“I thought coming out to Appa and Eomma would go well,” Lanie slurs, poking at the ice in their lowball glass of whiskey, “I just feel even more confused now than before…” There’s a lost look behind their glassed over eyes.

I’m not sure what two of those words mean and give Lanie a blank stare. 

“Mom and Dad,” Lanie specifies. “Sorry.”

“Hey, no worries,” I say with a grin. I lean forward as I clean the counter. “Coming out can be tough, especially for people with high anxiety like us.” I frown, remembering my own coming out, shortly before I met Clay, got disowned, and fell into drugs. “My parents managed to twist the situation and convince me I was doing it for attention, that it was just a passing phase, so I went back into the closet for a while before meeting Clay.”

Lanie looks up at me, their shoulders hunched as they sit at the bar. “How’d they do that?”

I shrug. “I used to be very easily convinced that my reality wasn’t actually reality,” I say with a sigh. “The first people to accept me for me were Bliss and Clay. Bliss lived with my family for a while after leaving her home–”

“Hey,” Bliss interjects sharply, “Not their fucking business.”

“--So she kept trying to get me back out of the closet but it wasn’t until I met Clay and started using that I felt comfortable enough being myself again.” I shrug and try to play it off like it’s no big deal. 

“Using?” Lanie asks, tilting their head slightly.

“Drugs. I was a heavy drug user until I met my girlfriend,” I smile softly as I think of Aubrey. 

“Oh,” Lanie breathes. 

“Obviously I don’t recommend that route,” I say quickly. “I wasn’t suggesting it. That’s just how it went for me.”

“I won’t,” Lanie says. They smile at me with their alcohol-flushed cheeks. “You’re easy to talk to.” 

I chuckle. “Thanks,” I say gratefully, “You are too.”

After Lanie unlocks their phone, I scroll through the contacts on Lanie’s phone as they sob into the toilet. I’m searching for the “M”s. “Mell, Mell…” I mumble to myself. “There!” I press Mell’s name on the phone screen and the phone begins to ring.

“Lanie?” A groggy voice from the other end asks, picking up almost immediately. 

“Hey…This is the owner of Triple B, I’m sorry to bother you so late,” I say apologetically, “Lanie needs you to come get them.”

“Is everything okay?” I hear the rustling of sheets and a squeaky bed. 

I sigh. “Not really. They’re fine, not in any danger, but they came with a friend and ended up having a panic attack after drinking too much. We’re in the bathroom right now.”

“I’ll be over soon,” Mell reassures me, “Thank you for looking after them. Who did they come with?” 

“Their friend Keely,” I say, “Not sure if you know her or not, she’s a regular here. She tried to get Lanie up and dancing when Lanie was finally comfortable and she and Bliss called them boring, Lanie snapped at Bliss, and Bliss tried to attack them. It’s been a rough night.” As I’m talking I hear the faint noises of a car door unlocking and slamming shut. This man gets ready to go, fast.

“Damn it,” Mell grumbles, “Yeah, my ETA is like 15 minutes. Be there soon.”

“Cool,” I hang up and rub Lanie’s back. “He’s on his way,” I say gently. I go ahead and plug my number into their phone contacts as well. Maybe that’s intrusive of me but I did really like talking to them tonight and feel like we could be good friends. “I put my number into your phone,” I tell them, “Text me to let me know you got home safe.”

Lanie sniffles and nods. “Thank you,” They say in a wobbly voice. “I’m sorry, you probably hate me now.” They burst into tears again.

“Not at all,” I say in a hushed tone, rubbing their arm soothingly, “I’ve been in your position before. It’s okay.”

Lanie nods and wipes their eyes. “Ugh, my makeup…”

Mell

I park the truck badly but don’t even bother to straighten it out as I lock the doors and rush to the doors of the bar. “Whoa buddy,” Clay says to me, a hand on my chest as I try to run past him, “You gotta wait in line, Mell.”

“Clay,” I huff, “My partner is in there having a drunken panic attack. Can you please let me in?” 

Clay frowns. “You mean Lanie? He came in about an hour and a half ago with one of our regulars.”

“Yeah, Lanie,” I say, scratching the back of my neck with a sigh, “And they’re not a ‘he’.” 

“Sorry,” Clay mumbles. “Go ahead.” He takes a step back.

I throw him a half-hearted ‘thank you’ and rush into the bar. I see the girl I met last time and Clay’s friend Bliss chatting at the bar like nothing has happened. I shake my head and rush past them towards the bathrooms. I don’t have time to talk to them right now, I need to rescue my partner.

