Chapter 17: The House-Demon

Briar had been feeling particularly... unsettled lately. After the fiasco with the job hunt, the constant squabbles with her own demon nature, and Cassie being her usual radiant self, Briar had come to a conclusion: she needed to prove that she wasn't completely useless when it came to human things. Cassie was always doing so much for her—being kind, being patient, keeping everything together—but Briar wasn’t sure she had ever actually done anything for her. Not really.

“I’ll make dinner,” Briar had declared one evening, as Cassie kicked back on the couch, scrolling through her phone. “I’m going to make you something special. You’ll see.”

Cassie raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure? You don’t exactly seem like the... cooking type.”

“I’m a demon, not an idiot, Cassie,” Briar shot back with mock offense. “I can handle a meal. I’ll even make something fancy.” She grinned with an odd, mischievous gleam in her red eyes. “It’s going to be perfect.”

Cassie blinked. “Okay, but if I end up with a demon soufflé that comes to life and tries to murder me, I’m not holding it against you.”

Briar scoffed. “Like I’d do something like that. What do you take me for?”

Cassie chuckled. “I mean... you're not exactly the world’s best cook. Two words…magma cake.”

“I was learning, okay? This time, it’s going to be different. Trust me.”

With that, Briar marched into the kitchen, ready to prove her worth.

The first mistake, as any demon would tell you, was the flour. Briar had seen it on one of those food channels Cassie liked to watch, where the chefs always had pristine counters and a calm demeanor. Briar, however, had neither of those things. The moment she opened the flour bag, a storm of white powder erupted into the air, coating everything in sight. She sneezed, sending a puff of demonic magic into the mix, which sent the flour swirling like a small, chaotic tornado.

“Whoops,” Briar muttered, her tail twitching with frustration. “I’ll clean it up later.”

The second mistake was the heat. As Briar tried to juggle multiple burners at once, she kept forgetting the subtle nuances of human cooking. She turned the heat up way too high, then forgot about a pot on the stove, resulting in a near explosion of oil and charred vegetables. In a panic, she grabbed the nearest towel, only to knock over a jug of water into a pan of sizzling oil. A flare of fire shot out from the pan, catching a few stray towels on fire. Briar swore under her breath.

“Okay, okay, no big deal,” she muttered to herself, waving her hands to extinguish the flames. “Nothing a little demon magic can’t fix.”

As she casually snapped her fingers to banish the fire, she accidentally sent the fireball flying across the kitchen. The flames danced across the walls for a moment before finally dissipating, leaving the place smelling like a barbecue gone wrong.

Cassie poked her head around the corner, eyes wide. “Briar… you’re setting things on fire again. You’re literally burning down our kitchen. What happened to your perfect dinner?”

Briar waved her hand dismissively. “Nothing to worry about. The food’s coming along great.”

She was lying, but Cassie didn’t know that yet. Cassie gave her a skeptical look but didn’t intervene. She was either too scared to stop her or curious to see if she’d be the next one to be caught in a cooking disaster. Either way, Briar pressed forward.

It was finally time for the grand dish—Briar’s proud attempt at a soufflé. She had followed the recipe, but somewhere along the way, the dish seemed to have picked up a bit of a demonic twist. The moment it started to rise in the oven, something went wrong. The soufflé grew at an alarming rate, bulging out of the pan like it was trying to escape.

“Why’s it shaking like that?” Cassie asked, voice full of unease as she watched from the doorway.

Briar’s grin turned mischievous again. “It’s supposed to do that. Totally normal.”

But when the soufflé began to thump against the oven door as if trying to break free, Briar realized that perhaps she’d overdone it a little.

“Uh… maybe this is fine,” she said, slowly inching toward the oven. “Just... one more minute. It’ll be great.”

The soufflé gave one final violent shake, and with a deafening pop, it exploded from the pan. The freshly-baked monstrosity hovered in the air for a moment, writhing and pulsating with some unholy energy before shooting toward them like a sentient projectile. The soufflé, somehow alive and angry, darted toward Cassie and Briar with frightening speed, making a terrifying screech as it did.

“Okay, that’s definitely not normal!” Cassie screamed as she ducked behind the counter, wide-eyed.

Briar, for her part, was laughing hysterically. "This is fine! This is fine! Just—just dodge it, okay? It's just a little demonic soufflé! It’s not even that bad!”

The soufflé let out another screech and proceeded to chase them around the kitchen, growing in size as it bounced off the walls.

