Small streams of sunlight broke through the main window, illuminating the furry, beached-whale-like mass that was known as Gabu-Babu. A high-pitched nasal whistle accompanied his every inhale as his chest and stomach, which had no real discernible division, sluggishly rose and fell.

A scattered ring of discarded beer cans encircled his semi-conscious form, half-crushed and leaking the last few drips of beer onto my previously clean living room floor.

"Can’t you put them in the bin?" I complained, maneuvering around the mess as I made my way to the kitchen. "At least then, the floor wouldn’t get sticky."

With an effort-laden groan, Gabu sat up. "Bin’s full."

"So empty it."

"I can’t go outside!" he squawked, waving his stubby arms. "That witch across the street keeps hitting me with her broom! It’s animal abuse, I tell you. Animal abuse!"

"What animal are you again?" I asked, stifling a yawn. "Bear cat? Coon dog?"

"I’m Gabu-Babu!" he replied, finally standing up on his two back legs. "Magical mascot of Team Heart!"

He said it as though I had never heard the phrase before. As a back-row member of the group, I was very much aware of who he was. More importantly, I knew what he was right now—my deadbeat roommate who ate and drank everything in sight.

"They’re hiring at the amusement park, you know. You could greet the children," I advised as I started a kettle on the stove.

"And let their sticky, candy-covered fingers touch me?" he gasped, his ringed tail poofing. "Do I look like a common plushie to you?!"

"Always an excuse…" I muttered, opening a kitchen cabinet and pulling out another cup of plant-based ramen. "Hey, where’s my Cupmen?"

"In the bathroom," he mumbled, flopping on his back.

"Why is it… Oh, never mind." I stepped over him and retrieved my prized miniature. "Okay, Stoneheart. Time to get to work!"

Stoneheart was a 1/36-sized version of me, back in my magical girl days. She was dressed in my pink jumpsuit, complete with a pink ponytail bow and giant padded gloves. While the pose was a little dramatic—what with her pulling herself up over the cliff that was my ramen cup—she was balanced enough to complete her task: holding the lid in place until I could consume my breakfast.

“Sonea wants you to stop by the school,” Gabu said, scratching his left bear ear. “She said it’s important.”

“Hmm… I’m kinda busy… I got a job today. Maybe next week.”

“You’re going to stand her up again?”

“What do you mean? I didn’t stand her up.”

He coughed uncomfortably. “Oh, well, you didn’t go to see her last week, so…”

“Just how many times did she call?”

“Only two or three times last week. Ah, and once this morning,” he replied as he writhed on the floor. “You should get one of those wire scratching posts. I have this itch I just can’t–”

“Why didn’t you tell me the first time she called?”

“I forgot. You know I can’t remember anything without coffee!”

I sighed and shoved a few strands of noodles into my mouth. “Maybe I’ll get lucky and find a coffee maker on-site today. It’s an office cleanout.”

“Why don’t you just buy one?”

After swallowing my food, I replied, “That would require money. You don’t happen to have any, do you?”

“Uh… well, aren’t we due for a deposit?” he asked, nervously patting his back.

I pulled out my phone, sifting through a long list of spam. “This month’s royalties come to a whopping $13.74. I’m not sure I’d trust a new coffee maker at that price.”

Gabu snorted. “Weren’t we supposed to split 100% of the profits?”

“Yes, after expenses, taxes, payroll, interest on loans, shareholder dividends, and reparations for collateral damage sustained.”

“The city should be thanking us, not charging us!” Gabu rolled onto his stomach in order to stand up. “Taking your transformation wands away until they get their share. Perhaps they are the real villains in all this.”

“Don’t let IceHeart or her constituents hear you talking like that,” I whispered. “The last thing we need is to cause trouble with the City Council again.”

“Which reminds me!” Gabo stomped his foot, heedless of my warning. “When is Victoria going to get your rights back to use your likeness? Magikku Cleanup would make more sense if you were allowed to be on the logo.”

“The next hearing is scheduled late next month,” I mumbled as I started to stir my noodles. “I’m not holding my breath, though. It’s a junk removal service and a profit-based company. Not seen as something heroic by virtue.”

“Except you aren’t turning a profit,” Gabu noted as he came into the kitchen, his nose quivering. “Not a real one, anyway.”