Lanie and the mysterious bar owner who I spoke to on the phone aren’t in the men’s room and I can’t check the women’s, so I knock on the  door of the gender neutral bathroom. “Lanie?” I call.

The door opens and a person with hot pink, frizzy styled hair and interesting makeup is staring up at me. “Mell?” They ask in a monotone voice. There’s concern behind their eyes, though. “I’m Jackke. Lanie is in here.”

I thank them and rush into the bathroom. “Hey, I’m here,” I say softly as I kneel down next to Lanie. They have their head tucked between their knees as they breathe heavily. They look up at me, their makeup smeared all over their eyes. I smile at them and run a thumb down their cheek. “It’s okay.”

They swallow hard and nod, sniffling. “Jackke is so nice,” They slur, wiping their eyes, “Xe stayed with me this whole time.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Xe?” I ask. I’ve never heard Lanie slur their words before, so maybe this is them saying something incorrectly? “How much did you have to drink?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, xe,” Lanie says, pointing to Jackke. “Jack is a ‘xe’.” 

Jackke nods. “My pronouns, xe, xem and xir.”

“Oh, that’s new to me,” I say, raising my eyebrows. “Very cool.”

Then Lanie says, in response to my drinking question, “I don’t know, Keely drinks a lot.”

I chuckle quietly. 

“Don’t laugh at me,” Lanie hides their face in their hands and whines. 

“I’m not, I promise,” I reassure them, taking their hands in mine so they have to look at me. I grin at them. “It’s going to be okay. Come on, let’s get you home. Can you walk?”

Lanie gets to their feet with Jackke and my help and grips my hand in theirs with a vice grip. They sway and I steady them with my other hand. “Easy,” I say.

Jackke and I get Lanie into my truck and I buckle them in. “We’re going home now,” I say in as soothing of a tone as I can muster. They seem like they’re finally calming down. I turn to Jackke and extend a hand for xem to shake. “Thank you so much for looking after them,” I say gratefully, “This isn’t Lanie’s type of scene. I’m not sure how that girl even got them out of the house for this in the first place.”

Jackke takes my hand and shakes it firmly, surprising me since xe is built like a twig. “It was no problem,” Xe says, “I’m sorry my bartender is part of what caused this. She has a bad attitude a lot of the time.”

I huff a sigh and shrug. “I’m just glad Lanie had someone helping them through this ‘til I got here. I really appreciate it.” 

Jackke nods and gives me an awkward thumbs up. “I gotta…get back to work. I’m sorry. Make sure they shoot me a message either when you both get home or when they wake up in the morning so I know they’re okay.”

“Will do,” I say with a smile. Jackke smiles back and waves as xe turns around and goes back into the bar. I see Clay give xem a thumbs up which goes completely ignored by Jackke.

“Hey, we’re home,” I say, shaking Lanie gently after parking the truck in a guest parking spot at the apartment complex they live in. They had fallen asleep during the ride home.

Lanie opens their eyes and groans. 

“How are you feeling?” I ask, unbuckling their seatbelt. 

“Ass,” Lanie responds. 

I laugh slightly at that. “Well you drank a lot… ‘Ass’ makes sense if it’s your first time drinking that much.”

Lanie groans again. “Come up with me?”

“Of course. You think I’d let you go up there by yourself in this condition?” I grin at them. “What kinda boyfriend would I be if I did that?”

“Bad one,” Lanie slurs. 

I laugh again and get out of the car before helping them out as well.

When we get up to the apartment, Lanie goes straight to their room and collapses face down into their bed with a long groan. I sit down next to them and tap them gently on the back. “Wanna get out of the dress so you can be more comfortable?” I ask quietly. 

“...Yeah,” They mumble into their pillow.

I help them sit up and I very carefully help them take their dress off. It’s my first time seeing them without much clothes on but that’s not what my mind is on right now. I just want them comfortable before they pass out again for the night. Lanie nestles up against me after their dress is off, their smeared makeup making them look a bit like a washed up 80’s rocker. It’s kind of endearing. 

They close their eyes. “Stay with me,” they mumble. 

“Of course,” I say. “Let me just…” I kick my shoes off awkwardly before curling up with them in my arms. I kiss their forehead and they smile weakly, eyes still closed. Two seconds later and they’re snoring. 

I stay awake as long as I can so I can make sure they’re okay. I never thought someone could be so important to me like this, but I find myself wishing I could hold Lanie forever.