“Luca.”

“Hm.”

“It's time to wake up.”

Luca groaned and snuggled deeper into the blankets. He was so tired that he felt like he would need a whole week to recover.

He shifted again, about to pull the blanket over his head when he felt strong arms wrap around his waist. However, what made him open his eyes was the kiss on his neck, in that little spot near the nape of his neck that now made him react more intensely than he thought he should. It was all Elijah's fault, the way Elijah had touched him the night before and all those words.

Gods! What had he done? Had Luca really said all that to Elijah? He couldn't believe it! Luca sat up in a rush and looked around. He was still in his room, and Elijah? Well, the idiot was still beside him, leaning against the headboard with such a satisfied smile on his face that it made him wonder: Had he said something he didn't remember the night before?

“So, do you like getting hit?”

“Elijah!”

“I thought I was the only one you let f--”

“Don't you dare!“ Luca admitted that he was panicking.

“I wonder where the boy who wanted to take it slow is, hmm?”

In another leap, Luca threw himself on top of Elijah and covered his mouth with his hands.

“I take back everything I said. Everything!”

Elijah licked his hand and continued to smile at him until Luca gave up, letting Elijah speak:

“It’s a shame. We could have so much fun…”

“I… I don't know.“ Luca had to look away, maybe he didn't want to take anything back, no matter how humiliating it was.

“Baby. Come here.”

Luca went, of course.

Elijah held him by the waist and made him lie down on his chest, one of Elijah's hands immediately going to his hair. Luca didn't understand why that gesture calmed him so much or why that feeling of tenderness made him want to tell everything he hadn't said the night before. It's just that... Luca felt conditioned to never lie to Elijah, and he had already said so much... Luca wished he had a time machine to make sure none of that had happened, because only then would he be sure that nothing between them would change.

“I'm very sorry.”

“Luca.”

“I shouldn't have left. But when you told me to meet other people, I thought... I thought we'd never have a chance. So why wait for something that's never going to happen?”

“It's okay. It's my fault.”

“I don't care whose fault it is. I want you to say that you forgive me and that this won't affect things in the future.”

“I forgive you and it won't change anything.”

Luca knew Elijah was only saying this because he had asked, but even so, the knot in his stomach seemed to loosen.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Luca pulled back enough so he could look into Elijah's face and touched him there gently, stroking the sides of Elijah's neck.

“You know I love you, don’t you? Really?” Luca forced himself to say, seeing a small smile appear on Elijah’s lips.

“Why these statements now?

“I realized… I thought I liked you because you were my first friend. But when I was in Italy, it felt like something was missing. I tried to find that in other people, you know?“

“What were you looking for?“ That's when Elijah touched his shoulders, trying to comfort him.

Ahg, he couldn't look at Elijah when Elijah acted so nice.

“I don’t know!” It was a lie, of course. And Elijah knew it. “It’s hard to express how much you mean to me. So when I don’t tell you things, it’s because I can’t, not because I don’t want to.”

“I know that. But I need you to tell me. I need you to give me permission.“ Then, Elijah touched the back of his neck, pulling his head up, making him look at him. And still, when Luca refused and kept his eyes closed, Elijah insisted: “Beautiful. Look at me.”

Luca did, he did because it was impossible to resist when Elijah spoke to him in that firm and at the same time reassuring tone.

“I understand. You don't have to force yourself.”

“I'm very sorry.”

“No, Luca. It's not your fault.”

“I don't want to worry you.”

Because that was the truth. He had always liked to go through life quietly and unnoticed, the problem was that Elijah noticed him and hadn't let go of him since. No matter how much time passed, he would never get used to the attention Elijah gave him and even after a decade, it was strange, it was as if Luca was in a dream and at any moment he would wake up, realizing that Elijah had been his imagination playing tricks on him.

“This will not happen again.”

“What?“ Luca asked, not understanding.

“I won't force you. Just… tell me if you need anything.”

“Anything?”

“Sure.”

“Then say you love me.”

“I love you.”

“Again.”

“I love you.”

“Again.”

“Luca.“ Elijah smiled and kissed him, interrupting him. “What's going on? This is about last night?”

“It's nothing.”

“I promise I won't do that again.”

“That…?”

“I'm not going to be… so intense or… you know.”

Why did he feel like his face was heating up? And since that was the case…

“Why not?”

This was the moment Luca feared the most. Elijah remained silent and stared at him for long seconds, giving him no choice but to stare back. He feared these silences so much because this was the moment when Luca couldn't lie, and if he couldn't speak, there would be no way to divert attention away from the truth.

Yes, that was the reality, no matter how much he tried to hide it, Elijah would always know everything in the end.

“Is this all out of shame? Is the humiliation too much for you? Or is it because you like the feeling?”

Luca didn't know how Elijah could say all this in such a serious and focused way. Well, Elijah was more right than he thought. However, when Luca got nervous, these feelings only came out in two ways: tears of anxiety or laughter. So, imagine the scene where he started laughing out of nowhere while Elijah remained serious and austere.

“Do you think I’m a joke?” Elijah said and puffed out his chest, pretending to be offended.

“I would never say that about you.”

“I love you.“ Then, Elijah hugged him tightly and caressed his back. “No matter what this thing is between us, we will face it together.”

That's what Luca expected.

***

“Are you ready? I didn't tell her we were coming.“ Elijah took his hand and pulled him out of the car.

Luca couldn't believe he was back in the house where his fondest memories were made. This was his childhood home, the place where he had discovered that love and affection were still possible after his mother died. It was the place where Luca had discovered that love could come in all shapes and sizes and could be expressed in simple or complicated ways.

“Maybe we should come back later?”

