“Mell tells me you generally go to all of his fights?” I ask as I finish my sandwich. It was quiet between the three of us for a moment as we focused on eating. Mell is still focused on that task, already finishing his third sandwich. Initially when Siobhan brought out an entire plate full of eight sandwiches I thought it was overkill but I forgot how much Mell can eat.

“That I do,” Siobhan says with a proud grin, “But recently I’ve had this massive headache on me, as you’ve heard.” She frowns. “Makes crowds hard to handle so I haven’t been going. Barely been leaving the house as is.”

I’m about to respond when we hear the front door open and close. “Ah, that’d be yer father,” Siobhan says to Mell with a tight smile and stands. She hurries out of the dining room and I can barely hear two people talking in the front of the house, Siobhan’s voice and a man’s voice. I can’t make out what they’re saying but I stand as well, nervous and wanting to make a good first impression.

“Lanie, I’d like you to meet my husband Sean,” Siobhan says as she comes back into the room with a tall man who looks just like Mell, but older and with a beard and a short haircut instead of a mohawk like Mell has. 

“Mr. O’Malley,” Mr. O’Malley corrects her with a gruff voice and thick Irish accent. He holds out a hand to shake and looks at me with uncertainty in his eyes, like he’s suspicious of me. My stomach twists itself into knots.

I take his hand and he grips it so hard that I wince. Lola once told me she thought people who do this kind of thing use it as a power play. “Nice to meet you,” I say nervously, only managing a moment of eye contact before looking down at the ground.

Mr. O’Malley releases my hand and I hold it close to my chest with my other hand, willing it to stop hurting. “Mell mentioned he knew you from the gym but you can’t handle a handshake?” He asks, and I feel myself wanting to melt into the floor.

“Dad,” Mell says in a warning tone, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, “Lanie is a great person. Can you be nice, please?”

“I liked Stephanie,” Mr. O’Malley says, “You need to find a girl like her. Not some confused fruitcake in a velvet dress.”

“Sean!” Siobhan snaps, “Come now, Lanie is a wonderful lass. You don’t even know her.”

The silver lining to this terrible situation I’ve suddenly found myself in is that whenever Siobhan refers to me by anything female, my heart feels lighter and I feel amazing. Right now it’s a fleeting feeling since I’m also being called a ‘confused fruitcake’, but it’s a good feeling nonetheless. 

“Also Stephanie is a dude now,” Mell says to his father, keeping his composure, “So he’s trans, too. You wouldn’t even recognize him anymore. He came back a few days ago, he’s actually staying with me and the twins right now.”

Mr. O’Malley’s eyebrows fly up and he shuts his mouth, not having a retort for that. Instead he just trudges out of the room. 

“Are ye okay?” Siobhan asks the two of us in a quiet tone after he leaves, rubbing my arm comfortingly, “I’m sorry ‘bout him.”

“I don’t know why you stay with him,” Mell mutters, “Even just being around him can’t be good for your headaches and you both sleep in separate rooms most nights anyway.”

Siobhan sighs but doesn’t respond. Instead she presses her hands to her temples and squeezes her eyes shut, biting her lip in pain. Mell pulls her into a gentle hug. “It’s okay Ma,” He says.

Siobhan nods and smiles up at him, tapping his cheek lightly with her hand before clearing her throat. “Sorry lass,” She says sincerely to me.

I shake my head, but I’m still clutching at my hand. “It’s fine,” I say quietly. “Um… Thank you for standing up for me,” I add.

“You’re a good girl,” Siobhan insists, and my heart soars again.

“Actually Ma, Lanie is–” Mell starts to correct his mother on my pronouns but I stop him with a tap on his arm and shake my head. He gives me a confused look.

“Everything you’ve called me has been incredibly comforting,” I say to Siobhan, my voice wavering nervously as I speak, “I wasn’t sure if I deserved to be called a woman but… You really made me feel at home and like those terms belong to me.” I finally lower my hands to my sides and look at Mell. “I think I want to go by female pronouns from now on.”

Mell rubs my back and grins at me. “So ‘she’ and ‘her’?” He asks for clarification.

“Yeah…” I say, nodding, “Yeah, I think I like that.” I feel like I’m finally beginning to be at peace with the inner turmoil surrounding which pronouns feel the most comfortable for me. 

Siobhan looks slightly confused. “Were you not a lass to begin with?” She asks.

