When he pulled up to the ordering window I scrambled over the gear-stick and leaned right over him to make the order. I got a Happy Meal for Duke because I figured it would be funny. I also made sure to remember the milkshake and fries for Frank's girlfriend.

I paid for everything, since I wasn't paying rent anymore so I didn't have to worry about money as much, and the look those two gave me when I did was priceless.

Well, Duke didn't have his wallet with him, and even though I was drunk I wasn't going to make the designated driver pay. That’s common courtesy.

Frank let us out of the car after Duke insisted that we could manage the walk back on our own. "Glad to see you're enjoying yourself like a regular person for once," Frank sighed, but I was the only one who heard him. "Keep an eye on him, alright?" he said to me before I could scamper after Duke. "I've never seen him that drunk before."

"You're cute," I told him, maybe a bit patronisingly, and gave him a pat on the head. "Tell your girlfriend I said "hi"!" I called as I ran off.

We ate while we walked.

"My throat hurts," Duke complained while drinking his apple juice.

"Yeah, cause you got choked," I laughed. "Frank choked me yesterday and my throat still hurts." It didn't, actually.

"He what?" Suddenly Duke seemed almost sober with anger.

"Calm down, he wasn't being mean or anything," I tried to explain. "I think he's a good big brother."

"He's good, yeah," Duke sighed, slumping against a wall for a moment. "He's so pushy, though," he complained. "Baron and Earl never bother me, so why does he have to?"

"What about, uh… Viscount?" I asked, wracking my drunken brain for the other peerage title.

"She talks to me sometimes. Never let me meet her kid, though." He frowned.

"You're an uncle?" I put an arm around his waist to help him keep walking.

"Yeah! Three times! Two nephews and a niece," he explained, apparently happy to talk about them.

"How old are they?"

"Um… baby age."

"Right, baby age."

We laughed about that enough to totally forget what we were talking about, and then we were staggering back inside the building his apartment was in and avoiding eye contact with the receptionist.

Once in the elevator we looked at each other and started right back up laughing again.

We had another drink each when we got inside. After that, I realised how totally out of it Duke had become (though I was sobering up after eating) so I decided to call it a night.

Duke gave a floppy nod of agreement and said he would shower before bed to sober up.

I was halfway through putting the bottles and glasses away when I heard a quiet "... Soot…" from the bathroom.

I walked in to find the guy slumped over the bathtub, completely naked but with his underwear still around his ankles, and his head under the stream of the shower.

I smiled while rolling my eyes and walked over to him. I pulled his underwear off the rest of the way so they wouldn't get wet and then started washing his hair.

I kept one hand on his forehead to keep the suds out of his eyes and hold his head up. He made a few soft moaning hums but didn't speak while I washed him. I'd done almost the exact same thing a hundred times before with my sisters, so I was feeling very fraternal during the whole experience.

"You can throw up if you need to," I told him while I rubbed his back.

"Thank you," he mumbled, sounding oddly apologetic. He didn't throw up, so I turned the water off after a few minutes.

I took two towels and put one around his body, then used the other to dry his hair. Since it was so short, it dried quickly.

He was holding the towel around himself like a blanket, and the look was almost cute.

"Okay," I breathed, crouching down next to him and setting about getting him dressed again. He was good enough to hold his arms up while I slid his shirt over his head.

When I was pulling his trunks up, I noticed that his crotch was waxed. In fact, his whole body looked waxed.

"Which side do you want your dick on?" I asked casually after finding that he didn't seem to fully fit just in the front.

"Whichever side faces you," he said with a self-satisfied smile.

"Adorable. I'm putting it left."

I was glad he managed to avoid getting hard while I messed about with his genitals. I actually had to stop and wonder if that was the first time I'd ever touched a flaccid dick. It felt so… none-threatening.

After pulling up his pyjama trousers I gave him a thumbs up. Instead of giving me one back, he lifted my hoodie and rubbed his head on my exposed chest.

I gasped/giggled at the tickling sensation. "What're you doing?" I asked, trying to push his face away but failing since his arms were around my waist and keeping me in place.

"You're so warm… and soft… I like you so much," he whispered like he was torn between despair and bliss.

"Yeah, yeah," I dismissed.

"I want to stay like this forever."

"Well, that'll make getting into bed difficult."

"Hm… then, five minutes?"

"I'll give you two."

"Good." He took a long breath and then seemed to fall asleep. I patiently counted to one-hundred-and-twenty in my head before announcing his time was up and waking him.

"Can you stand?" I asked once I'd disentangled myself and gotten to my feet. "I already proved that I can't lift you."

"But you always lift my spirits," he countered, his eyes mostly closed but mouth wide with a smile.

"Well, I drank your spirits, so this is the least I can do. Come on: one, two, three, up!" I held his hands and did my best to help him stand, but he pretty much did it by himself.

I kept hold of him as I guided him onto his bed, and then made sure to tuck him in nicely. I climbed in next to him and he immediately wriggled over to put his head on my chest.

I gently patted his head until he fell asleep.

Since I’ve been a perpetual heavy drinker for many years, I was almost entirely clear headed by then. Also, I wasn’t tired, which is why I delicately slid out from under Duke after a few minutes and decided to keep working on my comic.

I poured two glasses of water, leaving one on the bedside table for Duke and sipping from the other one myself.

Feeling vaguely concerned that he might throw up in his sleep and choke to death, I brought my tablet with me into the bedroom so I could keep an eye on him while I worked.

I scooted back onto the bed and, like a magnet, Duke rolled over to put his head on my lap. I genuinely couldn’t tell if he was still asleep or not, but I chose to ignore him as long as he stayed quiet.

It was all fun and games until my legs went completely numb.

I powered through it for a while, but eventually it was starting to distract me too much so I, once again, moved away from him and got off the bed.

I made a silent scream and clenched my fists when the pins and needles shot up my legs and I barely managed to stay standing. Well, it was less standing and more hopping from one foot to the other, to be honest.

I paced around on the balcony and smoked until my legs went back to normal.

That time when I got back on the bed I made sure to slip a pillow between Duke’s head and my thighs.

I wish I could say that after that I managed to stay comfortable until morning, but I got up several more times over the next however many hours, either to smoke or to pee or to refill my water. I also had to get my charger at one point.

Duke never made a peep.

I must have been looking at him an awful lot since I unconsciously made one of the background characters of my comic look like him.

Just for fun, I gave that character a cat t-shirt.

Then, just to be mean, I had him die off-screen.