“I’m not taking you back there,” he said grumpily.

“Well I’ll just go on my own, then, cause I need to return Maverick’s shirt.”

“You’re not afraid of going back there?” Frank asked me.

“No? Why would I be?”

Frank chuckled. “Did you forget about getting attacked?” Honestly, I almost had.

“These things happen,” I said with a shrug. “No use dwelling on it.”

He looked somewhere between amused and impressed, but didn’t say anything else as we drove.

Frank came up into Duke’s place when we got there and started retrieving weapons from their hiding spots. There was something like a slingshot in a couch cousin, several metallic balls in amongst the pebbles of a vase, and there was a large firearm behind a bookshelf.

Duke took some stuff as well but didn’t take the gun from his bedside drawer, surprisingly.

I sat down on the settee as I quietly watched them, and started thinking I should draw a comic about gangsters.

They left after a few minutes, and Duke gave me a chaste kiss and said, “leave everything to me,” as he shut the door.

Once I was all alone I got my tablet out to do some sketches. I had one thought - “trans gangster” - and then the entire story idea just flooded into me and I could hardly keep up with trying to make notes on my laptop before I forgot it.

At first I wanted to write something that could reflect my recent experiences, but I thought it might be boring if the protagonist wasn’t really interested in what’s happening, so I thought of a trans-man who’s the head of a gang.

The character, that I named Scratch, obviously wasn’t out as trans to any of his people, and to keep it extra hidden he was living a double life. He would use his female birth-name, Vanessa, and dress as a woman when meeting with other criminals and would pretend that Vanessa and Scratch were two different people, with Vanessa being the only person to ever have direct contact with Scatch.

Of course, the moment I had that all planned out, I wanted to make one other character know about Scratch and for this character to have a romance with him. But I didn’t want him knowing about Vanessa at all.

The ideas spiraled, and I googled a few things half-heartedly but mostly made it up as I went. The final comic would be a thirty page short story but with the possibility of continuing if I felt like it.

The story followed Scratch and his infatuation with an information broker that he met some years ago, before Scratch had even given himself a new name, and the info broker was the only one to see him as male immediately. So all this time has passed and Scratch is the head of an organisation and he only shows his true self to this other man, who knows everything about everyone but seems to know nothing about Scratch. It ends ambiguous on if the info broker also has feelings for Scratch or just wants to use him.

I named it “Tell Me More”.

It’s probably obvious already, but I’m still really pleased with the comic. That first day after thinking about it I’d already done the sketches for fifteen pages and written the entire script. I stepped out to smoke now and then but everytime I did I would get even more ideas and rush to finish my cigarette so I could get back to work.

I was frantically working on it until I finally tuckered myself out and fell asleep at around four in the morning.

I woke up to find myself in Duke’s arms as he carried me to the bedroom. I pretended to still be asleep so I could observe the situation, which is to say: see if he cops a feel. He didn’t, to my vague surprise. After putting me on the bed he just stroked my cheek and gave my forehead a kiss.

I pretended to wake up once he started getting changed.

“How was work, dear?” I asked drowsily.

“Sorry for waking you,” he apologised. “All the loose ends are dealt with now,” he assured me. “I just burned the whole rope.”

I hummed as I saw the blood-covered shirt he had taken off.

“I really didn’t think you would get hurt so badly…” he looked at me with guilty eyes. “But now it shouldn’t have to happen again.”

I was about to argue that I wasn’t very hurt, but then I put two and two together. “Wait… did you know those guys would attack me?”

He bit his lip and nodded. “I took you to Reggie’s on purpose, so that people would see us together. That way, someone would definitely try to use you against me, and if I publicly destroyed them it would send a message so no one else would mess with you.” He scratched his head. “When we were in the park together today, I just thought… I want you with me for a long time, so I need to make a safe space for you in my world.” 

I felt basically nothing after hearing that, but I might have been slightly impressed that he could plan something like that.

“Do you hate me now?” he asked quietly.

“I don’t think about you enough to hate you,” I answered flatly. His eyes twinkled a little. “But don’t do it again. If you need to drag me into your work then you should at least use me as a sacrifice and let me fucking die. It was such a cock-tease to just get slapped around.”

“There’s nothing wrong with a good cock-tease,” he said with a smirk.

“Speak for yourself, masochist. Some of us like gratification.” I yawned then, thinking that I might just go back to sleep.

Duke crawled onto the bed with me and I was surprised that he wasn’t clinging to me. Since he’d also done that when we were in the car, I realised it must be because I was injured so he didn’t want to hurt me.

I thought that was a little cute.

I laid my head on his chest and he stiffened. I looked at his skin and saw what looked like several thin scars along his neck. Also, there was a mole right under his chin. I wondered why I hadn’t noticed it before.

I shuffled up so my head was closer to Duke’s and gave him a kiss on the cheek. His eyes lit up as he turned and kissed me back.

I made a satisfied hum when we began making out.

He very gently turned us so I was laying on my back and he was on top of me, but the only part of us that was touching were our mouths. 

I wanted to get closer. 

I slid my arms around his back to try and pull him down into me, but he wouldn’t budge. Since he was being stubborn, I felt even more compelled.

I hooked my legs around his waist and used every ounce of my core body strength to heave myself off the bed and cling onto him. “Gotcha,” I said victoriously. 

Duke couldn’t stop giggling. He put an arm on my back to support me and then sat us both up. I started kissing him again and could feel his smile.

I cupped the back of his head, my fingers rubbing themselves into his short hair. I could feel his warmth, and it might have been because I was tired, but I felt more than willing to just melt into him.

The hand on my back slowly made its way down to my butt, only covered by boxer shorts since I’d taken my jeans off earlier. He squeezed, his fingers then kneading into me. I arched my back slightly, pushing myself further into his hand to tell him to continue.

His middle finger stoked up and down between my cheeks, stopping to circle at points.

He then used both hands, diving them below my underwear and taking a firm grasp of my skin.

At that moment I wouldn’t have minded going all the way. Hell, I really wanted to. The fact that he could easily just feel a bit further around and find out I didn’t have a dick wasn’t deterring me in the least. In fact, the only reason we didn’t go further then was because Duke was the one to stop us.

After giving me one final squeeze, he pulled his hands back and gently pulled my arms from around his neck.

“Not tonight,” he whispered. “I don’t want to get carried away while you’re hurt.” 

I wish that hadn’t upset me to hear quite as much as it did. Obviously I just agreed and laid back down to sleep, but I felt ridiculously dejected inside. It was a mixture of feelings really, because I knew I should probably be glad that it meant he still didn’t know I was trans, but I was so horny and ready for it that being told no was unsatisfying. I even had a moment of wondering if he just wasn’t that into me if he was going to turn me down.

It was all stupid thoughts that were pointless, but I couldn’t stop thinking them. It was his fault I got hurt and then his fault I got horny and yet he was turning me down anyway. I frowned. It wasn’t entirely his fault in either case, really, so I managed to reason my thoughts down.

I thought about going to the bathroom to jerk off but I couldn’t be bothered, so I just rolled onto my side to face away from Duke and stared into the dark room until I calmed down enough to sleep.