I feel my fingers twitch with the urge to comply but deflate when of course the madman calls, “Don’t even think about it or I’ll take away the bed.”

‘The thought of him taking away either the fairy’s bed or mine doesn’t sound that nice.’

The fairy calls out to me as I walk away. I narrow my eyes feeling horrible. 'What would happen if I released it anyway? Could I handle the punishment? What if he went after the boar instead? I’d have to wait until after I could convince the boar or find a way to survive and we all escape before risking it. What if I just escape with them?’ I stop. ‘But then I’d put them in danger of the monster.’ I sigh and keep walking.

I force myself to wait until the madman is busy and the boar is subtly looking at me before I walk into the woods. My heart pounds as I leave the safety of the circle but when nothing immediately attacks me I start to relax. Even enjoying it.

I’m walking through the woods aimlessly and hear something. I feel relief that my plan worked. He’s following. I walk a good bit and then hide behind a tree. I see him looking around, snout raised to the air, tracking me by scent apparently.

'He did say that he has a good nose.'

I wait until I see him pass me, ears and some shoulder showing through the brush and then duck around behind him. He’s not aware I’ve circled around him yet despite his good sense of hearing and smell. Close enough to touch his bristles I purposefully prick myself on one of the remaining. His body shivers, feeling that his bristles got touched and released the toxin. He whirls around shocked. 

“What are you?!” 

I press my mouth against his and he looks conflicted before pulling me closer tongue tentatively dancing with mine. I lose myself and for a good bit I’m okay with that. Finally he pulls me away and sucks on the finger that was pricked.

“The kiss was probably enough,” I say flustered and light headed but he obviously wanted to make sure. I look at his conflicted expression again and realize I’m fudding it up already. I suddenly lose the smile on my face and curse turning away. “I already forgot. I was supposed to talk to you first, I’m-” I subconsciously make a breaking motion with my hands and he goes to grab them then stops. He looks around and then comes a little closer. 

“Can I touch you?” 

I flinch and take a few steps back.

He gestures, “See, I’m not sure if I’m comfortable being in a relationship with someone who I can’t even touch without them getting scared.” He sits down, “But like, I didn’t even realize I could feel this way about you. I didn’t realize I like to feel the way you made me feel!” 

I feel my eyes drawn to the bite mark on his shoulder, the illusion fading.

I take a deep breath. “Technically I'm not afraid of you touching me the last person ruined it for everyone."

His eyes swim with emotions at that.

"This doesn’t have to be a relationship, this can be just for fun.” I offer a cheesy smile.

He looks at me then lowers his head looking hurt. “Long term after we’ve had our fun then what?” He asks softly. 

“There’s no long term you need to escape.” I say firmly. I'd been right, he's the type to romanticize and immediately talk about our relationship and the future. I feel my hands start shaking since I’m already realizing we won’t work with our conflicting reasons for relationships, “I mean we don’t have to do anything. I’m sorry I kissed you like that. I was going to ask you first and tell you all the things I wanted to do to you but- and like there's something else important… a safe word.”

“Like stop.” He says trying to follow.

“Yeah, the reason I’ve been so weird is because… I’ve been hurt before. I didn’t want to become like them but I’m a sadist…I think. I don’t know. I felt so good biting you and I-” ‘Shut up shut up shut up!’ I stare at him, mouth opening and closing and he looks so concerned. 

I cover my face, ‘Don’t cry.’ I take a few calming breaths. ‘I'm sure I'm so sexy right now. “Forget it, I'm a little twisted and disturbed and broken. The only thing that might have worked was something casual.” 

I stare at him watching him process. 

‘I just broke down in front of him. He's going to think I’m pathetic.’ 

I glare at the ground, jaw clenched, “I don’t want a relationship just something to pass the time.” I fold my arms, “I’m fucked up in the head so don't try to fix me, if you can’t handle that don’t waste my time.” I notice him looking nervous. 

“Earlier you said you wanted to talk about all the things you wanted to do to me. Like what?” 

I stiffen, “I’ll tell you when I’m closer to being in the mood of doing it, I don’t really want to do anything right now.”

“You poisoned yourself so that I’d-” His illusion flushes but I notice his real ears turn a deep red. He presses his fingers to his lips and a small, shy smile forms, “I could have just taken care of your finger.”

