“I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I shouldn’t be too late,” I smiled, handing Fern’s diaper bag to Rian as she hugged his leg, happy to see him again.

“Don’t you worry about it. Take your time and have fun,” Rian laughed, “You look nice. Much healthier than you have been in years. I think being alone has been healing for you. It’s nice to still have you in our lives. Clara was terrified we’d lose our son now that Kipling is in prison, and Dara ran out the way he did. It’s… really nice to still have our son and granddaughter.”

“You two had no knowledge or control over what they did to me. I guarantee that if Kip hadn’t been wrapped up in such horrible things, he’d still be with me. Dara can kiss the very recess of my ass though. Trying to make me feel bad for throwing him out. I regret ever getting close to him again. I don’t hate him, though. All I want is for him to find peace finally. Anyway, I need to head to the restaurant, so I’ll text you when I’m on my way back.”

“Have fun. I hope it goes well.”

“Me too.”

After giving Fern a kiss on her forehead, I headed to my car, setting the GPS to find the restaurant where I agreed to meet Kieran in Atlanta. We had spent the last two days texting occasionally, mostly about what was going on at work, and I found him to be silly and witty, making my heart flutter. He seemed to be kind and caring, but I was still cautious of him, knowing that I needed to take my time and get to know him because of Fern.

I parked a few spots down from the restaurant and checked myself in the reflection of my car windows, grateful I had asked Pat what to wear as I owned everything he suggested and looked incredibly nice today. Stuffing my hands in my pockets, I started down the road, and Seven Lamps came into view. I stood there for a moment before I caught sight of a taller man with curly blonde hair and realized it was Kieran. He was looking at the ground, his side to me, and I took a second to study him. Kieran was nowhere near as tall as Dara or Kipling, but was nearing six feet, his hair the same curls he had described piled on the top of his head. He was wearing tan pants with a denim shirt rolled to his elbows, and down both arms were bright tattoos, one full of butterflies and the other an anchor with waves and a small ship. He had broad shoulders, and when he finally looked over, I noticed how adorably freckled his face was, even with the light honey tone of his skin.

“Hi,” I called softly, and he walked over, a nervous smile on his face, “Did I make you wait long?”

“Not at all, I just got here,” he looked me over for a moment before his smile grew wider, “Is it okay… if I compliment you?”

“Of course, I don’t mind.”

“I don’t think Halley could have truly described to me how handsome you are. It’s… a lot, actually.”

“I was thinking the same thing about you,” I giggled, “It’s so good to meet you for real. Is it weird to properly introduce myself? I’m Ren Bell.”

“Kieran Leclair. I was thinking we could eat outside? It’s really nice today.”

“I’d love to.”

I followed Kieran until he opened the door, gesturing me through. I giggled quietly, and we approached the hostess stand, asking for an outdoor table. Luckily, she was able to give us one in a quiet corner away from others, and our waitress stopped by, both Kieran and I asking for whatever they had on draft.

“So, Halley did tell me you own the barbershop, but you aren’t actually a barber?” Kieran took a sip of his beer, and I nodded, fiddling with mine for a moment.

“I don’t know how comfortable you are with me spilling deep stuff that’s happened to me.”

“I won’t mind. Only share what you’re comfortable with.”

“My ex was arrested on some serious crimes. He’s serving life in prison, more than likely, or at least won’t be out for 25 years. He left me the barbershop and the house we shared, but I sold the house and decided to keep the shop. I was two months away from finishing cosmetology school when I lost Fern’s father and found out I was pregnant with her. I didn’t want to go back to school, so instead, I figured out how to manage the shop, and I’ve made it thrive. I’m very proud of it and happy I was able to bring Halley on. She’s my floor manager now. I was running the place with my ex, Dara, but he ran out on me. That’s about it.”

“Damn,” Kieran sighed, “I’m sorry. But it’s impressive you’ve put so much back together on your own.”

“It was a lot of work, but thank you,” I nodded as the waitress returned to take our order, “Oh. I’ll take the grilled mahi tacos.”

“Me too,” Kieran nodded, handing our menus over.

“So,” I took a sip of my beer, “Why did you leave Seattle?”

