That day, the place felt so quiet…
Those silent stones, swallowed by darkness, felt quiet in a terrifying way.
But inside, my heart pounded, my breath shattered as fear crept in.
My eyes nearly burst from their sockets as I stared, hard, at the opening above.

“The sound of breathing…”

Something was coming.
“I was afraid I’d lose myself in that place…”
But deep within me, something refused to let go.
Something clung to life—
to the future…
or maybe to stand against it.

Inside me, a crimson thread burned—
binding me to a spark of resistance, of survival.

Then came the moment.
The moment everything froze.
I stared, terrified, at the opening above…
Those eyes looked down—
I couldn’t make out much,
but they felt cruel.
Empty.
Eyes without memory.
Eyes as black as void… without mercy.

Fear wrapped around me like cold metal.
But…
“How…”
I caught my breath.
“How could those eyes from the past disappear… as if they never existed?”

I stared into the eyes that once smiled at me.
And I asked myself,
“Should I scream your name?”
But deep inside—
or maybe from the echoes within—
time seemed to stop…
The moment you appeared.
Wearing a Volkermord body.

Memories crashed down like a storm.
The urge to cry.
The urge to stand tall.
The aching need to touch your face and say:
“This is me… It’s me, Emma.”

My wide eyes, still soft with childhood, locked onto you.
Memories flashed like silent lightning between us.

The moment froze—
a true glimpse into what those once-gentle eyes were hiding.
Or maybe…
a search for the past in the present.
A search for the human behind the monster.

My thoughts raced.
I whispered to myself.
No words aloud—
but your eyes… your look… said everything.

Deep in my chest, I felt it—
like I was speaking to you again.
Like we used to.

Like my hand was still wrapped in yours,
from that very first day—
as if no time had passed at all.

“You were staring into the light that day… even at five years old.
You stared with such strength. Everyone stared at the light—
but I was holding your hand tightly,
and I stared into your eyes.
Because I saw the light reflected there.
While everyone else trembled, my fear disappeared.
Because I never saw a light brighter than yours—
a light like a star, fierce and beautiful.
So I held your hand… and never let go.
Do you remember that?”

In the depths of my being—
no words were spoken aloud.
Only the voice of memory,
echoing from within.

I spoke to myself as the suffocating silence wrapped tightly around me.
The fear crept in—
What if death had always been hiding in your eyes?

But where are you now?

That gentle boy from the past… he no longer exists.
Or maybe—just maybe—beneath the monster’s mask,
the boy still sits quietly, hugging himself in the dark.

But you were never truly soft.
You never feared standing tall or facing what scared you.
You were always the sharpest observer,
the one whose will never broke—
whose eyes always shimmered with rebellion.

And now—
as I look into those same eyes, hollow and unfamiliar,
as if time itself has frozen still—
I begin to remember.
I begin to analyze.
And strangely…
I smile—right there, in the middle of my fear.

It feels like sitting with yourself just before the end—
a final kindness to your soul.
To make peace with the past.
To let even the darkest memories become a safe place—
a shelter in hesitation,
a refuge when fear strikes.

I smiled faintly, my eyes locked onto you—
a smile of fear… and longing.

I almost let a stupid joke slip out.
I remembered—
Our friend was the one who always hid his fear behind laughter best.

Time cracked.
I felt like I was sinking into my own voice—
or maybe drowning in memories.
Memories that gave my existence meaning.
Memories like a red thread connecting me to those I hold dear.

Time distorted, the moment you appeared.
I didn’t see a monster.
I saw a memory.
The boy I clung to the first time fear gripped me.

And so, the quiet conversation began inside—
a long, unheard monologue.

Was I searching for something?
No—
I just wish it were the same for you too.

That maybe—just for a second—
the lost memories would strike you like lightning.
That you would awaken.
That you’d smile at me the way you used to—
That your eyes would return to what they once were.
Not hollow…
but two pearls of rebellion
staring down the masters of Atlas.
Without fear for the future.

I sank deeper—
deeper still—
as I stood there, motionless, trembling.
My limbs shook.
Strands of my hair caught the air like drifting threads.
Telling myself stories from the past.
As if I were speaking to you—
even though you no longer remember me.
Even though you no longer recognized my face.