I tilt my head, 'why is this going well all of the sudden.' “I…well that’s why we need to talk. I like doing things without asking so-” I kick the leaf littered ground, “I need to get permission for everything beforehand and you can tell me anything you absolutely aren’t okay with now.”

“And the safeword is that to make you stop?”

I remember how quick he is to catch on to things and lean against the tree before crouching to look up at him starting to relax. “Yeah, it’s for if I go too far.”

“Why can’t you ask for permission in the moment?” He asks.

I shudder, “I just can’t. It’s weird.” 

He nods slowly thinking about it, “When you bit me and,” he rubs his shoulder, “Pressed against me… I don’t like pain but when you do it, it changes somehow.”

I flush. “Yeah. I don’t like hurting people, I still…don’t it’s hard sometimes.” I cough. "But that's how I get turned on." After a moment's hesitation I approach confidently, he’s looking up at me a little scared. I blink I couldn’t fathom why I’m smaller than him, lighter, he, maybe because I could hurt him emotionally. I relax even more feeling like I now have full control of the situation. 

"Pain is the most important part of it for me, making them helpless, and." I see him struggling a little bit to process this. "And cry." 

He narrows his eyes, "What happened to you?"

"You really wanna know?" I wonder if I should tell him everything or just parts.

I can see his hesitation, "Only if you want to talk about it."

I shake my head no, "I never want to talk about it but if you want to truly understand just how disturbed-"

"Stop. Calling yourself that." He crosses his arms, "Would you call me disturbed for liking it?"

"Yes." I say immediately deadpan.

"Oh."

I laugh a little and relaxing straddle him, hugging him tightly and he lets out a breath hesitantly putting his arms around me to support me as he leans forwards. I close my eyes a little and nuzzle into the front of his neck. I don’t say anything and really don't want him to either. He takes a deep breath. 

“This is nice,” he sighs. “These are the things I want in a relationship…sweet moments, cuddles.” He nuzzles me and it tickles a little I smile jerkily. His eyes sparkle a little. "Is that something you'd be okay with?"

"So," I flush, "Yeah that's called aftercare," I grimace, "Which I failed at doing for you miserably. Speaking of which," I'm not ready for this, "Are you okay?"

"No." His face falls and he presses into me. He starts shaking a little but his voice is surprisingly strong as he speaks, "When you ran off like that I thought I did something wrong."

"I'm sorry no, I actually was pretty disg...upset that I took advantage of you like that."

"Advantage?" He looks up and then looks a little amused. "I didn't even tell you to stop when you told me I could. If I wanted you to I would have been very nice about it but I could have easily stopped you."

I shiver a little. "What if you were still processing or...or confused?"

"Shhh I started whimpering and begging you to tell me what to do." He soothes, "I wasn't confused in the slightest I wanted to get you off." 

"I still feel..."

"Guilty? Yeah me too, you were so emotionally vulnerable there was obviously something more going on and I didn't- this all might have gone better if I talked to you about it first. " He tightens his arms, "This okay?"

I'm tense but I nod. 

"What's your safeword?" He asks suddenly. 

"Wait," I say I push away a little, "I told you I don't do relationships so even though this is great and all-"

"I'll compromise." He breathes.

I lower my eyes knowing I need to compromise too or the guilt will eat me up. "Honestly since we only have a little while together before I convince you to escape," I wink half-heartedly, "I will try to relationship...but we still have to be subtle about it around you-know-who."

"We should probably talk more about the structure of the relationship." He sighs in a way that I feel relatable to. 'But not right now.' I press up against him harder.

"One more thing...I came but what about you?"

He stiffens remembering it and flushes as I feel him respond.

I panic and he lets go of me, hands up, "You're okay, you're okay." He soothes tilting his head up. My knife doesn't even hesitate following the motion as he continues, "Sorry that... you took me by surprise mentioning it."

I swallow slowly but my stupid legs are shaking and I swear I can feel phantom pains. 

His eyes look sadder, "I'm so sorry." He shifts to hide it and then swallows shakily, "That's twice now that it's caused you to...pull a knife on me."

"You can say panic." I feel my hand shaking as I close the knife, everything in me screaming against it as I put it away. Shoulders hunched, "Let's be real you're stronger and could easily overpower me."

"I'd never."

