Important Author's Note

Hey sluts! I'm so excited to be back with the second installment of Marcus & Gideon's story.͠ (≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)  

I do apologize that this prologue is lengthy, but given the mental health struggles our MC (Gideon) is facing, I wanted to take care in the way I handled posting this chapter and make sure to keep this space safe for those struggling with mental illness. I've listed resources at the bottom of this page just in case. If it doesn't apply to you, of course feel free to disregard, but mental health matters, and I'd be a bad author if I didn't recognize the gravity of the kind of topics and content I cover in my work! So, I'm starting with trigger warnings, a few key notes about the chapter I'd like ya'll to check before reading, and then yeeee resources. Okie cool byeeeee

Trigger Warnings: contains themes of severe depression, suicidal ideation/planning, firearms cause Gid owns many (•́ε•̀٥), discussion of a past suicide attempt, talk of death in general, as well as features some kinkier shit cause Marcus and Gid are freaky (choking/erotic asphyxiation), degradative comments/name calling, and some usage of slurs (aka Marcus calling himself a 'homo' cause he feels like it). Please read at your own risk if any of these topics are triggering, and please reach out for help to a safe person or hotline if you are struggling with thoughts of suicide/suicidal ideation. You're not alone.

MY THOUGHTS OK PLS READ: Pookies I am SO curious to hear what you guys think about their overall dynamic, and the 'moral dilemma', these two are facing. It’s been interesting for me as a writer exploring the unique power-exchanges between them, especially the whole, “we shouldn’t but we can't control ourselves” business these two be balls deep in. Marcus is certainly a force to be reckoned with, and Gid is a hot mess. Literally and figuratively, but also quite the force in his own right. Do be nice to Giddy, he's got some demons to deal with, and in many ways he is a fictional face of a very real issue for Post-9/11 Vets in the United States. We understand that on average, more than 17 veterans take their lives every day, either by overdose or self-inflicted wounds. 

And to be completely real and open with you all, I've put some pieces of my own past in here as well (in Marcus), as I'm no stranger to mental illness. I tried to end my life many years ago. I'm very happy to report that I am well now and stable, and also incredibly thankful that my attempt failed. I'd have missed out on some really beautiful things otherwise; an incredible husband who never stopped loving me through the darkest shit ever, and becoming a dad to some pretty fucking amazing kids. Like, literally, they're the best little humans and I can't believe I have the honor of loving and raising them. Life on the other side of that darkness has been eye-opening, and I'm thankful every day that I didn't rob myself and my loved ones of all the good things that came after I found healing and peace. 

I also just want to add that just because I have specifically mentioned veteran suicide, please know that I am fully aware that folks from every age, walk of life, sexual orientation, gender identity, and race can and do fall victim to suicide. The numbers tell us that every 11 minutes in the United States, 1 person takes their life. In 2022 those numbers reached a record high. In case you can't tell, this issue is deeply important to me. 

I'm sorry I've blabbed so much, but just know you're seen here and that your life matters; please don't suffer in silence, reach out for help if you need it. Mental health comes first here in my little gay corner of the internet, okay? Okay. MWAH. You'll find the resources I've compiled below. 

-Love and peace, Quill

Resource List: 

For further Info on Vet Suicide Rates Please Google: 2023 National Veteran Suicidal Prevention Annual Report.
For Vet Support: Suicide Hotline: nfv.org  and Annual Silky Hikes (put on by Donny O'Malley) are a great way for vets to connect and find support through friendship; if you happen to be a vet reading this (yes dear husband I'm calling your nice, firm ass out here), check to see whether there's gonna be a silky hike near you this summer!

For LGBTQ+ Youth Mental Health Support and Suicide Prevention: 
Trevor Project and HRC.org for further resources as well.

For Trans Folks seeking anonymity and a safe person to talk to while in crisis: Trans Lifeline, Human Rights Campaign (HRC.org has tons of resources), or your local emergency line if you are in need of emergency medical support.

For the U.S. that would ofc be 9-1-1, for other countries refer to your own emergency line! <3

BetterHelp.Org is also a great resource if you are seeking therapy or counseling services and have limited options locally/need more affordability/flexability (No, not sponsored obvs, just throwing it out there cause we ALL need therapy ya'll okay).

ALRIGHT. SORRY IM SUCH A RAMBLER. I Just love you sluts and want everyone to be healthy, happy, safe, and loved. *Kissy noises*