The presents sat unopened, just inside the apartment until Trinity came home and when she asked me what they were, I told her Christian had sent them.

“Do you want me to open them for you? Find out if they’re anything interesting?” she offered.

“No,” I said lifelessly. “I’ve had many presents from Christian. I can imagine what’s in them. I don’t want them, but I’m not ready to throw them away.”

“Yeah?”

“Trinity,” I said slowly, looking at her with eyes like moons on water, because I was about to cry again. “I have to tell you something.”

“What?” she said, dropping to her knees.

“I’ve never told you this... but I’m in love with him.”

She refrained from looking at me as though I was stupid, and instead gazed at me with compassion in her eyes. “I know.”

“No,” I said, grabbing her hand. “I mean, I love him in a way that is completely crazy. Like I’m obsessed with him, like every time I close my eyes, he’s with me and if I let myself just feel without thinking, it feels like he loves me too. Like he loves me so much he would die for me. Like I would die for him, like I did die and he somehow made me live again. Like the bond between us is so strong that him leaving me makes me feel like death has come. I feel like I live in a world that doesn’t have anything in it but him, and I don't know what he has done.”

“What do you mean?”

I didn't mention the unforgivable thing he did to save my life when I was dying, even though I thought that was what he was skirting around when he said he couldn't love me. Instead, I said, “What has he done to make me love him like this?”

Now Trinity looked at me like I was stupid. “He’s an eleven out of ten. Did you miss that?”

“How he looks isn’t important,” I muttered.

“Isn’t it?”

Trinity didn’t know that his look as Christian Henderson was a lie, and I wasn’t about to tell her. It wasn’t important. Whatever face he wore, he’d always be attractive in a superior way. 

“The reason I’m telling you this… is because soon… Very, very soon, I’m going to start chasing Rogan Cormack. I’ve decided that there’s wisdom in that incredibly vulgar saying.”

Trinity raised an eyebrow. “Which incredibly vulgar saying?”

“That the only way to get over one man is to get under another one?”

“And you’ve decided on Rogan?”

“I want him,” I said unapologetically.

“Why? He’s nothing like Christian.”

“Exactly,” I said fiercely.

Trinity sighed. “You’re going to have competition. Felix likes him.”

“Yes, well, most guys like Felicity-Ann and in return she likes most of them. You have to stop the train somewhere.”

Trinity put up her hands in surrender. “Okay.”