“Dear Darius,
I don’t think I’ve ever called you ‘dear’ before.
But today… I want to.

I’m standing in front of you now, staring—
and yet, I can’t reach you.

I’m looking at a Volkermord body.
And even though it hurts to say it…
I need to be honest with you,
this form doesn’t suit you.
It never did.

So may I ask you something?
Would you come back to who you used to be?

I don’t want to fear you.
I never wanted that.

I got used to feeling safe beside you.
I used to borrow your strength—
to stand tall in front of the others,
while listening to their silly jokes.
The ones that barely made me laugh.

You remember that, don’t you?
You always laughed when you heard a joke.
You never told them—
but I could feel you wanted to say, ‘Don’t be afraid. I’m here.’

So I said it for you.
I felt like I had to.
Like I needed to be the older sister they could all cling to—
just like I clung to your hand that first day.

Do you remember?

It’s still embarrassing to admit—
but your hand was warm… in a beautiful way.
And I never wanted to let go.

So I’ll keep looking ahead,
toward a future where I’ll hold your hand again—
and smile.
A real smile.
One so bright it’ll make you admit—
that maybe, just once…
you felt something for me.

But this world is cruel.

And in all this darkness…
Inside this maze we’ve lived in since the beginning—
since the moment we became aware—
we met, by chance, in the daylight of today.

Dear Darius… where did your light go?

I was never used to looking at you this way.

I’m afraid you can’t hear me…
but I want you to listen—
at least until the very end.

Didn’t we rebel so we could live?
Do you remember the choice we made?

Didn’t we struggle together?

Didn’t it matter to you too?

Didn’t we whisper in the dark?
Didn’t we laugh, cling to each other,
face fear together?
Didn’t we wipe away each other’s tears?

Don’t you remember how you used to stare at my hair?

I’m here now.
But you don’t see me, do you?
You don’t remember me…”

Even in fear, I search for that spark of hope—
that the Darius I once knew
is still buried deep inside.

Where are you now…?
It’s been so long.
Don’t be afraid.
I still remember you.
Even if you’ve forgotten me.

I won’t be angry.
I won’t scream at you for forgetting.

I know you’re there,
alone in the dark.
So please…
don’t die alone.
Don’t face the darkness alone.
Let’s hold on to each other.

And then—
as if time blinked backward—
every day feels like false hope
as I look into your burning eyes.

It snaps me out of my daze.

My eyes go wide—
filled with sorrow and fear.

Because I know it’s just a fragile hope.
A single thread.
It doesn’t mean you’ll remember me.
It doesn’t mean anything will change.

But the real fear—
isn’t that you forgot me.
It’s that I might lose myself in you—
in this version of you that devours all fear.

And now…
there’s nothing left to do,
except hold on to hope
that maybe—just maybe—
you’ll catch a glimpse
of the red thread that binds us still.

That despite the years lost to time…
not everything from the past has vanished.

Darkness is no longer the only thing surrounding us.
It’s not just the fear I felt upon seeing you again,
or the dread in your hollow eyes.

Now…
there are whispers.
Flickers of the past glowing faintly in the distance.

Laughter.
Screams.
Running side by side.
Hiding.
Shouting.
Dreaming of stars—
as if they were sparks of hope in the darkness we lived in.

That long, frozen stare between us…
It didn’t feel like a reunion.
It felt like a nightmare,
strangely decorated with soft glimmers of memory.
Memories that were erased—
but not completely.

Because even when memories are lost from the mind…
they cling to the heart.

That is my hope,
That you are still there, somewhere deep inside.
That something is still alive.
Still beating.
Still screaming,
refusing to forget.

And if you’ve forgotten—
then something in you must still want to remember.

Because some things…
should never be forgotten.

I often ask myself—
Was I afraid of dying, that moment?

No…
I was afraid of losing the memories of the one person
whose presence kept me alive.
The one who gave me something to hold on to.
The one who made survival feel worth it.

So even if you don’t remember me, Darius…
I will always search.
Search for a flicker of hope behind that monster’s mask.
I will search for the human inside you…
even if it means becoming a monster myself.                                                                                                                      That I’ll save you, like you saved me back then.