“Wala pa ako’ng sinasabi...” [I haven’t said anything yet]

“Wala ‘pa’, meaning, balak mo in the future?” [‘yet’, meaning, you plan to do so in the future?]

That made him shut up.

It seems I have outwitted him.

“Haay...” he sighed in resignation. “Sige, kung mapilit ka, bahala ka’ng gawin kung anong gusto mo, kahit tingin ko, wala ka namang matututunan sa `kin.” [okay then, if you insist, then go do what you want, though I doubt if there’s anything you can learn from me.] He started to sip his coffee again. “Basta’t `wag ka lang makiki-elam sa mga ginagawa ko.” [just don’t bother me when I’m working.]

“Kung ganoon tinatanggap mo na ako?” [does that mean you accept me now?]

Finally! I gave him my most radiant smile.

He seems to flinch.

“`Wag po kayo mag-alala po, hindi po kayo magsisisi, alam ko po balang araw matututunan n’yo rin na mahalin ako.” [don’t worry, you won’t regret this, I know someday, you will learn to admire me as well.]

He spits the coffee.

How disgusting.

Good thing it didn’t stain my white coat and slacks, as well as my white designer shoes from Paris.

“Maayos lang ba kayo po professor?” [are you okay, professor?] I asked him. “`Wag po kayo mag-alala, basta nasa tabi n’yo lang ako palagi napaka saya ko na po.” [there’s no need to worry, I’m well content as long as I can study next to you.]

The laughter seemed to multiply as I look around and saw more researchers surrounding us.

“Sir, sagutin n’yo na!” [Sir, just say ‘i do’!] said the girl beside assistant Pedro.

“Oo nga, sir, eto na ang prinsipe n’yo, mukhang naghihintay sa labas ang puti n'yang kabayo!” [that’s right, sir, it’s your prince charming, his white horse is probably waiting outside for you!] said another assistant.

“If you mean my Ferrari, it is color black.”

They start to laugh again.

“Sige, sinasagot na kita!” [okay, I accept you, then!] Prof. Antonio said with a grin.

He stood up, walked up to me, and placed a hand, an inch above my left shoulder where he kept it hovering.

“Mula ngayon, ikaw na ang Habibi ko!” [from this day forth, you shall be my beloved!]

“Why Habibi?” I asked him, frowning. I can tell that he was making fun of me again.

“Hindi ba’t sabi mo mahal mo `ko?” [didn’t you say that you ‘admire’ me?] he grinned, “And since ikaw ang kauna-unahan, at malamang, ang nag-iisang taong magsasabi n’yan sa `kin, ay pumapayag na ako’ng maging s’yota mo.” [and since you’re the first, and most probably, the only person who would say that to me, then I accept your proposal to be your lover.]

S’yota? [lover?]

What does that word mean?

Perhaps it is a Filipino slang for teacher?

“Thank you, Prof. Antonio, I assure you po, you will not regret this.”

“And since sinabi mo rin na gusto mong lagi ako’ng makatabi,” [and since you also said that you want to always stay beside me,] he continued with a big grin on his face, “ay ikaw na ang gagawin ko’ng personal assistant. Kailangan mo’ng sumunod sa `kin 24/7 at gawin ang lahat ng iuutos ko. Mula ngayong oras na ito.” [I’ll assign you as my personal assistant. You need to follow me 24/7 and do everything I tell you to do. From this day forth.]

The room fell silent.

The laughter and snide remarks all came to a halt as he kept his hand floating over my shoulder.

“I accept your challenge,” I replied.

This is probably a test, a right of passage before he decides to take me in as his protege.

“Tumagal kaya s’ya?” [would he be able to last?] I heard someone whisper.

“`Di ba, naospital ang huling personal assistant si Sir Eric dahil sa sobrang stress at pagod?” [wasn’t sir Eric’s last personal assistant hospitalized due to stress?]

“At nag-mental breakdown naman ang nauna doon dahil sa mga demands n’ya...” [and the one before that had a mental breakdown due to his absurd demands]

“Tapos `yung isa, hindi na nagpakita matapos n’yang utusan nang ilang ulit pamunta kung saan-saan!” [and there was one who just disappeared after he kept sending him all over the place!]

“Oy, break time na ba? Ba’t ang daming bubuyog na bubulong-bulong sa paligod?!” [Oy, is it break time already? Why do I keep hearing bees buzzing all around me?] Prof. Antonio told the crowd who quickly dispersed.

“Ano, handa ka na ba’ng sumunod, Habibi?” [so, are you ready to obey me, Habibi?]

“Opo,” [yes sir] I replied. “Ano po ang unang gagawin natin? Saan ang laboratoryo?” [what do we do first? Where’s the laboratory?]

