“This... isn’t exactly my kind of environment,” Jeremy said, flattening himself against the wall like a snail to avoid being touched by other human beings.

“You’re really pathetic, Smith. At least drink something.” I handed him a small plastic cup with two centimeters of vodka inside.

He made a face that I couldn’t quite read, probably disgust at the girl who had squeezed herself between us to reach the kitchen.

Apparently, the Dark Sigma parties attracted a lot of the local population, despite their house being rather small.

No one could say they hadn’t put in effort. There was loud music, alcohol in every corner, and annoyingly flashy lights in the living room.

Since I couldn’t stand the lights in the living room, I had confined myself to the hallway leading to the kitchen, and Jeremy had followed me like the clingy parasite he was.

He had accepted the cup I offered, but he still hadn’t shown any sign of bringing it to his lips. I’d already downed two cups, but I still didn’t feel much different. Getting drunk wasn’t going great; maybe hooking up would work better.

I felt strangely nervous. Even though I was far from a virgin, having only ever had experiences with the same person made me feel inadequate.

I slumped against the same wall Jeremy was pressed against and began scanning the crowd.

“What about him?” I raised my glass to point at the big guy crossing the hallway.

He had to squeeze past us to avoid the giggling girls, and Jeremy didn’t even pretend not to cover his nose.

“I say he hasn’t discovered soap yet.”

“So classy. What about that one?” I pointed to a skinny guy, as thin as a rail and pretty short. He had absolutely nothing in common with my nonexistent ex-boyfriend.

Maybe that’s exactly what I should have gone for. Even if my dick practically fell asleep at the thought of bringing him to bed.

“I don’t know. I’m not really an expert on this sort of thing. I’ve never liked the idea of picking up random people.”

“Yeah... much better to pick up your twin brother’s leftovers.”

The plastic cup he was holding cracked, and I pushed myself off the wall before he got the idea to put his hands on me again. I slipped into the crowd and slowly made my way to the kitchen.

That seemed to be the girls’ hangout area, but the counter full of bottles welcomed everyone.

I grabbed a bottle, but a larger hand stopped me from snatching it.

“You got ID?” The tough-looking guy asked. “We’re the ones who’ll get in trouble if minors get caught drinking in here.”

“I’m twenty-one.” I lied, though not by much. “And if you want, you can be the one to spank me.”

I winked at him, and he let go of the bottle with a disgusted scowl.

“I’m not a fag.”

“Then you don’t know what you’re missing. I can show you if you want.”

Someone behind the guy started laughing, and he didn’t seem to like it.

Another laugh, more awkward and forced, came from behind me. Jeremy grabbed my shoulder and started pulling me back. “He’s kidding! He’s kidding!”

“Hey!” I tried to shake him off, but I was more focused on bringing the bottle to my lips than on fighting him. That was good stuff, not the piss they’d put in my cup earlier. I felt it all the way to my brain, and for the first time since I’d arrived at that fucking campus, I felt my muscles relax.

Jeremy dragged me to the entrance, and then outside to the porch.

There were a lot of people there too, all wrapped in a thick cloud of smoke, so Jeremy kept going down the stairs and into the yard where the lights couldn’t reach us.

“Why do you have a death wish?!” he yelled into the darkness.

I giggled. I was starting to get drunk. I took another gulp, but he snatched the bottle from my hand.

“Okay, let’s share, we can share a little...” I muttered.

“I don’t want to drink.”

“You said you’d go with me. Don’t be a buzzkill. All you’ve done so far is nag.”

I heard him let out a frustrated breath. “I can’t drink. It’s a medical issue.”

“Really?” I thought of those mysterious pills. There was plenty of stuff you shouldn’t mix with alcohol. “What medical issue?”

“None of your fucking business.”

“Because it’s a lie?”

Before he could respond, I heard the voice of that guy who had asked if I was of age. It was pretty far away, and I couldn’t even see his outline, but I could tell the general direction.

“Heeeeey!” I waved a hand. “I’m still available!”

“Put that hand down!” Jeremy snarled, pushing me back.

I giggled. “You drink with me, and I’ll put it down.”

“Why are you being so difficult?! I’m trying to keep you from ruining your reputation in your first week of college.”

I blew a puff of air in his face. “Maybe I want to ruin my reputation. Maybe I want the whole campus to know I’m gay and available. And maybe, for once, someone decent will show up.”

I heard him respond that it was a stupid idea, but I didn’t really listen. A few rays of light from the house reflected off the bottle, and I managed to snatch it from his hand again and take another swig.

“Benjamin! Stop it! Okay, fine!”

“Fine?”

“Let’s go back to the room. We’ll take the bottle with us and drink together. But away from these people. Please.”

I giggled again. “You’re really that worried about what people will say about me tomorrow? Why the hell do you care?”

I felt his fingers grip my arm. Not with the aggression from earlier, but with the gentleness you’d use to guide a blind person across the street.

A shiver of revulsion ran through me at that thought.

“No one should be judged based on their worst moments. That’s all.”

He started to take a step, trying to gently pull me forward.

“And you’ll drink with me? If I go back to the room?”

“Why do you care if I drink with you?”

My mouth suddenly went dry, and breathing felt like a difficult task. The truth was I felt lonely.

I was alone.

There wasn’t a single soul within a thousand miles who gave a shit about me.

And after twenty years of life, on the entire planet Earth, there was only one person who truly cared about me, and right now, she was too busy to talk to pick up the phone.

I must have been really drunk, because one moment I was stepping into that dark yard, and the next I was sitting on the floor of my room, my back against the base of the bed. Everything was pretty blurry, but I was fairly sure that the shapeless shadow in front of me was Jeremy crouched down, trying to take off my shoes without waking me up.

“I’m awake.”

“Then you should go pee.”

I tilted my head to sigh.

Jeremy took off my second shoe and then slumped down next to me. I heard the clink of glass. The bottle had made it back to the dorm with us. Interesting.

“Tell me something about yourself,” I mumbled.

“I’ve already told you everything. I was born in Vancouver, I have a twin brother…”

“Tell me something you wouldn’t tell someone insignificant.”

Jeremy lowered his head to look at whatever he was holding in his hands. It took him a long time to speak. “I love gin tonic. Vodka’s always made me nauseous, but gin… I could drink it endlessly.”

“Then take a sip.” I tried to guide the bottle to his mouth, but my hand-eye coordination was seriously lacking at the moment.

“I told you, I can’t,” he replied, swatting away my pathetic attempt.

“It’s just one sip; what could it do?”

He sighed again. Then again. Then he raised the bottle.

“Wooooooooooow! Smith knows how to have fun! Who would’ve thought?”

He let out a resigned laugh and lowered the bottle. He dropped his head against the bed.

I fell asleep for a moment, waking up when the bottle clinked again on the floor.

“You know... my friends stopped drinking whenever I was around. To... you know... not tempt me. And for months I was obsessed with the idea that they were holding secret get-togethers to drink, excluding only me, talking about me when I wasn’t there. And now that I’m here... they don’t have to do it in secret anymore.”

I tried to focus on his image. He seemed defeated, but it was easier to tell by his voice than by his expression.

He took another sip, and this time he kept the bottle at his lips a little longer. When he pulled it away, he let out a long breath of relief.