A myriad of scents hang in the air. Spices that tickle my nose and the rich draw of meat that sets my mouth watering.

A new Indian takeaway opened near the park, just across the road from the gate where I would wait for Eloise to arrive for her daily walk.

I thought the feeling of a new experience might help, it’s understandable that she’s struggling to let go of what happened to Cameron, it was only a week ago. But my heart still burns whenever I feel her energy shift back to how it was on that night … full of fear.

Why does she miss him? I am here. I am the one who fixed what he broke. I erased every trace of him from our nest.

That niggling frustration keeps gnawing away in my gut and fueling the hunger at the worst of times. I’ve had to avoid Eloise when I feel the familiar cravings. Going to work has helped as a distraction, both with the hunger and the fear…the fear that she will run.

Even if she accepted me in the moment, even if I let my hope get the best of me … I’m not an idiot, I know it was a decision born from survival instinct. No matter how I have endeared myself to her before, I must be careful. If she is reminded of that night, she might change her mind … I don’t want to lose her.

That’s why I fixed everything, just like I promised. There’s nothing left upstairs. I bleached out the blood and even repainted over the stripped areas and replaced the carpet for good measure. I even replaced every tainted piece of clothing. I even ate all that remained of him.

The only reminder left … is me.

Which is why I’ve tried so hard to give her space. I’ve gone to work like a normal human. I bring home food, we eat together, and I don’t ask for more. I make sure to stay close, but out of sight. Quietly doing the chores and leaving gifts to make her life easier. If I can just help her become comfortable around me again, and help her forget what she saw, then maybe this time it will work. Maybe she will welcome me again like she did before.

I keep thinking about that kiss. The one she gave me before it all went wrong. She came to me. If what she said was true, then she wanted me. I want that again.

She’s gorgeous, looks so soft and pretty in the evening light. I wish she would smile at me again. I want to talk to her. Listen to her stories. Hold her close. I wish … I wish …

“I think it’s time we talked … about us.”

Wait, what!? My arm jolts and for just a second, I almost lose control of my strength and the fork hits the plate hard enough to chip it. I can feel my hold on this face slipping again, it takes all my focus to just hold it as I look at her. “What do you mean?”

“We, uh… This… I want to…” Eloise takes a deep breath, I watch the rise and fall of her chest, listen for her heart, anything to help me focus. “I don’t really know you. I mean, I know the you that’s pretending to be someone else, but I don’t know the you you.”

“You…don’t know me?” My hackles rise. Her scent is all wrong again. Tension and fear are evident in her posture. I try to focus and let my emotions twist this face like a human’s would, that always seems to soothe the fear a little.

“What I mean is … I feel like I should get to know you more.”

Those words sound like the sweetest music. Everything narrows down to a point. “Get to know me.” Is this really happening? It feels like I’m stuck in that moment again, with the taste of blood in my mouth and the fear of rejection, hit by the shock of acceptance again. Is she really saying what I think she’s saying?

I wait while Eloise takes another mouthful. The food seems to help her mood. Shoulders relaxing as the bitter edge leaves her scent.

This whole situation feels familiar. It’s the same as that night. Acceptance … cut through with questions.

“What do you want to know…exactly?”

That tension is back again. My hands are itching; they’ve been doing that lately.

“I need to know who you are and … what you are.”

“Okay.” I try to get more comfortable. If she wants to know who I am … I let a little of the real me shift from the inside out. Everything comes into sharper focus, every shadow, every light, the subtle glow of her heat. I blink and let Cameron’s sight replace my own again. “Well, you know I can copy people, their faces and their memories. I’ve been able to do this my whole life.”

It doesn’t look like that was enough.

“Yes. I get that. But I do have a question about the, um … The voices and the face in the doorways. The one that always disappeared when I…” Eloise turns her head a little, eyes flicking to the side.

I know what that means. The precautions I made before scared her. It feels wrong to meet her eyes while she’s looking at me like that, so instead I look down. The tiny chip of ceramic slips between the prongs of my fork, I try to flick it off without resorting to the knife. It gives me something to do. I keep my gaze low, but I do risk a glance up. “That was me. I … I had to make sure.”

“Make sure of what?”

“That you weren’t going to run away.” There’s a burning in my eyes. My hold on this face slipping again. “I can’t … please understand, I couldn’t risk losing you.”

Everything itches, too tight, too tense.

“Okay.”

Wait … really? She just … accepted that explanation. No fight. No fear. Acceptance. That light feeling, like floating, fills my chest again. The control seems to snap back into existence. I wait as she grabs the naan. She’s looking at me. She’s looking at me. She’s looking at me!

“Could we try something?”

Something? What something? If she wants to try something with me, is it a good something? That word could have so many meanings, oh but I hope it is… Don’t get your hopes up. Sit up, smile but don’t show teeth, be friendly and put her at ease.

“Anything you want.” Too eager. Tone it down.

She keeps looking at me and then down at her plate. Did I sound too…Oh no, have I put her off?

“It’s nothing big just…what if we…got to know each other by…going on a date?”

“A date? With me?” She wants to go on a date with me! Me!

Everything feels tight and loose all at once. A flash of silver catches my eye. Then a clattering sound makes my ears twitch. My fork! Catch it! Did Eloise see … of course she saw. I can hear my blood rush to the surface, it happens sometimes when I’m with Eloise, my insides go all tingly and warm. It’s distracting.

I take my seat again. Be calm. Don’t sound too eager. Be soft. Be human. Be calm. “I … I want that. To take you on a date … as myself.”

“Then it’s a date.”

She wants to go on a date with me. She wants to go on a date with me. She wants to go on a date with me. My Eloise. She wants me. Me. My Eloise wants to know me!

I feel light. Loose. Pure elation forms a vibrating pulsing weight in my chest. I quickly draw my eyes down. I can’t get lost in looking at her now. I have to stay focused. Don’t shift. Don’t shift. Don’t shift.

“I still have some questions.”

I look up. Is she … no, her eyes are soft, not glaring. She isn’t running or scared…she’s just curious. Everything feels gentler now, the tension in my core unravels a fraction. I will answer any question Eloise has, so long as she stays. “Of course.”

“How did you do it? Be in two places at once.”

Oh no, that is not a good idea. Not now, so soon after… The warm elated feeling goes silent. It feels like a bucket of cold water’s been dumped on my skin. She wants answers. She deserves answers. But to show her … I can’t. Not now.

I sigh. “I will show you, I promise. Maybe after a date. But not right now, please, you’ve just eaten.”

She doesn’t look satisfied. Expression twisting with that little downward pull at the corner of her lips again. Such soft, warm lips. If I look just a little lower, I can see the pulse in her throat, that beautiful, musical, pulse. I can almost taste the sweet life running beneath that smooth, pulsing point. Focus Dieter! I force my eyes back up to hers.

Wait. No. Her eyes are doing the thing again. Staring and unfocused.

I promise I will show you one day, you’re overthinking it, just stop. Please. Stop.

Familiar ripples of panic weaken the restraints inside me.

“Promise me you won’t run.”

I freeze. I used my real voice again. I shouldn’t have done that, not when she’s most likely remembering…

Her eyes focus again, trained on me with startling intensity. The reflection of the lamplight turns her eyes to gold, treasure, my treasure.

“I promise.”

Everything tingles. I can feel my scales shift, a ripple of cold racing across my skin.

I’ll hold her to that.

My Eloise.

My love.

Please … I hope you keep that promise.