I held onto my ramen cup with both hands. “Don’t even think about stealing this one,” I warned. “It’s vegetarian. If you want one, make your own.”

The cup shook slightly, but my grip was stronger than his telekinetic attempts to dislodge it.

“But it tastes better when you make it,” he whined.

“Because I know to wait for the noodles to soften,” I replied. “With patience, you too can master the art of instant ramen.”

“Oxymoron right there,” he muttered, pulling down a beef-flavored cup from the cabinet with his mind.

“No, just a time relativity.”

After he had successfully manipulated the kettle to dump its contents into his cup, he took his seat at the table across from me.

“Want to tag along today?” I asked around another mouthful of noodles.

“I’m very busy this morning,” he replied, avoiding eye contact.

“That’s alright. The new building owner won’t be there to meet me until 2 pm.”

Gabu froze, his eyes darting back and forth. “Did I say this morning? I meant the whole day.”

“Right, right.” After a final slurp, I added, “Maybe I can catch Sonea during her lunch break beforehand. She’ll probably be in that super secret lab of hers.”

Gabu’s ears twitched, and for a moment, I thought I had finally convinced him to leave our lair. However, he must have remembered all the young children in the school’s attached nursery. “Have fun without me!”

“Always do,” I said before finishing off my broth.

Lunacrest Academy was a prestigious and well-funded private school renowned for its grand campus, elite student body, and for producing future leaders. While critics called it ‘Ludicrous Academy,’ none could argue its outcomes. If you were rich and/or lucky enough to successfully enroll your darling, they were practically guaranteed life on a silver platter.

Please note that I am not an alum.

As I approached the ivory front gate, hidden security cameras whirred to life, scanning me from head to toe. A few moments later, they snapped back into place, some disappearing entirely behind inconspicuous shutters. The gate unlocked automatically, swinging both sides open in a smooth, silent motion.

"Who's that?" a young girl called from the nearby playground. "Isn't that one of Professor Sonea’s friends?"

"Aww, it’s just one of the back rows," the boy next to her said, slumping onto a bench. “Nothing special there. Her pose was just showing off her guns. Anyone can do that.”

“Not even both of them,” a second boy asserted. “Just the left one.”

“That’s the good one,” I called out. “I’m left-handed.”

The two boys hesitated, exchanging glances. Then, after a moment of whispering, the second one stepped forward.

"Oh yeah? I bet you’re not that strong anymore."

"What makes you say that?" I asked, shifting my gaze toward the first boy, who was trying but failing to hide a terrible grin behind his hand.

Ah. That Tommy. Setting up the new kid, huh?

"You’re old now," the second boy declared, puffing up his chest. "And you can’t even transform." He lifted his arm. "I’m challenging you to an arm wrestling match!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Alright. Set the conditions."

The kid hesitated. "Uh..."

"How about the picnic table over there?" I suggested, nodding toward a sturdy wooden bench. More kids started to gather, their excitement growing as the second boy fidgeted.

"On second thought..."

"It’s no trouble." I sat down and rested my elbow on the table. "Whenever you’re ready."

Despite his increasing reluctance, the boy swallowed hard and sat across from me. We locked hands.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Yes," he said, though his voice had lost its confidence.

A chorus of "Go!" erupted from the children, and I pretended to struggle for a moment before dramatically letting my arm collapse beneath his.

"Hey!" I yelped with false surprise. "No fair! How did you beat me?"

The boy blinked in shock, looking around as the other kids cheered for him, save for Tommy, who looked less than pleased. Still, he was in no position to argue with the result.

"Remember to use your strength to serve those in need," I advised in a whisper. "And don’t bite off more than you can chew."

"Yes, ma’am," the boy mumbled before scurrying off. "Thank you, ma’am!" he called as an afterthought.

A familiar laugh rang out from behind me.

“My word, he called you m’am not once, but twice!” Sonea said with a self-deprecating chuckle. “Are we really old enough for such a slur?”

I turned to see her standing in front of the main building, arms crossed, her long white lab coat billowing slightly in a sudden breeze.

"Not helping," I muttered, rubbing my forehead.

Sonea smirked, adjusting her glasses with a pointed index finger. "Come inside. We need to talk."