Cassie scrambled to the counter, knocking over a bottle of olive oil in her panic. "You—You were right about one thing. This is not normal!" she shouted, throwing a dishtowel at the offending soufflé.

Briar waved her hand again, trying to subdue the abomination. “Damn it! I swear this was supposed to be delicious!”

Finally, with a frustrated sigh and a snap of her fingers, Briar caused the soufflé to burst into harmless smoke. It dissolved into nothingness with a pop, leaving behind only the smell of burnt egg.

Cassie, who had somehow managed to avoid being smushed by the flying soufflé, blinked in disbelief. “What... what just happened?”

Briar, still covered in flour and oil, grinned sheepishly. “Well, I guess it was a little... too much soufflé.”

Cassie let out a long, exhausted breath. “I told you this was a bad idea.”

“Don’t worry,” Briar said, crossing her arms as if she were unfazed by the disaster. “I’m still going to make it up to you. Dinner’s not over.”

Briar's tail swished in a mix of pride and embarrassment, betraying her cool demeanor. "Close your eyes, babe," she said with a grin. "It’s a surprise."

Cassie hesitated but closed her eyes, a nervous laugh escaping her lips. “Alright, hit me with it, demon girl. I’m sure this will be a culinary masterpiece.”

Briar raised a hand with mock confidence as she presented the charred remains of the soufflé, still slightly smoking. “Ta-da!”

Cassie opened her eyes and, after a beat of silence, burst out laughing. “You’re insane. You’re an actual disaster in the kitchen.”

Briar grinned, relieved that Cassie was taking it well, though a tinge of guilt still lingered in her chest. “It’s... uh, definitely an acquired taste.”

But Cassie smiled, picking up a small bite and cautiously tasting it. “It’s... not the worst thing I’ve ever tasted.”

Briar tried to keep her cool. "Yeah, that’s right. Not the worst.”

Her tail wagged slightly behind her.

"Don't get cocky," Cassie teased, but she took another bite. "At least it's... interesting."

Briar smirked. "You’ll learn to love it. Or... I’ll just keep trying again tomorrow."

Cassie leaned back in her chair, still chewing. “I don’t know if I’m ready for a tomorrow with you and your cursed cooking, but sure. I guess I’ll survive.”

Briar couldn’t help but feel a warmth spread in her chest. Maybe she wasn’t the best at being human, but Cassie’s smile was enough to make the whole mess worthwhile.

It was a quiet Saturday morning when Briar decided it was time to step up. Cassie had been picking up the slack for a while now—doing the laundry, washing dishes, taking care of groceries, and basically managing the entire apartment like some kind of one-woman army. And Briar? Well, she had mostly been focused on... other things. Demon-y things. Like trying to figure out how to get out of the contract with Cassie, avoiding her feelings, and occasionally trying to banish mischievous kitchen appliances to the underworld.

But today, Briar was going to change that. She was going to be useful.

“I’ll do the chores today,” Briar announced with a confidence that could only be described as fake it ‘til you make it. She stood in the living room with her arms crossed, trying to look like someone who knew exactly what they were doing.

Cassie, sitting comfortably on the couch with her coffee, eyed her with suspicion. “Uh... Are you sure?”

“I’ve got this. No need to worry.” Briar’s tail flicked behind her with exaggerated flair. “Laundry? Dishes? Vacuuming? I can handle it all. All of it.”

Cassie narrowed her eyes but smiled, clearly enjoying the show. “Alright, but if I find you turning the laundry into some sort of cursed pile of chaos, I’m not saving you this time.”

Briar scoffed dramatically. “I’m a demon, Cassie. I’m good at all things.”

She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and strutted into the laundry room.

Briar stood before the laundry basket with a triumphant grin, hands on her hips. She eyed the washing machine as if it were a powerful foe, a rival that she would quickly conquer. How hard could it be, really? Throw the clothes in, hit some buttons, maybe add a little detergent. No problem.

The first hurdle? The detergent.

She stared at the small bottle for a moment before grabbing it. There was a weird symbol on the front, but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle. Demon symbols were her bread and butter. It should’ve been no different.

Briar twisted the cap and poured a ridiculous amount of detergent into the drum, not even thinking to check the instructions. She just shrugged. “I’m sure this’ll work.”

She pushed the button to start the machine and was immediately greeted with an explosion of bubbles that started spilling over the sides of the washer like a foamy monster attacking the laundry room.

“Okay,” Briar muttered under her breath, “this is fine.”

She grabbed a towel and tried to stop the bubbles from flooding the floor, but they were multiplying too quickly. “What the hell—?”

