October 22nd 9 PM 

Asher’s POV 

I don’t know how we got to this, but Devon got me onto his bed and keeps giving me “drunken kisses” even though he’s almost sober. 

He stopped and i just hear, “Ash... I love you...” He crawled onto the bed and laid beside me. 

You’d think I'd hear the sounds of music or a couple banging in the next room, but it was silent, Devon kicked everyone except for me, Mason and Danny, who were cuddling in the other room as i speak. 

“Dev, I love you too, but why are you acting like this?” 

“When I'm fully sober, I'm going to hate myself...” I didn’t push it, but something about the way he said it nagged at me. He ended up cuddling up to me. 

I ended up falling asleep with him cuddled up to me, it was comfortable. 

That was until around midnight, when I woke up to see Devon pacing around the room. When he saw i had woken up, he quickly asked, “What did we do last night?” He had a sorta panicked expression. 

“We kissed a few times?” I sat up slowly and chuckled, but he looked more panicked. 

“Anything else...?” 

“I mean, we cuddled, but nothing really more than kissing, why?” 

He mumbled something under his breath, i almost didn’t hear him, but my heart dropped, “Why did i do that? I shouldn’t have gotten drunk, I’m not supposed to like boys,” and then his mumbling became too hard to understand. 

“Dev?” I slowly got up and i stood beside him, i tried to put my hand on his shoulder but he swatted it away. 

“Don’t fucking touch me,” I could hear the hesitation in his voice, like he didn’t want to say it, but i still moved back. 

“Dev, what the fuck is wrong?” 

“I’m not supposed to fucking like guys Asher! And its fucking terrifying to know i already fucked that up!” 

“Devon, i understand, i promise you i do, but that gives you no right to be an asshole,” I stood in front of him now, he looked away, “Devon, look at me.” 

“No, and Asher, you don’t fucking understand, you don’t understand what it’s like to have a parent who would disown you for being gay.” 

“I don’t understand? My mom hired an exorcist when Fiona came out, then kicked her out when it didn’t work, my mom would kill me if she found out i like guys,” He finally looked at me, “Devon, i fucking like you, im not scared to risk the fucking world for you, and yet your terrified to admit you like me, when you clearly do.” 

“I- I don’t like you like that Asher,” he can’t lie, he hasn’t been able to lie in the almost 15 years I've known him. 

“Don’t lie Devon.” 

“I’m not-” 

“You are Devon, i can tell because you can’t lie if your life fucking depended on it, and the fact that you're blushing.” 

“Leave.” 

“What?” 

“I said leave Asher, please just leave.” 

I just turned around, but before i left i said, “I really wish i didn’t like you.” 

I walked to the adjacent room, Danny and Mason were asleep on the bed. Mason slowly woke up, “Asher?” He whispered, clearly hungover, and trying not to wake up Danny. He sat up slowly, “Ash, why does it look like your about to cry?” 

“Cause i am... but that's not the point, do you and Danny want to go home? I’m leaving, and i don't think Fiona will want to drive out here in the morning.” 

He slightly shook Danny awake, “Hey, Danny, we are gonna go, come on,” He spoke softly as Danny slowly woke up and sat up. 

“Oh, okay,” He was more hungover than Mason. They both slowly got up off the bed and followed me down the stairs. 

They got into the backseat of my car as i started it. I drove towards Ellie and Danny’s house, knowing full well that Fiona is there, and would probably kill us for knocking on the door in the middle of the night, but mom would never let Mason inside the house hungover. 

I knocked on the door of the house, Ellie answered the door, her expression wasn’t hard to understand, i interrupted something, “It’s fucking midnight!” 

“Yet your still awake, Eleanor. Is my sister keeping you up, or is it the other way around?” 

Her face turned bright red. “What the fuck do you need?” 

“Just had to drop off these two,” Danny and Mason snuck past Ellie, leaving me at the doorstep. 

“You coming inside or leaving, given that you interrupted something.” 

“You know what sure,” I walked past her. 

Danny walked down the hall, surprisingly Mason didn’t follow, he sat down on the couch, and i sat beside him. 

Ellie went back to her room and locked the door. 

“So why did it look like you were crying?” 

“I fucked up, Mason.” 

“How?” 

“I kissed Devon.” 

“And that’s fucking up how?” 

“He hates me now...” 

“Oh, well that's bad,” He laughed a bit, like he wasn’t serious. 

“Mason, I just lost my best friend here, and you're laughing your ass off!” 

“You fucking kissed the straightest fucking guy we know, and you thought he wasn’t going to hate you?” 

“Mason, there is no way he is straight after that, he told me he loved me, he might have been drunk, but he wouldn’t say that if he didn’t mean it,” I said it like i wasn’t sure of myself, like i didn’t believe my own words. 

“Asher, Devon is a completely different person when drunk, he could literally say anything, he could’ve just meant it in a platonic way, you can’t trust a drunken Devon,” He kept laughing. 

“He wasn’t fucking with me,” I hesitated, my voice cracking slightly. 

“Jesus, you really fucking love him Asher, don’t you?” 

“Yes, and i don’t know what the fuck im going to do now. I lost my fucking best friend because i couldn’t keep my feelings to myself,” I genuinely wanted to cry. 

I looked away from him, “I’m just going to go home, I’ll face the wrath of mom,” I slowly stood up and walked towards the door. 

“And where the fuck do you think you're going?” I didn’t even hear Fiona leave Ellie’s bedroom.