“She'll love to see you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Luca, this is your home too. It always will be.”

Luca took a deep breath, stopping in front of the front door. He felt so guilty! Elijah wasn't the only person he had left behind. Alina had been one of them too. His second mother, the person he could tell everything to after Elijah, always offered a tight hug and an open kitchen for him.

“Elijah, I--”

“Shhh.“ Elijah squeezed his hand, smiled at him and finally pushed the door of the house, guiding him inside. “Mom! We're here!”

It wasn't long before they could both hear the sound of heels on the white granite floor, and appearing from one of the doors that Luca knew led to the kitchen, Alina came almost running and with so much energy that for a moment Luca saw himself in the past, the first time he had entered through that same door, seeing the simple but elegant decor. Cream-colored sofas, almost white blue walls, poufs and blankets spread around the room and a large television. The smell was the same, the same fragrance of freshly made food, sugary and bittersweet, making him smile immediately.

“Luca, my son.“ Was all he heard before Alina's attack came, thin, strong arms wrapped around him and long, dark brown hair fell over him, Alina's scent was still the same.

“Gods, look how you've grown! And those cheeks, hm? So pretty.”

“Mom!”

“Elijah, look at him. Have you two worked things out? I hope so! You've been gone for three days! That's the least I expect.”

“Alina.“ Luca finally said, smiling, and leaned towards her, receiving another hug from Alina with pleasure.

“I can't believe I'm getting my assistant back! Our menu has suffered greatly since you left. How about we discuss this tomorrow? Are you staying with us today? What a question! Of course you are.”

Alina grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the kitchen and Luca looked back, seeing Elijah shrug. He knew that now it would take a while for Alina to get tired of him. And as the saying goes, "like mother, like son", or something like that. And since there was no point in fighting any of the Roberts, Luca let himself be led by Alina, not that he minded; it was always fun to spend a few hours in Alina Roberts's company, delicious food, relaxed conversation and a friendly shoulder to vent to.

***

It had been a while since Elijah had walked the streets of his neighborhood. They were not what they used to be, as they had gone from being quiet and humble to being filled with tall buildings and noisy cars due to the subway line located just a few blocks from his house. The good thing about all this was that now practically every corner had a store or market, or even a shopping mall. Exactly what he was looking for. Walking around carefree, he went straight to a stationery store and soon found what he was looking for, a dark leather diary that looked delicate and beautiful, just like Luca. He paid, walked around the mall and found himself stopping in front of a family watch shop, remembering having gone into that place years ago and bought something special, but never having followed through with his plan. Now, a few hours later, he was returning home. Imagine his surprise when he saw his mother's helpers coming in with bags after bags of food and pots. Elijah was no longer surprised. It was a familiar sight indeed, but one he hadn't seen since Luca had left, the house full and the aroma of sweet and savory foods permeating the air.

Well, it looked like his gift would have to wait.

Unseen, he went to his room, left the bag on the bed and opened the top drawer of the dresser, finding the rings he had bought three years ago. Could this be the moment he had been waiting for? After all, they had already made it clear that they loved each other, so why not take the next step? He had learned that the best thing to do was never to assume anything, and if he didn't express himself, how would Luca know? Elijah couldn't wait to see Luca's reaction.

So, exchanging the rings for the diary, he took the box with the rings and put the diary inside the drawer, feeling confident. He left the room and went towards the kitchen, almost bumping into a girl who was wearing an apron from his mother's restaurant. She apologized and continued hurriedly out of the house, without the usual flattery. He hoped this one would last longer than the others. It wasn't that his mother was a bad chef, it was that most people didn't have the same enthusiasm that she or Luca had when it came to cooking.

Elijah finally entered the kitchen and came across a complete banquet. He saw roasted, fried, and boiled meats, grains, and pasta of various types, not to mention the not-so-healthy sweets and savory foods.

“Are we having a gala dinner or what?” He had to ask as soon as he entered the kitchen. It was kind of funny. Alina and Luca were there, along with several helpers, covered in flour and other things that Elijah couldn’t identify, all wearing identical aprons and walking around in such an organized way that they looked like worker ants.

“You're right, dear!“ His mother exclaimed. She wiped her hand on a towel, as energetic as he hadn't seen her in a long time, or at least not at this “child who ate too much sugar” level, and hugged him tightly before going back to walking around the kitchen, checking the oven and making sure everything was in order. “Call your friends! Call your friends' friends. No, better yet, call your friends' parents too.”

Elijah wasn't sure about that. Did he even have that many friends anymore? Elijah shrugged, about to do as his mother had asked when Luca appeared in front of him, trying to find a place to put some kind of whitish cake on the table.

“I'll help you.”

Elijah moved some things around and finally found a space, taking the tray from Luca's hands and placing it on the counter.

“Here is my baby. Where have you been?”

“I'm not your baby.”

“You’re not?”

Was now a good time? It didn't matter how Luca was dressed, whether in his school uniform or his tight pants, and even now with flour from head to toe. Luca would always be the most beautiful and cute thing Elijah would ever meet, especially when he tried not to be embarrassed by the public display of affection.

Elijah reached into his pocket, touching the box and watched for a moment longer, seeing Luca lower his head, his black hair protected by a hair net, allowing him to see the blush spread strongly across Luca's face, down his long, elegant neck. Elijah didn't hold back, he grabbed the back of Luca's neck and pulled him close, kissing him slowly and long, and only stopped when he heard a moan and the sudden silence that followed; the murmurs around them stopped and the sound of pots banging, too.

“Eli.“ Luca whispered in a barely there voice and held onto his arm, his face now burning. So shy and so sweet that Elijah could taste the sugar on Luca's tongue, the sweetness in his soft touch.