“Ugh, fine.” Until this morning’s little surprise, my least favorite thing about the device had been having to take it off. I rolled onto my back, shut my eyes tightly, and thought of the au naturele Sheldon. Josefina stifled a gasp. I looked over at her.

“What is it, hon?”

Of course, I knew the answer. I could feel the impossibly dense medallion of the transformer resting in my palm.

“Nothing,” said Jo. “It’s just wild, seeing you shapeshift.”

It was a bit like a Hollywood special effect.

Presently, I looked down at the result. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a stab of dysphoria, to see the glorious space dick abruptly replaced by my original parts. The clitoris, misshapen and slightly too big even for T; the meager lips around my front hole. Comedown was a bitch after wearing that thing for twelve-plus hours.

“Feelin it, huh?” Josefina’s eyes were a deep well of concern.

“Yeah. Jo, this is...” My voice had become small and faltering; I was gesturing vaguely at my bits. She grabbed my hand and clasped it hard.

“I know. We used to swap selfies when we were starting HRT, remember? Sheldon Steinmetz, look at me. Take a few deep breaths. You’re here with me, and you’re okay. Your body is a good body. All of its variations are good.”

She was right, of course. In through the nose, out through the mouth… I felt a little better.

“Tha”—fuck, I hated that my voice still cracked like this when upset—“thanks. I needed that.”

“True trans soul rebels, amirite?”

“Damn right. Hey Siri, play Against Me!”

We held each other and breathed through the mutually understood discomfort, as Laura Jane Grace’s gravelly baritone crooned in the background—“Baby, I’m an anarchist, and you’re a spineless liberal...”

When a couple minutes had passed, and the soothing presence of my friends and fellow freaks had chased away the shadow, I lifted my gaze. Ana sat at the foot of the bed, their trunk unnaturally contorted to face us.

“Anomaly,” I said, “How do we prevent this? I’m not sure what’s worse, the getting stuck unexpectedly or the comedown when I finally fixed it. And, unfortunately, I know me and this’ll probably happen again. I’m a forgetful sonofabitch and I have way too much fun wearing the thing.”

“Sheldon”—it was never a good sign when they began so formally—“there are, a couple of answers, but, we fear neither will satisfy.”

“Go on.”

“Ahem. The device was made by our kind, and not truly meant, to function without us. We could, perhaps, configure it to a zero state of, deactivation. Meaning if the power fails...”

“I won’t be able to use it.” I nodded soberly. I had only a child’s understanding of the physics-defying properties of this tech, but it vaguely made sense that it would be unable to just snap back into charging mode.

“We worry for you, Sheldon, were that to happen.”

Our eyes met for a moment. Concern for the well being of mortals did not seem to be something easily grasped by a demon, but in their case it felt sincere. I nodded slowly.

“I’d live, but it isn’t ideal. And I suppose if we do nothing, and this happens again...”

“Yes. The result will be, completely, unpredictable. And I might, not be there to help. I might have business elsewhere.”

I thought on this in silence for a minute, then snorted. “I’ll take the risk. At the end of the day, it’s what I can live with easiest.”

Josefina was unconvinced. She put her hand on my knee, gave me a hard look, and said, “Be reasonable, Sheldon! What if that hadn’t been just an extra mouth today? What if that space dick you love was suddenly turned into a hydra of hissing little tentacle dicks? That’s a hell of a jump scare, on top of the dysphoria!”

“I actually tried that configuration, it was... interesting. But I get what you mean, I really do. Waking up to something like that is... Kafkaesque. 0 out of 10, do not recommend. But then, what choice do I have?”

“If I may”—said Ana, their usual placid facade cracked with, I think, frustration—“we have not yet discussed, the other option.” That had us both upright and staring like prairie dogs. “Yes, an option that would, make the device’s limitations, irrelevant.”

“Alright,” and I puffed myself up a little here, “what’s the catch?”

“It is dangerous. And not, something I can simply bring to you. You must visit the outer realm, and receive a sort of, transplant. A second heart. A, demonheart.”

“What does that mean? Do I have to give my soul to Slaanesh or something?”

Fun fact: bringing up Warhammer 40k demons in the presence of a real life space demon is a surefire way to experience the bizarre sensation of having said demon stare at you like you’re the weird one.

“We don’t do that. But there are, many consequences, to the choice.” They extended their arm, which was human once more but for a cluster of little suckers above the wrist, and touched my leg. “The heart makes you resistant to injury, to harsh environments. We could visit other worlds. But. You would become, a demi-demon. Dormant, when your body is in base state. Active, when transformed. Your personality, would be largely the same, but your desires... would be amplified. As would, your senses.”

“Bruh,” I said with quirked eyebrows. “I haven’t stopped being horny since I began injecting T. How much worse can it get?”

“Do you remember the night we met?”

“You mean, the night you invaded my house and sliced off my clothes, and… and fucked me to the point of exhaustion. Oh.”

“Precisely. Raw strength and, raw desire, both of which you must, master. Or bad things will happen.”

“Ana,” said a very troubled Josefina, “Can we have the day to think it over?”

“Certainly. I will remain here, and further acquaint myself, with this... pornographic viewing device.” Their humanoid fingers luridly caressed the titanium casing of the iPad.