“Thanks for coming with me tonight,” I tell Mell nervously as I grip his hand possibly a little too tightly in my own. “Our friend Keely put this party together so the chance of it becoming overwhelming is a big one.”

Mell hands his ID to the bouncer with his free hand and flashes his signature grin at me, squeezing my hand. “I’m happy to be here with you,” He says sincerely, “And it’ll be nice to finally hang out with Lola outside the shop as well.”

The bouncer, a huge man (although he is almost the same height as Mell, maybe an inch taller, he’s just bigger in physique) with a dyed gray mohawk, a gnarly scar on his arm and a scar that looks like a bullet wound in his neck, looks at us after handing our IDs back. “You here for Lola’s party?” He asks, his deep voice rough and hoarse.

“Yeah,” Mell answers, chipper, “Know where to go for that, Clay?”

I look at Mell with a puzzled expression. 

“Clay works out at the gym,” Mell rubs the back of his neck, “He takes boxing lessons with Scooter and Izaak’s uncle.”

Clay grins and leans against the wall. “Sure do,” He says proudly, looking me up and down. It makes me a little uncomfortable, especially since I’m dressed as androgynously as possible today so I can be comfortable but not quite in girl mode. I’d rather be wearing a dress. “Is this your boyfriend, Mell?” My face grows hot.

“Oh, um,” Mell says awkwardly, pulling me a bit closer, “We’ve been on a couple dates. So where do we find Lola?”

“Lola is in the VIP room with Keely and some others,” Clay says with a lazy smile, “Jackke let them have the room at a discounted rate. Go enjoy yourselves.” He opens the door for us. 

Triple B is a huge bar with a purple theme and a giant fish tank in the middle. I think it’s even big enough for a small shark, which I see making its rounds. There’s tons of people in here and a live band on stage with a banner behind them that says ‘HELLFISH’. I find myself wishing I brought my earplugs to help with the overwhelm this place is causing me already.

Mell leads me to the VIP room which is a little quieter without the music but instead is replaced by the buzzing of voices over a stereo that’s playing all of Lola’s favorite music. Lola is lounging in a plush booth next to Keely and the guys she works with at Altered Ego, sipping a martini and chatting animatedly about something.

Keely spots us first and waves me down with her free hand. Her other hand is gripping a glass of some type of alcohol. I wave back sheepishly and she whispers something to Lola before making room in the booth for Mell and me. 

“Heeey,” Keely sings as we slide into the booth, “Ooh, who’s this cutie?” She asks, ogling Mell.

“Mell,” Mell says simply with a smile, holding out his hand for her to shake. 

She takes it eagerly and shakes it. “I’m Keely. Nice to meet you,” She purrs, batting her eyelashes. 

Mell seems unphased. “You too,” He says casually, then to Lola he says, “Happy birthday! I got you something.” He releases himself from Keely’s grip and digs around in his pocket, pulling out a prepaid visa gift card. “It’s not much but I figured you could use it for new ink or something. I know shit is getting more and more expensive every year.”

Lola grins. “Thanks, dude, I appreciate it!” She says sincerely, “Remind me to give you a hug when there aren’t two people between us.” She laughs.

“Oh don’t worry, I will,” Mell responds cheekily. He gets up from the table. “Lanie, would you like a drink?”

I shift uncomfortably in my seat. “Um…a glass of wine might be nice,” I manage to say hesitantly, “Can I come with you?”

Mell smiles warmly at me. “Of course.” He offers me his hand and I take it with a weak smile, scooting out of the booth. “Let’s go.”

Mell

Somewhere among the crowd of people I lose grip of Lanie’s hand and the two of us end up getting separated pretty fast. I look over the crowd of people to find them but there’s a ton of people around and Lanie blends in a little too flawlessly. I didn’t know Lola was friends with so many people. She seems incredibly popular and well liked. I should find them again after I grab our drinks. They should be fine, they strike me as someone who’s rather capable.

I approach the bar where Clay’s friend is bartending. “Hey,” I call over the noise to her, “Bliss, right?” Bliss has joined Clay at the gym a few times.

“Oh, Hot Guy Clay Knows,” Bliss responds back with a smirk. She leans against the bar counter, her purple rat tail falling over her shoulder. “What can I get you?”

I think for a moment. Lanie didn’t tell me what kind of wine they wanted so I go ahead and take an educated guess. “A glass of whatever red wine you think tastes best and a rum and coke for me, please.”

“Perfect, just give me a moment,” Bliss responds, sounding rather bored with being a bartender.

I survey the room as I wait for the drinks and still can’t find Lanie anywhere. I feel someone come up beside me and look directly over to my right but nobody’s there. A voice clears and I look down slightly. It didn’t occur to me how short Keely was when we were sitting down but upon standing next to her she’s a little more than a foot shorter than me. “Wanna like, get me a drink too?” She asks, batting her eyelashes again. 

I chuckle. “I gotta find Lanie, sorry,” I say, trying to let her down easy.

“Why are you calling him Lanie?” Keely asks with a pout, “Some kinda pet name? You two boyfriends?”

“I’d like to be official, but so far we’re just dating,” I say truthfully. I don’t know how to answer the part about Lanie’s name, so I just ignore it. Keely doesn’t seem to mind.

