I like to pretend that you care

when I speak to you

that smile

that lying smile 

that beautiful lying smile

it makes my heart stop

each beat weaker than the last

blood rushing to my cheeks 

as you look me tenderly in the eye

and transport me to another world

where the sun rises west

flowers smell of death

and no birds sing

it's wrong

I know it is 

yet I love it

I don't belong here with you

but I need you

I crave your touch

to be held tightly in your arms

head against your chest

each breath you take steals my own

as you smother my face

you're too good at this

making me feel what I shouldn't

the bittersweet taste of your lips

intoxicating me 

altering my brain chemistry

and playing with my emotions

I'm in a battle of yearning for you

you do not want me

And deep down I don't want you

I just love the idea of you

So please pretend for me