I did my best to follow his commands, worried what might happen if I didn’t. I steadied my breath and waited. Nothing seemed to be happening, and I was ready to declare the whole thing a hoax when it hit me. I shiver ran down my spine and I felt a wave of energy flow from my head through fingertips and toes. It lingered for a scant few seconds before retreating.

The doctor opened his eyes which must have slipped shut at some point. When his eyes landed on me he seemed to ponder something. “You don’t seem to have much magic considering what I had been expecting, but there does seem to be something blocking its flow. I’m inclined to leave it in place. These things often have a reason, but the decision falls with Director Moreno. He wanted to see you himself. I’ll call up and see when he’ll arrive, I’m sure you can be dismissed after that.”

“Thank you,” I offered.

“Of course, I’ll be back with you shortly.” He left the room, the door clicking shut as it closed.

“Looks like this will be more painful than I thought,” Holland grumbled.

“What do you mean?”

“Well I know that your magic isn’t standard. I experienced it myself, and it was,” he hesitated. “It was like a storm, not a drizzle.”

“Well you heard him, something’s blocking it. If we leave it in place, then everything is solved.”

He shook his head. “No, the seal is breaking and your magic is leaking out with it. Whether you like it or not your magic is coming, how quickly is a matter of when the seal breaks. It will buy you time, but you’ll never have your human life back. Besides that, if Anthony finds something under the seal he doesn’t like, well you know his opinions.”

“Much like yours I assume.”

He shrugged, “If you have a demon inside you and that’s what’s generating the magic then we need to eliminate you or face world ending consequences. If it isn’t a demon, then execution might be too harsh. That doesn't mean I want you living in my house any longer though.”

“I don’t want to be in your house either,” I huffed, “and it’s not a demon.”

“How can you be so sure? You don’t remember that voice. That thing.” He said it with such disgust I reeled back. “Either way Anthony will get to the bottom of it. He’ll keep my team safe, and that's all that matters to me.”

God he’s so insensitive. All he talks about is his team, but what about me? Don’t I deserve to be safe too? Don’t I deserve to be happy? For the first time since I woke up on that unfamiliar couch, I felt sadness overtaking the raging flames of fury. God, I’m screwed. How am I ever going to make a future for myself? I don’t even know where to go now. I don’t even know what magic is. I’m so lost.

The click of the door snapped me out of my thoughts. Doctor Lee walked back in, accompanied by another man. An imposing blonde, in an impeccable green suit. His brown eyes pierced me, so similar to a familiar psychic yet cold and hard unlike Serena’s which constantly burn with emotion.

“This is Director Moreno. He’ll be performing the same procedure as before, so just relax. It should only take a few seconds.”

I nodded, bracing myself for the wave of energy. Instead something crashed into me. It was energy, but not cool and meticulous, it was aggressive and invasive. It ravaged through my body, not just skimming the surface but racing straight towards my soul. It ripped and tore. It burned. It hurt. It was agonizing.

A scream bubbled up from my throat as the monstrous enemy destroyed me, looking for something. I grabbed at my clothes, trying desperately to grab onto the razor sharp magic which was tearing me apart, but I couldn’t grab hold of it. Tears welled in my eyes and I felt fear like never before then something shattered. Energy exploded out of me, nearly ripping me apart with sheer force. This energy wasn’t Anothy’s, however, it was mine. 

A storm, Holland had called it. Just like he said, my magic whipped around like a torrent, unbridled and finally free. It swelled with anger and hunger for vengeance. It sought out the wielder of the toxic magic which clawed at my soul. I could see the dirty yellow swirls rushing towards Director Moreno, and I watched on not in horror but with satisfaction.

The yellow swept him away, and I was ready to taste victory when the storm that encased him exploded with thorny red. His magic fought back, nearly overpowering mine, but I was stronger. I would kill him.

But then a leafy green emerged and a militant navy and they all began to press down on me, shoving my magic back into the vessel it came from. I gasped as the magic retreated and I slid off the table, my cheek landing on the cold, hard floor. 

My breaths came in labored gasps, my vision swam and my ears rang, but I could just barely make out voices.

“What the hell Anthony?! That seal was all we had! It was the only chance we had of teaching her control, of controlling her.”

“It needed to go. I had to know if she was a threat.”

“Well you sure did a bang up job. You could barely contain her. Now what the hell are we going to do?! Are you really going to kill her?!”

“No, she’ll be useful, and I believe she can be taught control.”

“You’re kidding me. There’s no way.”

“I’m assigning her to your team.”

“You’re kidding,” Holland repeated. “You trust her to be with your sister?! She’ll kill her. She hates her.”

“I gave my orders and you will obey. Trust that I know what I’m doing when I say she has value.”

Holland huffed, “whatever. It’s your funeral. Oh wait, I’m sorry, it’ll be Serena’s funeral.”

A rough hand pulled me off the floor as my world continued to reel. I felt nauseous. Don’t worry, I’ll keep us safe. A voice in my head. A voice that didn’t belong to me. 

Who are you? A part of my brain said I should be more alarmed, but my instincts told me I could trust her. I wasn't even sure how I knew the ethereal voice was a woman, it didn’t sound particularly masculine or feminine, but I just knew. She felt so familiar to me.

I’m you. 

***

My head was still reeling on the car ride back and my brain was running overcapacity. For some reason there was this voice in my head. For some reason the whole world was filled with all these colors I have never seen before. For some reason I have to go back to the godforsaken house where Serena resides. Serena, the sister of that horrible man. My soul still felt raw. It felt tainted, like I had been violated on the deepest level imaginable. 

I rubbed my hand on my heart, trying to soothe the ache. Fuck. Fuck, what was that? I don’t… I don’t ever want to experience that again.

I’ll make sure we won’t. The seal kept me from protecting us then, but I assure you, it will never happen again.

Yeah. The voice is still there. I rubbed my fingers against my temples, praying for everything to stop. For everything to just go back to normal. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know who I am. I don’t understand this stupid magic stuff, and I feel so alone.

All I want is to go home. But I don’t have a home. I never did. Not when I lived with my parents, not when I lived in the apartment, and definitely not now. I don’t even have any friends, or notable ex-girlfriends. I’m just alone. Always alone. Always lost.

The pain in my chest was suffocating. All the emotions building up, screaming to get out, but I held back tears. Even if I cried it wouldn’t be enough. I would still be here. Stille be alone.

We’re never alone.

I almost laughed at how comforted I felt. I must be going crazy, taking comfort from the voice in my head. 

We aren’t crazy.

I rubbed at my temples again, this time more aggressively, hoping to make the world go back to normal.

This is normal.

“Shut up!”

Holland jolted in behind the wheel. “What?! I wasn’t even saying anything?!” 

I didn’t respond, just turned away and focused all my attention on the trees rushing past the window.

We will be okay. I set aside my apprehension and just let that instinctual sense of comfort wash over me as the car continued careening towards the house which was supposed to become my home.