I was about half-way through the book by the time Toshi returned but seeing him as he entered made it easy to lay it aside, despite how suspenseful the scene I’d been reading had been.

One look at his face and told me everything I needed to know. The faraway look in his eyes, the fluttering of his lashes, the locked jaw, the flared nostrils… They all spoke volumes of his grief. The knowledge that his father’s life was ending and there was nothing he could do to stop it, or else, that he had just witnessed his father’s death. That fact alone packed a good punch of desperation, I knew from personal experience. Toshi’s steps as he walked into the cave were slow, almost as if he had to convince himself to take each step separately.

I got to my feet and crossed over to him. “Hey… Toshi. Want me to make you some coffee? Or tea?”

I didn’t need to ask if he was okay. We both knew he wasn’t.

He gave me a weak nod, and I guided his steps gently toward his armchair, before busying myself in the kitchen. Bringing him the coffee I’d made a few moments later, I found myself baffled by my situation. Here I was—kidnapped and cursed—and yet instead of planning an escape, I was making beverages for my kidnapper. Not only that, but I wanted to comfort him. He was a good guy, I felt certain of that, whatever his beef with Kaoru might have been. But right now, there was not much I could do for him.

Toshi accepted the coffee without looking up at me, but his lips moved as he, almost inaudibly, whispered, “Thank you.”

“Would you like to talk about it?” I tilted my head to the side.

Toshi shook his head, but the hint of a sad smile appeared in the corner of his lips.

“In that case, I could leave you alone for a while if you prefer. I can just wait by the cave opening for a while,” I suggested.

“No. Stay.” Toshi’s cold hand wrapped around my wrist. “Please.”

“Alright.” Allowing him to keep a hold of my wrist if he wished, I knelt on the floor next to him, grateful that the ground was carpeted.

We sat still and silent for a while, but through his gentle grasp I felt the tremors running through him. Occasionally his grip would tighten for a moment, just to almost loosen completely, and I had to check to see if his hand was even still there. In time, he calmed down. Most of his coffee had gone cold, but he’d had about half of it. The other half had absorbed his attention entirely. My own thoughts had started out full of compassion for him, wondering if and how I could help ease his pain, but as time passed, they wandered, returning to Toshi and his plight whenever I felt his hand tighten. The remainder of the time I wondered how long it would be before Kaoru would return home to find me missing, and how badly I was fired from my job for having vanished without notice. Never mind how I was going to explain my sudden and unbelievable absence to the authorities. I might end up in trouble if I wasn’t able to pay my rent or health insurance. I didn’t even want to think about my student debts just yet.

“Are you hungry?” Toshi suddenly said, pulling me from my thoughts. Finally, he looked at me, and some semblance of the man I’d met earlier had returned to his expression.

“A little,” I admitted.

Letting go of my arm, he got to his feet with a smirk. “Then I better do something about that.” He took a few steps toward the kitchenette before slightly turning back to me. “Thanks, by the way.”

Watching him start getting busy with food, I rubbed my wrist which now felt oddly cold and tingly where Toshi had been holding it. I would have offered to help if I didn’t think that I’d only be in his way. So instead, I moved from the ground to the other armchair. An action for which my joints and knees immediately expressed themselves to be grateful. I’d lost any sense of time, but I was sure several hours had passed. I wouldn’t have been surprised to find out we were approaching midnight, but the lighting in the cave gave no indication, and Toshi didn’t have any clocks hanging on the walls. I supposed that yokai probably didn’t obsess quite as much about punctuality as the fast-paced human world did.

A little while later, Toshi placed an omelet in front of me. For a split moment I found myself worrying about whether or not tengu laid eggs, being part bird. But seeing Toshi dig into his own omelet without reserve took my concerns away.

It was tasty. Not as good as Kaoru’s cooking, but it was still really good.

“Misaki, tell me about yourself,” Toshi asked just after I had put a forkful of omelet in my mouth. I almost choked on it, but after a little coughing and a sip of water from the glass Toshi handed me, I prevailed.

“I’m surprised you remember my name,” I noted once I stopped spluttering.

His brows furrowed in puzzlement. “Why wouldn’t I remember it?”

That was a question I had no answer to.

“Never mind.” I avoided his gaze, settling instead for inspecting the bookshelf again. “What do you want to know?”

“I know you like coffee, but what else do you like? What makes you you?”

I bit my lip. What an odd question. And one that made me a little uncomfortable. How was I meant to answer it?

“I like drawing and painting,” I settled eventually. “And reading. I like nature. And, uh…” Trailing off, I shot him a testing glance. He was watching me carefully, like he was paying close attention to everything I said. I felt the heat rush to my face under his scrutinizing gaze.

“That’s it,” I blurted out. “That’s all there is to me. Boring, right?” I laughed, trying to shake up the uncomfortable feeling that had settled in my chest. “What about you, Toshi?”

His eyes widened a little in surprise to have the question thrown back into his face. For just a split second they flickered to the Tohikito Masato books on the shelf. If I hadn’t sort of expected it, I probably would have missed it.

“I lived for my clan,” Toshi said gravely. “Everything I do must be for them.”

I cocked my head with a cheeky smile. “’Must be’ as in ‘ought to be’ or as in ‘probably is’? Because I already know you like reading.”

“I…” Toshi looked so taken aback by my comment that I almost felt bad for having made it. Almost. He seemed to fight with himself for a moment, before coming to a conclusion. “I am much more willful and idealistic than is strictly becoming of a tengu chief. Never mind the kami no kaze.”

Kami no kaze. God’s wind. That was the second time I’d heard a term like this in the yokai realm and I still didn’t really know what it meant. I would have asked then and there, but Toshi had gotten to his feet, yawning.

“I’m beat,” he said. “It’s been a long day. I imagine you must be exhausted as well. You can sleep in the back. The futon was designed with tengu in mind, but I imagine it will still be more comfortable for you than the chair or the floor.”

I’d lost my chance.