Thalia watched amused and horrified at Daniel shuffling through the doorway. She finally felt that sense of closure, of vindication. She wasn’t crazy. What she felt, saw and experienced were all real. This… world, this chance to see and experience something so much more than most sat at her fingertips. Yet, she knew she was only allowed in because of her connection to Mel. She knew Evora wouldn’t waste her time on her otherwise. She understood it, but she still didn’t want to be left behind.

She watched as Evora took her spot back, lounging, waiting for Mel. With a sigh she got up and made herself a tea, something to calm her nerves. She needed grounding, not in reality but her reality. The reality she was facing where nothing made sense to the world but it did for her. 

“So, Evora,” She spoke, blowing on her tea, “Why do I not get the mind tricks, why am I let in on this grand secret.”

She watched Evora’s eyes flick towards her, her delicate nose scrunch, like a shark tasting blood on the water. She supposed many would find her gaze unsettling, the unsettling pressure in the air near her uncomfortable. She found it – welcoming in a way. Like she was no longer homesick for a place she couldn’t find. 

“She – Melody, lets you in. She lets you know. I am merely following her lead.”

“So, what, you make her and just let her free, un-tethered?”  

“Yes.” 

“But… wouldn’t that risk, I don’t know, complete disaster?” Thalia asked, before continuing, “I don’t know squat about what you are, but wouldn’t some bloodthirsty out of control creature just careen and crash? Risk exposure?” 

“Indeed they would, young human.” 

“So what, like a test or initiation?” Thalia thought aloud, “No, that doesn’t seem right.” 

Thalia thought for a while, lost in her thoughts never noticing Evora’s glittering eyes. It is perhaps a test, but passing wasn’t about the result. Everything she heard Evora say to Mel, it always hinted about internal thoughts and about self. Purpose? No, a purpose was something someone would crave. Could it then be control, she wondered, yet that too felt wrong. Control was a thing imposed.

“You push her to understand something, something just out of sight. You push her to be, yet you don’t say what.” Thalia mumbled. “So perhaps it isn’t about what, but fostering a kind of… inner sovereignty, an inner will?”

Thalia was quiet for a while longer, pondering Mel, the things Evora would tell her, the fact that Evora herself would occasionally just watch and let her ask questions. She wasn’t sure if it was a test for her or just more of Evora’s overt curiosity as she watched the world around her. 

“You would also do well as our kind.” Evora spoke suddenly, “Though I fear you wouldn’t survive the change. At least, as you are now.” 

This snapped her out of her thoughts, jolting her gaze back to Evora. It resonated, a kind of fear and longing in her bones. Something she wanted but was afraid to voice. She wanted more than this life. She wanted to escape the doldrums of humanity and its everyday problems. She wanted – she didn’t know what, just not this.

“Wha – why?” Thalia spluttered. 

Evora tilted her head, watching intently, that shimmer behind her eyes flickering in the low light of the apartment. There it was, that look. She was waiting for something, for an answer. No, she was waiting for Thalia to figure out the answer. Thalia couldn’t help the wry twist to her mouth. Evora was infuriating, but she understood what she was doing, in a way that took Mel a long time to understand. Then it clicked, and she felt a wave of self hatred. 

“Ah. I see. I will help her learn the lessons she needs, but I don’t have the drive, the reason. I just want an escape.” Thalia spat, “I’m just a pawn.”

Evora kept quiet for some time, watching. She didn’t respond for so long Thalia let her head fall back and stared at the ceiling. That was always why she felt so pulled to Mel. Why it hurt so damn much that she never believed her about… everything. Melody was her rock in this pointless fucking world. With her things made sense. Their late night bar crawls, the photo projects, the under the moonlight philosophy discussions over a cigarette.

“Is that what I’m doing?” Evora hummed. 

“Isn’t it?”

“You think your situation is novel. It is not. I have seen this countless times before. Regardless of who makes the fledgling, this is common. Perhaps I am getting sentimental in my age. Or perhaps this time is something special with Melody.” Evora responded, “She will survive, whether you are a pawn, a meal, or a tragedy. Something to remember, that admittedly even my kind forgets, we all stem from humanity.”

“What the hell does that even mean?” She scoffed.

“That is for you to figure out. Perhaps you will find what you need to tip the balance. Have a good night Thalia.” 

She watched as Evora quietly slipped out of her apartment, leaving her alone with her thoughts. She didn't know how to feel. She felt raw, exposed, afraid and excited. She wanted to be as frustrated at Evora as Mel was, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t help but like her. She liked the way she was an enigma and she missed how strange the world felt when she or Mel weren’t around. It was strange how quickly she adapted to their presence, how much she craved that energy in the air. 

Find what I need to tip the balance. She wasn’t entirely sure what that meant. She felt there was something more than the obvious, and she figured she would find a way to follow Mel regardless of what Melody wanted. Evora wasn’t wrong about that. She would. She wanted to. She just didn’t know why. 

 Thalia looked back down at her phone, looking at the text she sent warning Mel of Danny poking his nose in. She hadn’t responded yet, but she figured she would get back to her soon, or just say something when she got back. She hated that Evora could see through her. She hated that Mel got this chance. She hated the debt, the education, the effort that only led to this. A small apartment and a shitty job and parents that looked away in disappointment when they conversed with other disappointed parents. 

She wanted meaning, she wanted to be someone that mattered but on her terms. She liked standing against the world with Mel. She hated not feeling good enough, not being good enough. She hated that she couldn’t seem to just fit into the picture society made. 

With a sigh, she got up, falling into a bad habit. One of many, she thought and poured a vodka and set the bottle down with her. She didn’t want to think, she didn’t want to feel, she didn’t want to be. And then she knew what Evora’s words meant. She didn’t want to be. Of fucking course the only way she could have what she wanted, that escape, was to be the very thing she wanted to escape from; Herself.