“Bigyan muna kita ng ground rules, ha?” [let me give you the ground rules first] he stifled another laugh. “Una, `wag mo na `ko po-in at nakakapika. Mas maganda, `wag ka na rin mag-tagalog at ako ang nahihirapan sa `yo.” [first, don’t use ‘po’ on me since it’s irritating. Better yet, stop talking in tagalog since I’m the one who’s having a hard time tryin to understand you.]

“Affirmative.”

“Pangalawa, bilang personal assistant, ikaw ang magiging secretarya ko, slash-runner, slash-alalay, slash-utusan, slash-buhusan ng init ng ulo, slash-tagatimpla ng kape..." [second, as my personal assistant, you shall be my secretary, slash-runner, slash-butler, slash-slave, slash-punching bag, slash-coffee maker...

“On it.”

I went to the pantry table and placed some ground coffee in the coffee maker.

“Oy, sandali, alam mo ba ang timpla ko?” [oy, hold on, do you knew my blend?] he asked.

“Two parts liberica to one part arabica, and a dash of lilac sugar.”

“Pano mo nalaman?” [how did you know?] he asked with a frown.

“I have a keen sense of smell.”

“Ganon ba?” [is that so?]

“Yes. It can be very useful in my line of work since...”

I suddenly stiffen as a pungent aroma filled the air.

“Ugh... did you just... pass gas?”

“`Pag nahulaan mo kinain ko kagabi, bibigyan kita ng bonus points.” [I’ll give you bonus points if you can guess what I ate last night.]

“Something rich in sulfur... broccoli?”

It was fun seeing the grin in his face disappear.

“Woah, seryoso nga ang ilong mo!” [woah, that nose of yours is no joke!] He seemed to see me in a new light now. “Dahil d’yan, bibigyan kita ng bonus.” [because of that, I will give you a bonus.]

He took a post it from his coat pocket and wrote something on it, then, he came closer and stuck it on my forehead.

It seems to be a phone number.

“Karinderia `yan ni Aling Tinay. Gusto ko ng kare-kare.” [That’s Madam Tinay’s Cafeteria. I want some kare-kare]

[kare-kare is a Filipino stew in thick peanut sauce, partnered with a fermented fish or shrimp paste condiment called bagoong]

“Huh? What about the bonus you just mentioned?”

“Umorder ka na rin ng gusto mo,” [order what you want,] he replied. “Pasalamat ka ililibre kita.” [be thankful that I’m treating you.]

He then took the cup of coffee I just made and patted the air on top of my shoulder again.

Well, I guess a lot of people have a thing about touching others.

“Sige, tawagan mo na `yan at gutom na `ko. Masarap ang nilaga nila, try mo.” [now, call the number, I’m hungry. Their nilaga is good, you should try it.] He then turned around and started to walk away.

[nilaga is beef or pork stewed in clear broth]

“Where are you going?”

“May tinatapos pa akong reaction...” [I’m still working on a reaction]

“Oh, an experiment? May I observe your procedures?”

“Hintayin mo ang delivery sa lobby at bawal silang umakyat dito.” [wait for the food at the lobby. The delivery personnel isn’t allowed up here.]

“Huh?”

“Pedro!”

“Sir?” assistant Pedro appeared out of thin air.

“Pakisamahan `tong Habibi ko para masanay sa pasikot-sikot sa trabaho.” [accompany Habibi to get him used to the ins and outs of his job]

“Yes, sir!”

“Wait a minute, Prof. Antonio, I would prefer to watch you conduct an experiment...”

“Matapos ko’ng kumain,” [after I eat] he replied, “sa ngayon, gutom ako, pa'no `ko makakapag-isip nang diretso?”[I’m hungry, how do you expect me to think straight?]

“But...”

“Sige na, Pedro, go. Shoo! Shoo! Isama mo na si Habibi!” [Go on, Pedgo. Shoo! Take Habibi with you!]

“I am not your Habibi.”

He looked at me and grinned.

“Hindi ba’t ilang beses mo’ng sinabi na mahal na mahal mo `ko? Sabi mo, gusto mo’ng mahalin din kita, kaya mula ngayon ay ikaw na ang Habibi ko.” [didn’t you tell me that you adore me? You said you want me to adore you, too, so you are my Habibi from now on!]

Again, he placed his right hand an inch above my shoulder.

“Gusto ko’ng makita kung paano mo `ko paiibigin sa `yo.” [I want to see how you plan to make me adore you.]

I took hold of his hand and pressed it down on my shoulder. He looked surprised and tried to pull it away, but I held on to it tightly, and looked him straight in the eye as if making a vow.

“Then I promise, I will make you want me to stay.”

We stared at each other, his light brown eyes wide open, an eyebrow slightly arched, while I gave him the most intimidating gaze I could muster.

“Mwa-ha-ha-ha!” he grabbed my shoulder tightly. “I will look forward to that then, Habibi,” he snorted as I frowned at him some more.

“Don’t call me Habibi.”