"Felix."

Felix opens his eyes. He's cold, but until this moment he hadn't realized it, not really. Only when a pair of warm hands shake him does he notice the temperature difference between his skin and that of the person touching him. He turns slightly, half-opens his eyes. Hyunjin. Perhaps the guard's face is the only thing that makes sense to him at that moment. He feels confused when he notices he's on a bed. He sits up. There's a nightstand, a lamp, a window. The sunlight is faint, it's early morning light. He slept in that place. In a room. That realization comes all at once, waking him up suddenly.

And then he shifts his gaze back to Hyunjin. Their eyes meet. Hyunjin is pale, has deep dark circles under his eyes, looks worried. No, he looks scared. Felix barely has time to realize this before Hyunjin hugs him, sitting on the bed with him. Felix feels tiny in the other boy's arms, and the reason is that he's lost weight, as if that oppressive place has ended up wearing him down, making him smaller. Hyunjin's hands caress his back, while his face finds its place in the hollow between Felix's shoulder and neck. Hyunjin doesn't say anything else, not a word. So Felix raises his hand and strokes his raven-black hair, soft to the touch. They remain silent for several minutes. Felix starts to think that Hyunjin won't say anything at all, not a single word. And perhaps that silence unsettles him more than being completely vulnerable in his presence, exposed to any possible mistreatment.

But deep down he knows that Hyunjin won't do anything to him.

That he won't hurt him.

And something in Felix starts to believe that maybe he never even wanted to.

"Thank you," Hyunjin murmurs. A single word, somewhat broken. Felix opens his eyes. The fingers stroking the dark hair stop for a whole moment. "For not trying to escape," Hyunjin adds after a moment. Then he slowly breaks away from that embrace and looks into his eyes. He adjusts a strand of Felix's hair behind his ear. "You were good. You were really good."

Felix feels something twisting in his stomach. Remorse. Regret. Or something else? He only knows that he feels uncomfortable. In hindsight, he thinks he was stupid not to even try. So, just to clear his doubt, he asks: "What happened to the others?"

Hyunjin blinks, slowly. He seems to search for words, but doesn't take long to find them. "Some managed to escape. Others were caught," he says.

Some managed to escape.

The idea that Felix could have been among them...

"Will they look for them? Will they catch them again?" he asks then.

Hyunjin shrugs. "They probably will. But you can never really know. These things are complex..."

Felix pulls his lips into a disheartened smile and lowers his head. "Maybe I should have tried."

Hyunjin tenses. He places his index and middle fingers under his chin and lifts his face. "Don't even say that. Don't think about it," he adds then. "History isn't written with 'ifs' and 'buts'. What matters is that you're here." Felix almost has the feeling Hyunjin was about to say something else, but he doesn't speak. He stays silent. And Felix knows that pushing further and trying to get more would be fruitless.

"You look so tired..." Felix murmurs, taking Hyunjin's face between his hands. He presses his thumbs against his cheekbones and Hyunjin lowers his eyelids. "They called us after the escape. They interrogated us all night."

They interrogated us?

Hyunjin and who else?

And why?

Felix brings his face close to Hyunjin's, their noses brushing.

He wants to know. He wants to know everything.

With parted lips, he touches Hyunjin's. Hyunjin tenses, but only for a moment. Then his hands rest on Felix's hips, thumbs brushing against skin before digging into his hipbones almost possessively. Felix is shaken by a shiver. A shiver so different, so deep. His body moves spontaneously against Hyunjin's until their chests touch, until their mouths begin to devour each other.

Hyunjin places his hand against Felix's nape. He holds him close while their tongues meet. Felix can't help but gasp into that kiss, his body growing hotter with each passing moment. When Hyunjin separates from Felix's mouth, it's only to trail kisses down his jawline, his neck. Felix pants, eyes half-closed, heart pounding in his chest. There isn't a single piece of fabric to hide his arousal. He doesn't even know when the need arose within him, but it's undeniable. So the words leave his throat almost like an order, but a soft, faint one. An order laden with a vulnerability that Felix would never have imagined belonged to him, but that he now clearly hears in his own voice.

"Let's do it. Let's have sex," he says.

Hyunjin stops. The kisses on skin turn to breaths against damp skin. Then Hyunjin raises his face, seeking Felix's gaze as if looking for confirmation on his face, as if certain he had misheard. But when he notices the conviction in Felix's eyes, he caresses the corner of his mouth with his thumb and says, "You don't know what you're asking for. It's not what you want. Not really."

"You don't know what I want," says Felix. "I want this. I want it now, and that's what matters. I'm not asking you to become my boyfriend," Felix says with almost cutting irony. "I just want... I just need this."

Hyunjin holds his breath, and then that held oxygen becomes a long, slow sigh. "Okay, then," he says. "If that's what you want, fine," and it's at this point that something in Hyunjin's gaze becomes darker, more ravenous. Felix feels himself burning under those eyes. "But you have to be absolutely certain, because once we start, I won't hold back. I won't have any reservations. Is that what you want? Are you sure?"

Felix is now even more convinced.

If he was ever granted the ability to decide anything, then...

"Yes. I told you."

Hyunjin moves his head, an imperceptible gesture. Then he pushes Felix against the mattress and towers over him with his own body, his eyes wandering over Felix's pale skin as if they could devour it one bite at a time. Hyunjin's fingers begin to brush against a nipple and the boy gasps, feeling sensitive. Then Hyunjin leans down to his chest and uses his tongue against them, while his hands move between Felix's legs.