At this moment, Cassie wandered into the laundry room, still sipping her coffee. “Briar… What in the world is happening?”

Briar was knee-deep in bubbles, her face drenched with soapy water. “Uh, nothing to worry about. Just a little… bubble issue. I can fix this. Totally normal.”

Cassie couldn’t suppress her laughter. “Briar, why is the laundry room a bubble bath?”

“Shut up,” Briar grumbled, using her demonic magic to try and zap the bubbles away. It only half-worked, creating a bigger mess in the process. “This was supposed to be easy!”

Cassie leaned against the doorframe, still amused. “It’s okay, babe. It’s cute that you’re trying, though.”

Briar groaned, hands on her face. “I’m a disaster.”

“You’re adorable,” Cassie teased, offering Briar a hand to help her out of the laundry room before the bubbles overtook her.

Next up: dishes. Briar was definitely better at this, right? She just had to wash some plates, maybe a few cups, and dry them. Simple. No problem.

She grabbed the first plate and washed it with enthusiasm, her tail swishing in satisfaction. This was easy. Too easy. She could handle the rest in no time.

But then she reached for a cup, and that’s when everything went wrong.

First, she tried to wash it by dunking it into the sink with too much force, causing the cup to shatter against the porcelain, sending pieces of ceramic flying.

“Whoops,” Briar muttered, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment. “I definitely didn’t mean to do that.”

She tried to hide the broken pieces by quickly shoving them into the trash can, hoping Cassie wouldn’t notice. But Cassie—being Cassie—was already standing in the doorway, arms crossed, staring at the mess with a raised eyebrow.

“Did you just break a cup?” Cassie asked, a grin tugging at the corner of her lips.

“Maybe,” Briar muttered. “But, you know, it was just a cup. I’ll get the rest done. Easy peasy.”

Cassie folded her arms. “Okay, but if you break a plate, we’re going to have a problem.”

Briar let out a defeated sigh. “I don’t know why I thought this was a good idea.”

Briar's final task of the day was vacuuming. How could this go wrong, right? She’d seen Cassie do it a hundred times. Just push the thing forward, maybe maneuver around some furniture, and that’s it.

The first 30 seconds went smoothly. She zipped across the floor with the vacuum, enjoying the hum of productivity. But then she tried to vacuum under the couch, and everything went off the rails.

The vacuum suddenly sucked up a sock—one of Cassie's favorite pairs—and it started making a strange noise. Briar, distracted, pulled harder, thinking the sock was stuck.

Big mistake.

The vacuum started to spit out dust, dirt, and various other items from the apartment like it had turned into a possessed demon vacuum. It began spitting out pieces of old paperwork, random items from drawers, and even a few things that definitely didn’t belong in a vacuum.

“NO!” Briar screamed, as she tried to stop the chaos. “This isn’t how it’s supposed to work!”

Cassie rushed in, seeing the disaster unfold. “Briar, what is happening?!”

“I was just trying to vacuum!” Briar yelled, her tail flicking wildly. “And now it’s eating everything! The vacuum is broken!”

Cassie couldn’t help but laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. “Briar, you’re a mess.”

“I know,” Briar said, defeated, as she stared at the rampaging vacuum. “I really thought I could do this…”

Cassie put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay, babe. You don’t have to do everything. Let me take over. You’re cute when you try... even if it's a disaster.”

Briar sighed deeply. “I swear, I’m not cut out for human stuff. I’m just a demon who ruins everything.”

Cassie smiled softly. “That’s okay. You don’t need to be perfect. You’re perfect just the way you are.”

Briar huffed, her tail flicking once more. “You’re lucky you’re so cute. I’m seriously never doing chores again.”

Cassie laughed, ruffling her hair. “No promises, but I’ll let you off the hook for now.”

Briar leaned into her, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Fine. But you owe me a reward.”

Cassie raised an eyebrow. “A reward for what?”

“For not setting the house on fire this time.”

The apartment was far from spotless, and Briar’s attempts to help only made things worse. But as Cassie finished cleaning up the mess, Briar sat back with a contented sigh, leaning against her.

Maybe she wasn’t great at being human. Maybe her attempts at normal chores were always going to end in total disaster. But there was something warm and comforting in Cassie’s laughter, in the way she made everything feel okay—even when things went completely off the rails.

Briar realized, in that moment, that maybe she didn’t need to be perfect at everything. As long as Cassie was there, things would always work out.

And with that, Briar relaxed, letting Cassie finish the cleaning, her tail gently swaying in contentment.