He was standing in front of me, that wide smile plastered on his face as if he was someone I was delighted to see. In truth, if I were to think about before, yes, that would be true. That smile was always his key to reach me, but since everything happened, that smile didn't come close to having the effect it would have had some time ago.

"So can we talk, you and I?"

"Give me one good reason for that," I retorted, turning around.

"I love you."

I laughed loudly. Well, it wasn't a normal laugh; it sounded more like something strange to hear on that morning and in that way. Then I turned to him and looked into his eyes; his smile disappeared from his face, and he focused on my lips.

"You're not worth the saliva I waste," I turned and started walking.

"And is he worth it?" he practically shouted.

I stopped.

For a moment, I evaluated what was going through his mind and mine as well. It was no secret what my interpretation of that phrase was, but what about his? Was it the same as mine? Or was he just playing to see how far I would go?

Silence.

"Is he better than me?" he spoke almost in a whisper.

I turn to look at him; his face was lost in some feeling that I couldn't identify at that moment. I was never good at making choices, and of course, my next choice would be one of the worst in my life. How do I know this? You don't need to be a psychic or a book writer to know that I wasn't made to do well. I'm more like the character who spends the entire book alone, and in the last chapters, some vagrant from God knows where appears and says he loves me.

Cliché. At the very least. So I approached him as I always did on such occasions and gave him a hug. It wasn't much, but it always helped him. Matheus was never good at making choices either, and like me, he was destined for continuous mistakes. Perhaps that's why I ended up falling in love with him some time ago.

It was raining. The sky was cloudy, and streaks of light crossed its expanse. I was soaked. I had gone out for a walk to think about my life when the rain caught me. I didn't care about it. I was walking down the practically empty street when I sat under a tree near my house. The cold water fell from the sky and touched the ground in a small natural show.

In the distance, a boy was running. He was as soaked as I was, but it seemed he didn't want to get wet. His white shirt was sticking to his body; his sneakers were as drenched as his beige shorts when he stopped under the same tree I was at. His hair was disheveled, and drops were running down through his hair. He looked at me, and I did the same. But there wasn't a single word.

Why?

The boy who was beside me was none other than Matheus Cassagrande, son of Alberto Casagrande, owner of a chain of supermarkets, department stores, shopping malls, and two buildings in the central area of the city. The same Casagrande who had humiliated me since the seventh grade, called me a faggot, a gazelle, a queer, a sissy, and many other names. The same one who let his little friends...

Silence.

But I preferred to remain in my silence. My parents never knew; I'm proud of them, they're great lawyers, but I don't know how they would receive the information about having a gay son. In fact, this has always been a fear I try not to have, but how can I not when they talk about grandchildren, ask about my girlfriends? It was for this reason that I was sitting under that tree.

Then I feel something behind me and look vaguely at him as he sits beside me. His hands were on my back, and he whispered:

"I'm sorry. Forgive me."

A lightning bolt.

My body was on the ground at a distance from the tree that was smoldering; the fire was burning slowly and being extinguished with the same intensity. It was split and lying on the ground. My eyes quickly searched for him, but he was where I least expected. His body was on top of mine; his arms were trying to protect me. His eyes carried an urgency, and fear showed through his wide eyes. Then he gave me a wide, embarrassed smile, and that smile made me forget that I had almost been struck by lightning.

"How I hate that smile," I thought to myself.

He looked into my eyes and, as he always did, his hands ran across my back, his face approached mine, and his breathing became warmer, and his heartbeats grew louder. Then his lips approached mine and...

My alarm went off, pulling me out of that trance and making me get up quickly toward my house. I didn't look back at any point, and when I reached the corner of my house, I bumped into someone and again went to the ground.

"This is becoming a habit, don't you think?"

Marxos smiled at me, his strong arms wrapped around me and pressed me against his body. I knew what that meant, and I also knew where that would lead, but his eyes were locked on mine, and I knew there was nothing more to deny.