Letter 2.

No return address.

Indifference wants less than oblivion...

I can't believe that I still can't help shedding tears when I remember your name... ¿Why do the stars always remind me of your presence as something cold, something sinister, as if the night had teeth that devoured me countless times?

I have always wondered why, despite all the damage we do together, I still want to come back to you; maybe, I got too used to seeing the small scar on your nose or your eyes making me fall into the endless void of confusion...

I can't, but I want to see you... if someone knew how many nights I have cried for you, they would blame me for why I am so naive, however, I can't help it, I still love you in secret and daydream about being by your side... only God knows how many times I have imagined our wedding, but I know that what I want can't be.

And maybe, this is what torments my heart and does not let it be calm, for that reason, I swear by all that I want to hate you and reproach you, that we never loved you, but the heart cannot be convinced because it has memory and is not full of blood; my weak heart still waits for you with infinite patience…

¿What have you done to my poor soul that before sleeping it has to think of you and hug the pillow to pretend in the middle of this burning loneliness that you are the love of my life even though I will never be yours?

I know that there is another person who occupies that place and that is what hurts me the most, so much so that while the tears stain the sheets of my bed, another person snuggles up to your chest and kisses your soft lips that I once kissed too…

Is she the one who wants to have the things that I have or am I the one who yearns to have what belongs to her; Confusion makes me lose my mind because I just want you to choose me first, even if it's just once...

I don't want to be just one option among many, I really want to be the first thing you think about when you wake up and your last thought before you go to sleep... ¿Am I being very selfish?

But ¿why, if I wasn't the love of your life, did you treat me so sweetly? Now, ¿who will take care of this immense pain that I carry inside?

There are no pictures that express my emotions, there are no letters sent to the right recipient that print what you make me feel, but I drown in this sea of ​​darkness while I wait for death to say yes this time, because every night it sits next to me and tells me that it is not time yet…

Meanwhile, you go on with your life as if I had never existed… the wind whispers that you once mentioned me in some casual conversation, but the water that surrounds me does not wet me because it knows that I have already drowned in my own misery waiting for you knowing that you will never come, however, I want to believe before closing my eyes every night, that it is you who embraces me while I sleep, that you are the person that I dreamed of, that I idealized and that I also lost…

With love;

Who still waits for you...