“Divorce,” he shrugged, “and I wanted to be near my family again.”

“Ah. You were married?”

“Is that a deal breaker?”

“Not at all, unless you plan to badmouth your ex.”

Kieran laughed, shaking his head and making me smile, “God, no. We grew apart, that’s all. Wanted different things from our marriage. I want to be a dad, and Shawn didn’t, that’s all. It was an incredibly sore point in our marriage, plus we got married at 19. I’ve been divorced for five years, I just had so much to do to get my salon going that I haven’t bothered to date. Then, I woke up one day and realized I was 30. That any of the things I wanted hadn’t happened, and I wasn’t getting any younger. Not that I’m old or anything. Life just flashed by quicker than I expected, and I guess I knew it was time to meet someone again. This is the first date I’ve gone on in 13 years. I’ve only been with Shawn.”

“Does my dating a few people, getting engaged to one, bother you?”

“Nope. I don’t care in the slightest.”

“Oh, thank god,” I sighed as our food was brought to the table and we started to eat, “Oh wait, what about Fern? She’s been a massive deal-breaker. I always have babysitters, my adoptive parents and friends, so I wouldn’t cancel dates unless Fern was sick. I just want to check.”

“I wouldn’t have agreed to go on this date if she were an issue to me, Ren,” Kieran shook his head, and I nodded, “I didn’t know you were adopted, too.”

“I’m not really. When I was 16, my birth Mum threw me out for being trans. I moved in with my ex-best friend's family, and they’ve been my parents ever since. I was terrified that dating both of their sons would ruin the relationship I had with them, but they constantly remind me that I’m their son and Fern is their granddaughter. We’re all they have left, honestly. Kip is in prison, and Dara took off for Tennessee 8 months ago, breaking up with me through a letter on Christmas just after I miscarried.”

“Jesus, you haven’t had it easy, have you?” He shot me a sad look, and I nodded, turning my gaze to the table.

Kieran carefully reached over and squeezed my hand, his fingers calloused but warm, and I hooked my index finger with his, not wanting to let go.

“Hey,” he whispered, and I raised my head, his welcoming green eyes locked entirely on me and making my heart thump, “It doesn’t change anything for me. Life is about lessons, and sometimes, they destroy us. But only you get to decide what you do after they happen, and you made such a beautiful choice in putting things back together and getting stronger. It’s an attractive trait to me.”

“I’ve always seemed to be picking things back up. Eddie was killed in the line of duty, Kip was arrested for horrific things, but he was a good person, and Dara was a narcissistic gaslighter who never really loved me. I hate talking badly about any of them. They taught me a lot about myself and to never settle. I’m just so tired of rebuilding. I don’t want to do it anymore. I’m not even 24, and I’ve restarted my life three times.”

“I’ve done it once, and I can’t imagine trying to keep doing it over and over. I’m proud of you.”

“Really?” I whispered, my eyes wide.

“Mhm.”

“I’m proud of you, too.”

“Thanks,” he laughed, “Also, I don’t like your birth mother. Who throws their kid out like that?”

“Eliza never wanted me, so once I came out, it was the perfect excuse to get rid of me.”

“I can understand that,” he nodded, “My birth parents abandoned me when I was 5. Literally, just left me in Piedmont Park. I was found by a really nice police officer when it was dark, and he took me to the station. I was put with a foster family that night, an emergency placement, and spent 2 years being bounced around until the Leclairs adopted me and changed my name to Kieran. It was the greatest day of my life, meeting my real parents, and I will always be their son. They are mad at me for not trying to settle down again, but they knew how important my career was to me and gave me grace and patience. Besides, Halley and Jo got married, so they got to go to that massive wedding. It was insane.”

“Wait, did they ever find your birth parents?” I gasped, accepting the second beer the waitress brought to me, Kieran taking his.

“Yeah. My dad was deported back to Brazil, and my mom is in New York. She was let out of prison on the day I turned 18, on charges of child abandonment, since that’s what they did. But they can’t find me because my real mom and dad changed my name to Kieran.”

“I won’t ask what it was before. Halley told me it’s not a good subject for you.”

