crunch of gravel beneath my tires. 

My grip around the steering wheel once more tightens, and the knuckles turn white. I don't wanna do this- not ever- I don't wanna see her. but once I'm done, I'll be out of there. I've driven for minutes, and  I've finally arrived. I ring the bell. The sluggish steps make their way over. The metal clinks as the lock of the door is disengaged. Caitlyn stands before me, her right hand resting on the door frame.

"Where'd you leave it?" My mouth curves into a frown. "In the living room, it's all there." 

"Great, thanks."

I walk past her, my backpack firmly in my hands. The apartment still seems similar. What I once called home is now just the remnants of who I once believed myself to be. "What the fuck, Caitlyn? Where's my stuff?" I demand, my voice now unmistakably irritated.

"I'm sorry, Ethan." Perhaps confronting our problems would help us make amends. I glance down at the floor, my fingers fidgeting restlessly.

Here it is, the confrontation we needed. She looks different, but not different enough. Perhaps the years have softened her; however, they have never and will never erase the memories, the nameless errors, and the continued silence between the two of us.

I sink into the couch, the cushions mold comfortably around me, warming me as if they were in an embrace as I lean back.

My body stiffens, arms crossed. I force my arms to stay even. "So this is how it ends, huh? Years after and I still don't get a damn apology."Caitlyn's gaze is forced onto the ground. "Ethan... What do you want me to say?"I scoff. "I don't know. Maybe start with the truth?"Her fingers twitch- just for a second-I- I catch it; she's hesitating, just long enough for my stomach to tighten."It wasn't like that."

I laugh, but there's no humor left. "Not like what?" Now, she finally looks up, holding her hands tightly. There's something in her eyes- guilt? regret?" I wasn't myself that night," she scoffs. My jaw's clenching. "That's convenient."

A slow breath leaves her lips, She shifts her weight whilst rubbing the back of her neck.

"I was drunk, Ethan." My fingers dig into my arms. There it is, a pathetic excuse wrapped in a confession. My chest tightens as it burns with something I can't name anymore- sadness, anger, or maybe something worse. "Drunk?"

I shake my head and let out a breath of my own.

"Yeah, bet it was easy to forget about me." Her eyes widen and drop.

"I didn't forget about you," a bitter laugh escapes my lips." Yeah, sure, when you woke up. Did you even think of me?"

Silence fills the room, and her lips lift. but the words remain buried within her mind.

"What will it take for you to forgive me?" she whispered, her hands covering her face.

Subconsciously, I raised myself from the couch.

"You chased me down a rabbit hole I can't escape from." My voice is stern, tainted by the hurt and betrayal I once swore to bury.

"I'm Sorry- I fucked up." We'd break bottles of wine, throw books, and slam doors.

I roll my eyes and exhale sharply.

"Yeah you sure as hell fucked up," I scoff, the wall pressing against my back."my life"

Every corner and part of this apartment is haunted by the past.

We'd scream at each other for hours on end, then apologize afterward. We'd break bottles of wine, throw books, and slam doors.

"Fuck this. I'm leaving." She stands up, blocking the way. "Please, let me go." 

"No, you can't leave. Not like this."  I shake her off, but the sensation of her fingers remains on my arm. "Don't-fucking touch me."

Her voice slices into the silence. I halt, my hand resting on the handle, not turning around. "You don't understand. Not now," I state, my voice stern. I slam the door behind me, ready to go home.