“Hmm?” I look up at the sky, frowning. What the hell? It’s too early to be my turn, so why is it suddenly night? My tail swishes, and I drop the head I had been holding. I lick my fingers clean, stepping towards a more open area to make a portal to the Valley. Well, the fingers I still have. The punishment for my little temper tantrum yesterday was the removal of four fingers before going out on this stupid hunting assignment. 

I had stood, trembling, beside the Well of Life with a knife I had formed in one hand as I slowly cut away my pinky and ring fingers. Watching my blood sink into the depths of the Well, where Mother resides. 

I had then moved on to the next hand, cutting away the same two fingers as I moaned in pain. The bitch had also given me a tough assignment. During the day. I’m sure it was just to add insult to injury. Whatever, at least killing the Life Spirits is a distraction and it’s not like anyone else can handle the more powerful ones. So I probably would’ve ended up killing the pride of lions anyway. 

But now I’ve become distracted from that, worry for Ezi clouding my thoughts. I push the massive leaves of the jungle out of my face, looking for a large hole that I had seen earlier. Portals are easier to create if you use a naturally formed circle. The lake that Ezi and I had used when we were with the human, for example, had been shaped like a perfect circle. Making it easy to draw power from. I find the hole again and leap in. 

After several moments of falling, my feet touch down on a thick branch in our forest. Hopping from one to the next, I start making my way to the main clearing. 

I soon stop dead in my tracks, nearly falling off my branch when I land. Ezi. He’s entered the Valley, along with Jake, Kamiko, Lilo, and the human. Their anxiety scrapes my chest, and Ezi… I can hardly feel him at all. His aura has always been difficult to detect despite how powerful he is, but it’s fleeting and weak right now. No wonder it switched to night out of nowhere. It’s only thanks to me being awake that it’s night at all, otherwise the Orsmirans would’ve been plunged into Twilight. 

I rush through the treetops, not caring that my tail lashes the leaves. Having no time to relish in the lack of day in the world right now. 

I leap out of the forest, easily fifty or so meters above the grass. Jake is carrying the translucent Light in his arms. One without arms of his own. I’m so shocked that I nearly botch my landing, crashing on my side and skidding in the grass. I somehow manage to roll back onto my feet before losing momentum, dashing at full speed. 

There’s a little crowd around Ezi and company but it parts for me as I get nearer. Black smoke is oozing off me, as it always does when I get emotional. 

Fear is pouring off Jake like lava down the volcano, his eyes flaming and hair lighting up the dark somewhat. Other Fire Spirits come closer, all with their glowing eyes and flaming footprints. Jake looks at me. “Cyn! Cyn, he just - he fell over! I dunno what to do!”

Lilo, helpful as ever, raises her hand and shouts, “Wack his little noggin with a big rock!”

Kami, arms crossed, murmurs to me. “Cynthing, thank goodness you’re here! Listen, Ezi used a strange ability I had never witnessed prior, then promptly fainted.”

“You think all his abilities are strange, Kami,” I point out. 

“No, Cynthia, you misunderstand. He used his powers without his spear.”

Now I’m surprised. Ezi, who can only augment his weapon and light the sky, and nothing else. Now, after - what - twenty years of being a Spirit, he suddenly gets this new power that he can use without a weapon? And I can’t help but notice that his weapon isn’t anywhere near the group. I stare at the small Spirit as Kami fills me in on the details, Jake and Lilo sometimes adding their own commentary. The human looks shocked, staring at nothing. Again, I feel sympathy that I try to push down. 

When they’re done telling me, I slowly nod. He was able to channel his powers through something other than his spear, not truly use them on his own. I never thought that something like this would be possible. Still, it was his hair, a piece of his own body. OUr weapons are a part of us - for those who have weapons, anyway - so it’s not that surprising. But still…. I’ve never heard of an Elemental doing something like that. 

There’s silence among us as I take it in - as we all seem to take it in. The quiet is broken when Ezi lets out a soft groan, yellow eyes fluttering open. He looks more solid now, the sky brightening, but his expression isn’t lucid. His eyes jiggle around and he;s obviously not processing anything. He reaches up, as if intending to tug on his hair when he notices his hands haven’t reformed yet. 

I gently hold his wrist. “Ezi, don’t. I’m here for you. How are you feeling?”

He grins. “Great, thanks for asking!”

“Mate,” Jake interjects, “you ain’t got hands. Just sayin’.”