“Thank you. I’m sure I’ll tell you at some point if we continue seeing each other. Now, since we spilled our guts, on to happy stuff. I’ve already gathered that we have the same taste in shows, music, and wine since we’ve talked about that. We also both like the color blue and tattoos. Do you have any?”

“I don’t, but I like seeing them on other people. I love your butterflies.”

“Thank you,” he laughed, still holding my hand, his thumb gently running down my finger, “They represent change. A butterfly starts as a caterpillar and has to be entirely remolded before it can burst from its cocoon. I picture myself that way. I had to entirely rebuild myself after the divorce, and I love the man I am now.”

“I’m the same. Maybe I’ll go get a pretty purple and teal butterfly on the nape of my neck.”

“If you want company, let me know,” he smiled, and I wiggled for a moment, “I’m gathering, and please tell me if I’m wrong, that you have an idea.”

“Second date next Monday if you want to see me again. It’ll be really intense but memorable. Come with me to get my first tattoo, then we can go get drinks.”

“How about we both get a tattoo? How late can I keep you?”

“My parents will happily take Fern overnight whenever I ask. She’s their tiny best friend. So even if we don’t stay out past 10 and I go home, she’ll be fine.”

“Then it sounds like a lovely date. Meet me at Marcels at 5 for dinner. Then we’ll go to Iron Palm to get our tattoos, and we can end the night at Havana.”

“That’s a nightclub. I do like to dance, but I get pretty touchy. Don’t want to scare you away after I have two cosmos.”

“I doubt you could,” he smiled, leaving cash on the table to cover our bill, “Let’s see. Do you want to go for a walk? There’s a super cool vinyl and book shop just down the road. I collect vinyls and first edition novels.”

“Really? Oh my god, let’s go.”

We left the restaurant, and Kieran held out his hand, another nervous smile on his face, until I laced our fingers, letting him guide me down the street.

“Bog bean? What a weird name,” I giggled when we reached the shop he wanted to show me, “But it’s amazing!”

“You get better by the minute,” he pulled me inside, my face burning.

We puttered around for over two hours, showing each other things that we found, the stack of vinyls that Kieran wanted steadily growing as I picked out books that caught my attention.

“You’re getting all of those?” I gasped as we sat in a small alcove on a tiny couch.

“God, no, but I pick what calls to me and then only get two at a time. I’m on the hunt for a specific vinyl, but I haven’t found it yet.”

“Which one?”

“Original pressing of Master of Reality by Black Sabbath.”

“Oh, I have that album on CD!”

“No way,” he gasped as I nodded quickly, “Seriously?”

“Duh. I wouldn’t lie. Actually,” I took out my phone and quickly texted Rian, asking a question that threw him for a moment before he confirmed what I knew, “Okay.”

“What is it?”

“Not telling.”

“Rude,” he laughed, smiling when I scooted closer to see what he was looking at.

“Oh. Oh my god,” I covered my mouth and Kieran tilted his head, “This is my favorite album of all time.”

“Mine too. But I already own it on vinyl, I just get excited when I see any copy of Mr. Morale.”

“I wouldn’t even be able to play it, but I’ve always loved the album art. It’s another one in my collection. I know most people listen to music digitally, hell, I do more than anything, but I’m a collector of CDs, the way you are with vinyl.”

“Do you want it?”

“No. I wouldn’t have any use for it.”

“I buy doubles of them if I can and hang up one of them. Are you sure?”

“Hm,” I took it carefully and nodded, adding it to the small stack of novels I was going to buy, “Yes. I’m buying it, though. It’ll be a memory of a wonderful first date.”

“Is the next promised?” Kieran whispered, and I lay my head on his shoulder, smiling when he covered my thigh with his hand.

“It is. If you want to see me again.”

“I do.”

There was a soft pressure on the top of my head, and I closed my eyes, realizing that he was kissing my hair. I slowly tilted my head back and pressed my lips to his cheek, Kieran’s entire face glowing red by the time I moved away.

“This was exactly what I was looking for,” I whispered.

“Me too,” he whispered back.

Ending our date in a beautiful used book and vinyl shop was far more romantic to me than it had any right to be, but finding someone who enjoyed collecting lesser-used media the way I did meant everything, and I was forever grateful to Halley for introducing Kieran and me.