𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐻𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓈 𝒟𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝒫𝒶𝓈𝓈, 𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝑅𝓊𝓃 𝑀𝑒 𝒪𝓋𝑒𝓇.

The room felt colder than usual, or maybe it was just my body trying to stay awake. Every blink was a struggle against sleep, but not out of boredom—it was exhaustion. I barely slept. And when I finally did fall asleep, my mom woke me up saying I had to go to school.

Now I'm here, staring at the blackboard without really seeing anything. My thoughts are far away… they’re with her.

She hasn’t sent me any messages. But it’s still morning—maybe she’s still sleeping.

What consumes me the most is knowing that if I want to see her again, I’ll have to wait all day. The school day is full, and every minute here feels like an eternity.

Without realizing, my head starts to feel heavy, and I almost fall asleep right there, with the notebook blank in front of me.

I’m jolted awake by a sudden shout. My body straightens up in a rush.

Viktor is staring at me, his half-smile there.

— Dude, what the hell is this? You always sit up front, by the window.

— Why are you yelling? — I retort, my face angry, my voice rougher than I intended.

He falls silent for a moment, his look changing. He stares at me more carefully, as if only now he’s really seeing me.

—...Sorry.

The bell rings, too shrill.

— I know — I murmur, getting up slowly. I don’t want to spend another second here.

— Hey, where are you going?

I leave the room without answering. My head is throbbing, and the air feels too heavy. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to look at anyone.

— Wait! — I hear Viktor behind me, his hurried steps trying to catch up.

I explained, without many details, that I just wanted a quiet place. Now we’re here, sitting at the back of the sports field, where no one comes. The smell of peeling paint and the stuffy morning breeze surround us.

I’ve already finished my second cigarette. A personal record, since I usually only smoke one a day—if that.

— Damn, man... First time you skip class with me, and I didn’t even have to insist. — Viktor comments, exhaling smoke slowly, looking at me sideways with a worried half-smile.

But I can’t laugh. I just stare at the ground, as if the answers are there, between the cracks in the concrete. Everything feels wrong. Distant. Heavy.

He watches me for a few seconds, as if he’s choosing his words carefully.

— It’s because of her, right? — he suddenly blurts out, not looking directly at me.

I don’t need to ask who “she” is. It’s obvious.

I sigh, blowing the smoke out slowly. My chest tightens again just thinking about how she was yesterday.

— This woman barely arrived, and look at you! — Viktor bursts out, his voice full of disbelief.

He talks as if I’m destroying myself over just anyone. Like he doesn’t understand a thing.

— You don’t know how she is! — I snap, feeling my blood boil. — She needs me, and I’m not going to turn my back on her!

— You’ve lost it! You know what this is? — He laughs, but without humor. — You’re just missing some pussy!

His words hit like a slap. I freeze for a second, shocked, not believing what I just heard. And before I realize it, I’m charging at him, blinded by rage.

He grabs my arms, trying to hold me back.

— Look what she’s doing to you?! — he yells, almost desperate.

— Look at what you’re saying! — I shout back, pulling free with force.

I get up, determined to leave. My head is pounding like it’s about to explode, and I still have to listen to this asshole spout bullshit. I can’t take it.

— Dylan! Wait, I’m sorry! — he says, his voice muffled.

I don’t look back. I just raise my arm and flip him off. Fuck it.

— You’re scaring me with this whole thing — his voice breaks the silence again, this time softer. — I’ve never seen you like this… Smoking more than usual, skipping class... You’re different, man.

— I’m scared, man.

The way he says this makes me take a deep breath. I’m not used to hearing Viktor like this. He’s always been the loudmouth idiot. But now… now he seems sincere. And scared.

I take a deep breath, but the air feels heavy in my chest. I turn slowly, still with my eyes lowered, but when I look at him… I see it. His face is etched with concern. It’s not an exaggeration, not drama. It’s real.

And that only makes my headache worse.

You’ve always been the stronger one of us both, but now… it feels like you’re falling and don’t even realize it.

He runs his hand through his hair and steps closer, carefully.

— Do you really think you can carry all of this alone?

I lift my face and look him square in the eyes.

— If I don’t, who will?

He doesn’t respond right away. He just lets out a weak laugh, without humor, as if he’s dealing with something he can’t process.

— I’m here, Dylan. If you need me. Really.

This time, I stay silent.

Not because I have nothing to say. But because if I say anything right now… I’ll break down.

And I can’t break down. Not now.

I feel someone shaking me roughly. My eyes open slowly, and the first thing I see is Viktor, his forehead furrowed, his expression a mix of irritated and scared.

— Wake up, man! — he says quietly but firmly, his hands still on my shoulders.

Did I fall asleep?

My head feels heavy. It hurts as if I’ve been hit. I blink a few times, trying to understand what’s happening… until I hear his voice.

— To my office. Both of you. NOW! — the teacher’s voice cuts through the air like a knife.

I turn my face slowly and meet his disappointed gaze. My eyes drop to the floor, and there’s the cigarette pack, discarded, open, with a few still inside. Damn...

My body feels like lead. I try to lift my eyes, but everything throbs. When I finally look at the sports field clock, I realize I slept for less than 3 minutes. Barely anything. But enough to screw everything up.

— I knew hanging with bad influences would lead to this... — the teacher says, almost to himself, but loud enough to hurt.

Viktor doesn’t respond. Doesn’t defend himself. He just lowers his eyes, as if he’s heard that a thousand times. And maybe he has.

I try to stand, but my legs won’t obey. My head is throbbing, and everything spins as if I’ve been punched.

Suddenly, I feel cold hands on my face. I jump.

— Are you on drugs? — the teacher asks, furious and alarmed, gripping my chin as if trying to pull the answer out of my eyes.

My consciousness seems to snap back with force. I swallow dryly, push his hand away.

— N-no, teacher! — I try to move away from him, but my body still won’t cooperate.

— Viktor! — he turns his face with anger. — What did you give him?

— Nothing! — Viktor raises his hands, desperate. — He just... he cried a lot, that’s all. That’s why his eyes are red!

I can see the panic in him. The way he tries to explain, his voice faltering. He’s been warned so many times… one more, and his mom will send him straight back to Russia. No questions. No forgiveness.

Damn the moment I asked Viktor to bring me here.

And the worst part is… it really does feel like I’m on drugs.

Everything hits me all at once, and still, I don’t absorb anything.

I just wanted to sleep… and get her message.