Ezi chuckles. “You get used to that after a while.”

“Ezi,” I say, shaking his wrist to get his attention, “they told me what happened. When you have the energy, you’re going to show me what you did. Okay?”

His smile fades, and his aura turns quieter. Dead. Slowly, nervously, he nods. 

A hand held my own tightly, so much larger than my tiny palm. I looked up into that face, so much like an older version of mine. Or was I a younger version of her? Her silky black hair and wise brown eyes matched my own. 

Is it arrogant to think that my eyes were wise, even so young? I don’t think so. It’s the truth, after all. I’ve been old since I was new. 

I waved goodbye as she went to work. Sadness weighing down my chest. 

That evening, Dad came home. He had been drinking again, I could smell it. Taste it on his breath as he put his face too close to mine. 

He pushes me to the ground, calling me names. His feet so pale against my brown skin, something I inherited from my mom. It seemed to make him angry, something I could never wrap my head around. 

Why? Why marry my mother, only to hate the daughter that resembled her so? Why have me in the first place, when he was only going to hurt me? I asked “why” to so many things. 

Humans. Unable to see their own fallacies. Their own cruelties. Even then, at such a young age, believing myself to be one of them, I knew. I knew that humanity was terrible, completely beyond redemption. 

I stared up at that man: At my mortal father. The fool of a man who married someone he hated because of her skin, only to hurt her with unkind words. And to hurt his own daughter even worse. I stared at him. And I laughed at how pathetic he was. 

I wake from the dream, feeling oddly out of place. As if the past is where I’m meant to be, not here. What a stupid notion. I may not exactly belong here in the Valley, but it’s the best that I have. 

I leave my cave, having come here to try to sleep. It wasn’t as if Ezi was up to showing me his weird new ability when he returned earlier, so I figured I may as well lay down. Relief washes over me when I realize it’s nighttime. Properly this time. Good. I expect it’ll last longer than the usual 12 hours with Ezi’s condition though. I close my eye and release more of my aura than usual, allowing it to blanket the world in an even thicker night. A longer night means more time for Ezi to rest and recover. 

Many Spirits seem to have this misconception that Ezi starts to fade during the night because of my darkness harming him. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. He starts to fade purely from the exhaustion of lighting the sky all day long, all alone. 

I go to the small clearing, finding Ezi, Jake, and the human. She’s been given a pillow and blanket by now - Lilo had run off to “borrow” one after their little Serpent adventure - while Ezi lays in his pile of soft things once again. Jake is dancing, his flames beautiful against the night sky. 

“Hey,” I say, to which Jake smiles warmly, stopping his movements. “How is he?”

“Hard to tell, if I’m bein’ honest,” he admits. “Y’know he keeps shit locked up. ‘Sides, he’s dead asleep.”

“Don’t say that, it’s a bad omen.”

“Like we ain’t dead already, Cyn.”

“You know what I mean!” I huff. “And we can still fade, dumbass. Anyway, you mind if I practice?”

“Long as I ain’t the target.”

“Deal. And you can’t try to court me into dancing!”

Jake doesn’t reply, just sticking out his tongue and going back to what he was doing. Guess we have a deal, then. I try not to stare at him as he dances, instead forming a sword to practice swings, stabs, slashes, and even the occasional block. 

The “practice” is useless, especially without a sparring partner, but the movement is soothing. I find my sword harder to hold than usual, seeing how I still don’t have all my fingers. What a pain in the ass. 

Jake and I both go still when we sense a Water Spirit approaching. The higher one, no less. They look at me with piercing blue eyes. Not the neon of Jake’s, but a cool and tranquil colour, like the permafrost of Zensar. 

“Who are you tonight?” I ask, trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice, but my aura must betray me. It’s so hard to hide emotions from other Elementals. 

“I’m Angelo,” he says, gesturing to his masculine body as he enters the area. I just shrug. Angelo has one hand on his hip, the other holding his whip. 

“And what are you doing here, Ang?” Jake asks, keeping his voice as level as mine. 

“You wanna fight or something?” I say next, eye on his whip. But the Water shakes his head. 

“The Light showed off a new ability today, so I was curious. Well, an ability new to all of us anyway. What I want to know is this: How many others has he kept hidden?” He lifts his chin to look down his nose at us. Neat trick, considering both Jake and I are taller than him. “And how many have you kept from us, Shadow?”