It's a spontaneous instinct to part them. Hyunjin lets out a low, satisfied laugh, then raises his gaze to Felix while a finger begins to brush against the contracted ring of muscles. His entrance is tight, just as tense and hard as his erection weighing against his belly. Hyunjin lets his gaze wander over his body for a moment, then lowers himself enough to face Felix's erection. He licks it with one slow lap while letting his index finger sink into his warmth.

Felix contracts around that finger, while the pleasure that Hyunjin's tongue provides tears a moan from him. Hyunjin then wraps his tongue around his glans and then lets it slide into his mouth. Felix feels pleasure running through his body like electric current. "Christ-" he pants, throwing his head back against the pillow, as a second finger enters his entrance. Hyunjin waits just a moment for Felix to get used to the intrusion before beginning to fuck him decisively with his fingers. And Felix, who had forgotten that strange and intense pleasure, finds himself contracting and moaning to the point that he presses a hand against his mouth to hold back the sounds, fearful that someone might hear them. 

Hyunjin watches Felix lose his mind, but instead of stopping, he adds a third finger. Felix feels the pain of skin stretching and pulling, but the unpleasant sensation is almost completely nullified by the pleasure he feels when those three fingers begin to push forcefully inside his hole. Legs spread, knees bent, chest rising and falling with each of those hard and determined thrusts. Yet it's not enough. The fingers only brush against that spot that he wants to be properly pounded. Impatience burns inside Felix while his dripping erection disappears into Hyunjin's torrid mouth that devours it.

Felix is on the verge of orgasm when Hyunjin withdraws his fingers and frees his erection from the torture of his lips. Felix remains panting and disheveled under his gaze, eyes almost angry. Hyunjin grins while looking at him. The stretched hole contracting around nothing. "You're a fucking sight," he murmurs, while massaging his tense cock still confined in his jeans. Felix snaps to sitting position. His hands begin fumbling with his belt, with the button and zipper. In no time he has his hands buried in his boxers, pulls out his large erection and kisses the tip, then licks it and a second later swallows it. "Hey- slow down-" pants Hyunjin, who wasn't expecting such voracity at all.

Hyunjin sinks his hands into the blonde hair. Felix drags his tongue against the shaft, down to his testicles, and then moves upward. He climbs against Hyunjin's body and kisses him again, with desire. Their tongues intertwine while Felix's hands pull Hyunjin's pants down to his thighs. Hyunjin doesn't hesitate further. He pushes Felix back down on the bed, kicks off his own clothes and nestles between Felix's thighs. "You drive me crazy," he murmurs, then places a kiss against his chest. "You're a curse, you know that? A real curse" and those words from Hyunjin reach Felix's ears as incoherent. He grips the dark hair between his hands while Hyunjin places his hands on his hips, possessively. He lifts them and then presses the tip of his cock against Felix's entrance, who holds his breath. Then the cock begins to sink into him and the pain is tremendous, his body tenses while Hyunjin with a single thrust carves out space inside him.

"Relax," whispers Hyunjin, placing his mouth against the corner of his lips. "You're squeezing me."

Felix bites Hyunjin's cheekbone and hisses: "It hurts like hell-"

"It'll pass," says Hyunjin. "Pain is part of the game."

And with those words, he pulls his hips back and pushes into Felix, who digs his fingers into Hyunjin's back while wrapping his legs around his hips. Hyunjin begins to thrust into him at a relentless pace right from the start, Felix hates him for this, but at the same time it's precisely because of those deep and repeated thrusts that he manages to get used to the sensation quickly. And then that cock that sinks into him can do so more freely, deeper. And when it manages to plunge into him enough, it hits that point that makes Felix's back arch and tears a moan from his throat. "There we go," murmurs Hyunjin while placing a bite against his throat. "Found it."

Hyunjin begins to thrust with greater force and Felix feels like he's breaking beneath him. He wraps his arms around his neck, their mouths return to kissing, but pants and moans from both make that kiss messy. Hyunjin continues to fuck Felix quickly, each thrust is a hard, almost violent strike. Felix feels the ring of muscles contract and hurt, burn, but the pleasure of how Hyunjin pounds into him surpasses everything else.

It's at this point that Hyunjin brings his hand to Felix's tense sex. He starts touching him, pumping quickly. Felix feels as if something inside him is breaking. A moment later, he comes. It's an intense orgasm that leads him to moan loudly, unable to contain his voice, his upheaval. He squeezes his eyes shut, everything seems to whiten in his mind. And God, it's so difficult to stay lucid when Hyunjin's cock continues to hit him, even harder, throughout the orgasm. Felix abandons himself against the mattress as if he had suddenly deflated. Hyunjin's grip on his hips becomes harder. One, two, three thrusts. Felix loses count. But then Hyunjin emits a low, guttural moan and Felix feels his warmth invading him, liquid and viscous. And then Hyunjin stops, his forehead resting against Felix's. He just breathes, eyes closed. Felix thinks he's beautiful — a lethal beauty, in a sense. Then Hyunjin pulls out of his body and lies down beside him. Felix feels the liquid trickling down his thighs but tries not to think about it, then turns on his side and pushes his face against Hyunjin's chest. Hyunjin wraps an arm around his back. Both their heartbeats are agitated, but now a strange calm begins to take over them. And Felix has the feeling he could fall asleep again. In fact, he has the feeling he's about to do it.

"Just ten minutes," murmurs Hyunjin. His voice is hoarse, dragged out. "Just ten minutes."

Felix half-closes his eyes while placing a kiss against his chest. "Why? What do you have to do?"

Hyunjin strokes Felix's hair and places his lips against his forehead.

"I have to take you somewhere."

And it's just a feeling.

There's nothing that can really prove it, and yet...

Felix knows.

He knows it from a slight inflection in Hyunjin's tone.

Or maybe he just knows it regardless of anything else.

It won't be pleasant.

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