Old? Experienced? I am not. I may be a mere naive child travelling the world who still has a lot of hardships to go through. I may not have that much to say, that much to tell or that many things to remember. Love and joy, hatred and sadness, I went through those feelings. I may have found my way to peace, but I am still a small child that is still living an incomplete life. Destiny may have a plan for me, and there might still be hardships to go through, but, from what I’ve already experienced, I have reached an incomplete inner peace. I love the sun, I love the rain, I love to be happy, and I love to be sad, but I am a coward. A coward that tries, and tries to find excuses for himself, but to no avail. I am a coward, I lost many things to my cowardness. Many joys of being young have been robbed from me. I hate it. I love it. This is me, I might be going crazy, but I am still me. I’m not doing the things that I like, I miss the one that I wanted to be forever with. I miss her, I miss her, I miss her, but i don’t care anymore. This is not about her; it’s MY life and I should own up to it, but I am a coward. Using her as an excuse, using a long lost love that led to nowhere to close myself off, to close my heart off. It’s freezing, it’s cold, and it’s time for it to be warmed back up, and no one can do that except me. We all die, we all live and we all need to find something to live for. It was her at first, but now it’s me, I’m the reason I am living for. I want joy, and joy doesn’t need to come from her. I hate this endless circle, but I can’t get out. I should focus on myself, be the one that I want to be, and to be happy. For everyone close to my heart to be happy. I don’t care anymore, she may not look at my messages or care for me, but I should stop caring about what she thinks, it’s been years after all. Pain and love, love and pain. Distance and time, time and distance. I should love, but love and love is love. I love to love and love is love. I don’t care anymore, I should love and not love. This isn’t love, this is something else other than love, this is more than love and it should be over. I need to move on, to smile in the present of the past. I hate her, but I love her. She taught me a lot indirectly. I want love, her love, but I need to move from it. I will move on.