“That’s uncalled for, Angelo!” Jake snaps, taking a step forward. I place a hand in front of him. 

“Number one: My name is Cynthia,” I start. “Number two: I didn’t know about that power of Ezi’s. Neither did Jake or anyone else, even Ezi didn’t know, from the sounds of it. Number three: I have no reason to hide anything. I’m a recluse, not a traitor. And you damn well know that!”

“And what if you’re lying to me right now? You’re a Shadow, after all.”

“Oh, right! How could I have forgotten? Because humans fear the dark, you all think it’s fair to hate me for being its source! How could my simple mind possibly forget about what infallible justice you common Elementals have! It’s based off mortal morality, which - we all know - is absolutely not an oxymoron.”

“Cyn,” Jake whispers, placing a hand on my shoulder. I shrug him off and growl. 

“Look,” I continue, “it’s fair to fear and hate me for my personality. I hate me too!” I get closer, pushing against Angelo’s shoulder. It’s a gentle tap at worst, but he steps back anxiously anyway. “But don’t you dare make assumptions about me because of my element! Ezi, too. Or anyone! You’re just being a jackass!”

“It’s called being cautious of the unknown.”

“No, it’s called being a dick. Now get the fuck outta here before my foot gets acquainted with your ass in an extremely intimate way!”

He hesitates, but turns on his heel quickly enough. “Good riddance. Asshat!” I call after him, and I can hear Jake snickering. 

I’m in my cave now, mindlessly drawing on the floor with my knife. It’s the only space I have left in here. I draw swirling, looping patterns, though it’s slow going on the uneven surface. I wish I could get a decent sketchbook somehow. And pencils. 

It’s around midday, and I still can’t sleep after that stupid dream and my non-so-friendly chat with Ang. I’m grateful to sense Ezi arrive outside, and I stand to greet him. The blade I had been using fades the moment I let go of it. My friend looks tired when I push away the vines and see his face. At least he has all his pieces back, which is more than I can say for myself. 

He grins at me. “Morning, Cyn! Nice day, isn’t it?”

“Well, that seems self-congratulatory for a Light Spirit to say. Gotta tell you though, it’s darker than usual. Looks like I’m one step closer to eternal night!”

His expression doesn’t so much as flinch. “I bet you’ll be happy when that happens, won’t you?”

I sigh at him. There’s weight behind those words, and we both know it. It’s a weight that pulls him down, makes his narrow shoulders slump. I doubt he wants to talk about it, so I change the subject. “So, I want your side of the story about yesterday. With the big-ass snake.”

He finally loses the grin, turning more serious. Or maybe just blank. It’s hard to tell with him. He sits down right outside my cave, leaning against a tree. I sit next to him, our knees barely touching. And he tells me. The story is virtually the same as what I heard before. The same underlying confusion in his words that everyone else had. 

So, he really had no idea, I think. “What made you try that?” I say aloud, check resting in my palm. 

Ezi stares at his hand a moment, trying to decide how to put his thoughts into words, most likely. “I guess it was… instinct? Something inside me knew it would work. I actually don’t even remember ripping out my hair, I was just suddenly attacking.”

“Really? You don’t usually dissociate that badly in combat, do you?”

“No. I do go blank when I fight sometimes, but I don’t usually just forget it all. Cyn, it’s so weird. I don’t know where it came from.” He starts pulling on his hair. 

I’m just as puzzled as he is. Ezi has shown signs of amnesia when it comes to his time as a human, but I’m not aware of that being an issue since entering his Spirit form. If anything, Ezi would have retrograde amnesia - the loss of memory for things that happened before the major event that caused the illness - which wouldn’t be affecting his current memories. Hell, I’ve wondered plenty of times if he has retrograde amnesia. He didn’t even speak a language when I met him, and he’s so… ignorant about human life. I wonder if I could learn more. Maybe if I stole some human books-

“Cyn? You just went quiet.” Ezi touches my shoulder. 

“Sorry, just thinking.”

“What about?”

“Well… have you ever experienced issues with memory? You know, from your human-”

“My memory is perfect,” he snaps, tone sharper than anything I’ve heard from him. His expression is cold and intense, startling me into silence. Okay, I can scrap that theory. 

“Right. Sorry,” I apologize awkwardly. “I can’t think of any other reason, though. I’m outta ideas.”

“What does it matter? It makes no difference why it happened. It still happened.”