Leonard came back to himself. He was in the lagoon, his body submerged up to his chest. The droplets still ran down his face, but he no longer knew if they were part of the water or of the memory.

He remembered the first time he’d woken up in the cabin. How he screamed, how scared he’d been. He called out to his parents. To his classmates. To Vincent. No one answered.

He was completely alone there. An old mat, a half-open suitcase, and a box of letters. Letters handwritten by Vincent. Like the ones in the beige box, but his handwriting was a bit inconsistent —like he had written them in a hurry. They didn’t explain how he’d gotten there, but they did tell him how to survive. Detailed instructions about his location, the current situation of the city, as well as how to learn to use a weapon, how to stay alert for forest mutants, how to collect uncontaminated water, how to cut wood to keep warm with the wood-burning stove, among others recommendations. 

Thirty-year-old Leonard had learned to cook, to shoot, to hide from the danger of being killed by Rainbanes, to fight, not to feel, and above all, not to cry. He had become a man in a body he didn’t recognize. He was a bearded, robust, severe man, but sometimes he still felt like he was eighteen —a vulnerable and frightened teen.

He often wondered how he’d survived so much. 

On rare occasions, he had a strange feeling that someone was nearby. Weapons and food supplies would suddenly appear, as if left for him on purpose. Sometimes he noticed markings on rocks —strange arrow-like symbols— guiding him away from dangerous paths. The help was both curious and unsettling.

Vin… His friend Vin… Had he always been with him, and he never knew?

And then the thought struck: What if Vin, the mutant... was Vincent?

The idea hit him hard. What if the boy who once kissed me, who saved me, who cares for me now... is the same one?

His chest trembled. His heart pounded. And it wasn’t the water. It was his body, awakening to a different kind of desire. 

Yes, his desire.

He’d never had a partner. It was impossible. He’d never lived the love he had dreamed of. He hadn’t had the chance to live life since he was eighteen.

Vin, the new Vin, was different. He had something wild, but also something deeply human. His gestures, his glances… they had gotten under Leonard’s skin more than he wanted to admit.

He felt warmth in his belly. He closed his eyes. Rested his head on his left hand. With the right, he slowly moved from his abdomen down to his groin.

He thought of him. Of Vincent. Of Vin. Were they the same person? Were they two? Did it matter?

He blushed. It wasn’t the first time he’d touched himself. He’d done it before, but this time...this time it was so provocative, so exciting. It wasn’t out of loneliness. It was out of love. Out of real desire.

However, when he tried to explore himself further, Leonard stopped. He doubted so much about continuing, and his conscience won over. 

“No... I shouldn’t do this,” he whispered.

He got out of the water, dressed in a rush. He ran to Vin, who was watching the entrance of the cave. He pretended nothing had happened and smiled genuinely.

“Y-your turn. The water feels great,” he said, trying to sound calm.

Vin raised an eyebrow —or as much as his face allowed.

“Tsk! Don’t waste time. We mutants don’t stink like you do. No sweat glands.”

“Come on...” Leonard insisted, smiling again. “Bathing won’t hurt you. I won’t peek, I promise. I’m not a pervert.”

Vin snorted, annoyed.

“Argh. Fine. But be careful.”

Leonard quickly walked away to give his friend privacy. The Rainbane found his behavior amusing, sighed grumpily, and went to the lagoon.

He entered the water and, as he’d said before, his body changed. His skin regained its color, his hair turned golden again. The skull-like face softened into a human one —it was indeed Vincent. The real one. A man with a firm body and a wounded gaze. He was attractive, radiant, beautiful.

He looked at his left hand. It was no longer a claw with tentacles that burst into uncontrolled flames. For a moment, he didn’t have to imagine that he used to look like this.

Then, as he bathed, his thoughts turned to Leonard. 

Leonard with him. Like two ordinary men. As lovers —yes, that’s what he wanted.

His body reacted as well, but unlike Leonard, he didn’t stop. His hands sought comfort, desire, release. He touched himself, thinking only of the person he loved so deeply, his Leo. Every now and then, he turned his head cautiously, afraid that Leonard might be nearby and catch a glimpse of him in such a vulnerable state.

Vincent murmured Leonard’s name between his moans. He knew more than anyone the “purity” of his friend, and he wondered what would’ve happened if he hadn’t become this, what that moment between them could’ve been like. Until guilt flooded him, pushing him to the edge, gasping with Leonard’s image in his mind.

“Leo…,” he said, taking a deep breath.

He could never be with him. Not in the way he wanted. Not with this cursed body —it would most likely hurt him. Besides, Leonard didn’t see him that way, and it was for the best.

**

An hour later, human and mutant were on their way to Eridanus.

Vin walked slowly, still not fully recovered, and Leonard noticed right away.

“Stop. Sit down for a moment.”

“I’m fine,” the gruff mutant said, putting on a brave front.

“Vin, don’t make me say it again!”

The mutant clicked his tongue but obeyed. He sat on the grass, impatient.

Leonard asked him to watch over their belongings for a moment.

“I won’t be long, I saw something a moment ago that might help us, wait here.”

He ran off as fast as he could and returned with a long, sturdy stick, which he carefully handed over.

“I want you to lean on this. I don’t want you overexerting yourself. You promised we’d get there together.”

Vin said nothing, simply took the stick, and Leonard helped him grip it like it was something fragile. Like that moment itself was too intimate.

And without another word, they remained silent, continuing on their path together. Vin wasn’t the type to say thank you, but holding that improvised cane and using it was more than enough for Leonard.