I stare at him, "My body doesn't know that."

He blinks then points, "Your bracelet."

I instinctively slip it off.

He lowers his hands slowly trying to resist smiling, "Really? No, I mean if you have something like that I wouldn't be able to touch you like that." He pauses, "So your body can...relax?"

"That's actually already a thing." I say straight faced then snort. "I'm not wearing an iron chasity belt."

He leans forwards, "There's other things too, not just iron," he looks thoughtful.

I bite at my lip, "While the thought is sweet how would I know it actually works; you could make it so it doesn't work on you."

He removes the illusion and I stiffen as I see his burns, "I'm pretty sure you'd see the proof for yourself, that and me screaming in pain." He tucks in his legs getting more comfortable and I stare at the burns on his wrists and neck. My hands tremble with the urge to treat them but I don't have the medkit. 

"I hate that you have to go thorugh all this, all because..." He looks close to tears and angry.

I take a hesitant step forwards then another sitting on the edge of the rock near him. I'm embarrassed to say it but he gave me an idea that could actually work, without hurting him. I relax putting my head on his knee. I'm not ready for it yet. I'll bring it up to him later.

He looks at me in a way that makes my heart race and I don't feel like I deserve it. He smiles softly as I play with his ears, "Mhm." He murmurs. "You are being so gentle when you're the one that deserves soft treatment." 

I kiss his ear and then look at him. "I don't want to do any of those things right now but-just don't move okay?"

He nods and then makes a whoops embarrassed face. "Okay." He sounds interested. 

I press into him again but this time I crawl a little into his jacket one arm going around his waist. He adjusts subtly to balance me as I relax in the crook of his arm within his jacket. Pressed snuggly against his chest and knees, on my back, I can fully relax feeling safe. I close my eyes a little and listen to him breathing. I rub my face against him and his breath catches a few times. I sigh happily only after a while as he doesn't move obediantly.

I forget how long I was held by him for but I suddenly, urgently get a feeling to stand up. I snap up quickly looking around wildly for the source of dread. I realize someone or something is watching. I search the woods frantically and freeze. 

“What’s wrong? The boar teen asks standing stiffly he also looks around seeming to sense it too. “What is it?” He whispers.

I see eyes that aren’t there but know I’m looking directly at something. Against every instinct I tear my eyes away and look behind me. The madman is there. He also has a machete and a satchel full of things I don’t want to know about. He's looking directly into the woods where the eyes are but the feeling fades as though it’s leaving. I have a feeling it’s directly related to my “uncle’s” arrival. 

Something far scarier than the menacing woods occurs to me, ‘how long was he there and did he see us cuddling.’ I glare at him, waiting for an explosion. 

The boar turns to me, “Whatever it was, it's gone.” He sees my new focus and whips around. I note that his fur stands up sharp, he’s also freaking out, probably thinking about the same things I am. 

I take a breath in slowly through my teeth, hissing. “So are you here to save us or-”  

He looks at me and then points the machete at the boar, “Your baby sister needs your attention, now.”

I feel my eyes darken and lower my head as the teen looks at me but now is far more concerned about his sister and hurries off to check on her. I let out a sigh and look up as the madman approaches me. The machete, concernedly, twists in his hand but he’s looking around us and not at me. I take a step back and he looks down, something is really off putting about his emotionless almost lifeless eyes. 

“You went pretty far off.” He starts.

“Didn’t mean to.” That wasn’t a total lie. He nods a little and then puts the other hand on my back. "Let's go back to the circle for now.” 

“What was that?”

“The circle first.” He says and I note that he sounds a little uneasy. I start to hurry and he grabs me, “Don’t run.” He whispers. “Never run from any of these creatures, they hate iron, where is your bracelet?” 

I look down and then try to remember when I last had it. I search the leaves as he retraces the steps the boar and I took. “The boar went after you when you were gone a little too long.” He starts. 

I nod. “Obviously, we were together when you found us.” I bait him, waiting for anger.

He seems to think about something and I steel myself to actually meet his eyes while he’s doing so. 

He says the last thing I expect. “Maybe he could be trained, mostly to protect you.” He muses out loud, “If he trains easily maybe I will keep him around.”

I feel unease settle into my stomach, “I, I’m already training him, I don’t want you messing up what I’m doing.” He stops and I jerk to a stop.