“Uh,” Mell says, scratching the back of his neck as he thinks, “Lanie was going by nonbinary pronouns for a while.”

“Dunno what that means,” Siobhan says with a shrug, “But alright.” She grins at me. It makes me happy that she just accepts me as I am without too much question, at least after her question about whether or not I’m on hormones. I smile a genuine smile back at her.

There’s still a massive pit in my stomach from my interaction with Mr. O’Malley, though. I hug my arms around myself and frown, looking at the ground. Mell kisses my cheek and squeezes my side. “Should we go home?” He asks softly. 

“I’m okay,” I say unconvincingly. I really don’t want to be rude and leave just because my feelings are hurt.

Siobhan rubs her temples again. “I should get some rest anyway,” She says wearily, “I’ve got a rather nasty headache on me.”

“We’ll let you rest, Ma,” Mell says gently to her, giving her a hug, “I’ll take you to the doctor, just let me know when your appointment is once you know.”

Siobhan squeezes Mell tight as she hugs him. “I’ll let you know. Lanie, was a pleasure meeting you.” She hurries forward to give me a hug as well.

I laugh lightly and hug her back. She gives such comforting hugs. “You too, Siobhan. Thank you for everything.” I give her a warm smile. 

She walks us to the front door and waves at us until we hop into the truck and drive away. I stop waving back and turn back to look at Mell as I lose sight of her to see his brow furrowed, chewing on his bottom lip. 

“Are you okay?” I ask, concerned.

Mell sighs as he turns down a side street. “Can’t stand my old man,” He says, his voice even and low. He doesn’t seem to get more than slightly irritated easily but right now he looks pretty upset. “Don’t know why Ma is still with him. She’s so… I don’t know. I think she thinks she can change his ways. She can’t.”

“Is… Is he always like that?” I ask hesitantly, not wanting to upset Mell anymore than he already is. “I wasn’t prepared for blatant transphobia. You should’ve warned me.” I look at him and his hurt expression and immediately feel bad for blaming him for his Dad’s behavior. “Sorry, I’m just shaken,” I apologize quietly.

Mell shakes his head. “It’s okay,” He mutters, “I didn’t know he’d be like that with you. I’m sorry. I would’ve warned you if I’d known.” He curses as someone cuts us off in traffic, making Mell slam on the breaks. His arm flies out in front of me to keep me safe as we lurch forward. 

“Are you alright?” He asks as he starts driving again, moving both hands back to the steering wheel. 

“Yeah,” I say breathlessly, startled by what had just happened, “I’m good. Thanks. So… You had no idea your dad is transphobic? How?”

Mell thinks for a moment. “I… Well, it’s never come up before.” He shrugs. “He’s never even interacted with anyone trans until today.”

I frown and say nothing. That makes sense, I guess, but it was still a lot to handle. 

“I really am sorry Lanie, I promise I would have told you if I knew it would be a problem.” Mell sounds incredibly apologetic. 

“It’s fine,” I say, brushing my hair out of my face. I decide to focus on something positive, wanting to get off of this subject. “So, what if I had a small gender reveal party for my new pronouns?” I grin at him.

Mell glances over at me quickly before looking back at the road, a small smile on his face. “That sounds like it’d be fun,” He says with a light chuckle, “I like that idea. Who would be invited?”

I shrug. “I don’t have many friends so maybe like…” I pause to think. “You, Lola, Jackke?”

“What about Squid?” Mell asks innocently. 

I left Squid out on purpose. “I don’t think so,” I say uncomfortably, “He doesn’t seem to like me very much.”

“Hmm,” Mell hums with a frown, “That’s not what he told me.”

This annoys me. I don’t get why Mell doesn’t believe me when I say Squid was rude to me at his fight. I sink down in the passenger seat. “Well you weren’t there when he called me a slur and misgendered me,” I grumble defensively.

Mell looks over at me. “I know he seems like a lot to handle but he just lost everything to the California fires. Try to get along with him.” He gives me that charming grin.

“Okay, well, he’s not invited to my gender reveal,” I say with a tone of finality, “That’s not up for discussion.”

Mell shrugs. “Your party, I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do,” he says, noncommittal. 

“Thank you,” I say with a relieved sigh. I’m glad he’s not making me invite that guy. I doubt we’ll be able to get along… He really doesn’t seem to want that. I was open to it until he started being awful to me.