She makes an ‘oooh’ noise. “That’s so cute, I’ve never seen him with a boyfriend before,” She says, “I just know him and Lola have fucked a couple times.” Her voice is slightly slurred as she speaks but it’s a party and I’m sure mine will be slurring too in due time. I open my mouth to ask about that but she pats me on the arm and grins. “Treat him well.”

Bliss hands me the two drinks and I thank her. I have to remember to get my card back and close my tab at the end of the night. Lola is now next to Keely as I turn back around and gives me a knowing smile. “Things have been going well?” She asks over the noise. 

“I…think so?” I call back. “We’ve hung out a lot over the past few weeks since our first date.”

Lola grins. “I know, you’ve been watching FRIENDS with La-Lane,” she stumbles over what to call them in Keely’s presence, “on my couch every other day for a little less than a month. Can’t you two pick a better sitcom to watch?” She jokes, raising an eyebrow and stares at me as she takes a sip from her martini.

“I’ll think about it,” I chuckle, and scan the room again. I’m taller than everyone here so I don’t know why I’m having a hard time finding Lanie in the crowd. I’m expecting her to be in the middle, talking to friends of hers and Lola’s but I don’t see her.

I scan the sides of the room and finally see a figure kind of tucked away in the back corner with their hands over their ears. Upon closer inspection it’s Lanie. “I’ll be back later,” I say to the two women. I take a sip of my rum and coke and hold the drinks up above the crowd as I push through people to get to my date. 

Lanie

It’s too noisy. I wish I’d brought my earplugs. I don’t know anyone here other than Mell, Keely and Lola, although I do recognize the men Lola works with. They haven’t bothered to say hello though, and I’m too anxious to start a conversation. I tuck myself into a corner and clasp my hands over my ears to muffle the buzzing of words and thumping of the music. I feel like I might throw up. 

A few people stare at me and whisper as they mill around which just makes me feel worse, like I’m an animal in a zoo being observed for my weird behavior. I’m just not cut out for social situations like this. I squeeze my eyes shut as my head spins.

A muffled, deep voice says something next to me but I don’t register it as belonging to a human. “Hey,” It says a bit louder, and someone nudges my elbow with theirs. I crack one eye open to see that it’s Mell. He’s holding a drink in each hand and smiling warmly at me. 

I lower my hands slowly and take my glass of wine from him, providing a shaky smile in return. I take a big gulp of it as if this single glass of wine that I’ll allow myself will calm my nerves, and he takes my free hand in his now free hand. I feel the anxiety melt away as he does this. Instead of shouting over everyone, he leans into my ear and softly asks, “Are you okay?”

My heart skips a beat and I feel a slight warmth pool in my stomach. I shake my head. 

“Wanna go outside?” He murmurs. “Quieter out there, I bet.”

I nod. 

Mell guides me to the porch that sits outside the VIP area and we sit down at a table by one of the tall outdoor heaters. It’s the middle of the night in March, so it’s still rather chilly out right now. Mell runs a thumb over my hand and looks fondly at me, a slight smile on his face that differs vastly from his usual kooky grin. “I’m sorry I lost you,” He says, his voice gentle, “I didn’t know you weren’t a fan of large crowds like this or I’d have kept you closer.”

It takes me a minute to find my voice as the overwhelm and panic finishes settling. “I didn’t tell you…” I mumble, “It’s okay.” I’m lost in his beautiful green eyes.

“Does your friend Keely usually come onto people she just met?” He asks with an awkward chuckle, “Asked me to buy her a drink.”

“Oh,” I breathe, “She does that to everyone. Don’t worry, she doesn’t really do relationships.” I laugh nervously.

“Do you?” Mell asks, leaning back slightly and giving me a quizzical look.

My heart lurches. Do I? I don’t know. Last time I tried that it ended up being that joke that got played on me. “I…would like to,” I say, sounding more unsure than I’d like to. I wish I was more confident in myself. This whole conversation is playing out awkwardly and I don’t know if it’s me or Mell that’s the issue. Maybe it’s both of us?

“I really like you,” Mell says sincerely, squeezing my hand. He takes a sip of his drink before continuing. “Would you be willing to be in a relationship with me?”

I can’t help but laugh awkwardly at how clunky he made that sentence sound. He looks puzzled. “I would be willing,” I say, “I’m just… I’m new to it.” 

“New to what?” Mell asks, confused.

I gesture with my wine glass, vaguely so it doesn’t spill. “All of it. Relationships. Nobody has shown interest in me before you. Real interest, anyway.” Mell leans closer to me til his mouth is near my ear again, and my skin prickles with goosebumps. “You don’t h-have to do that, I can hear you just fine out here,” I say weakly before he can speak.

“I’ll treat you well,” Mell mutters, ignoring me. He’s being so cheesy about all of this but I don’t mind. It’s incredibly attractive to me right now.

I put my wine glass down and run a shaky hand through his mohawk, something I’ve wanted to do since meeting him. “Promise?” I ask in a weak whisper. If we had been standing I’d be on the ground with how weak my knees feel right now. 

Mell leans into my touch and closes his eyes before moving his head so his nose is brushing against mine. His lips part and he takes a moment before responding. “I promise.”

His breath smells like rum and coke. I take a shuddering breath, my entire body feeling electrified, and before I can even try to make the first move, his lips are pressed against mine. His lips are softer than I expected. The butterflies in my stomach flutter frantically as he cups the side of my face with one of his big hands, shifting closer to me. My hand closes around a tuft of his hair and I bring him as close as physically possible, gasping for air in between kisses. I could get used to this.