“Jump. Come on, goddamit, jump!!”

“Yes, that’s the cure to all your problems.”

“I need to jump.”

“Why do you hesitate, Ahan?”

“Move it, move your legs loser!”

“Have you made up your mind yet?”

“No, I cannot, I canno-”

“Jump. Come on, take a step. See, everything’s gonna be all right.”

“NO! I said NO!”

“Oh, you are now running away, Ahan. Where do you think you can run away, from me, that is yourself?”

“Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Away, Away, Away!!”

“Done screaming? Now hold your breath and jump from this railing. Your worthless soul could only come this far. You bastard. Don’t you understand the situation? I am in control here. You will do what I say. I am you and you are me. So what I wish for is what you wish too. Are you listening to me? Ahan? Ahan? Aha-”

“...”

KLICK.

What was that sound? Someone, a camera? As I turn around, I see a person a few meters away from the edge of the terrace, looking at the screen of a camera held in her hands. She just took a picture, did she not? For how long has she been here? Wait, what if she took a picture of me trying to commit suicide? No! It would be terrible. Wait, why is she so calm? Do people really not care about a boy standing on the railings of a 4-storey building this late in the night? Also, why is she even here? Is she one of the staff? But I thought the store room was on the third floor. What am I even thinking about? I should not care. I have to do this. She has a picture of me, oh, what now, I do not care. I must do this. Yeah, I need to stay calm. Calm, okay calm. Ha, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm. NOO!!! This is not working.

As I was staring at her while overthinking and going crazy, she turned her head up and saw me in my eyes. Her gaze, as cold as the winter nights, pierced into my soul. Her eyes, half closed and uninterested in seeing a loser like me. I could tell, she was not looking at me with a very pleased look.

“Ah, s-sorry miss. I was not peeking into you. I was not, really sorry. Ah, I-I am getting down see. I was really enjoying the winter weather. It’s nice, isn’t it? Ah, what a nice breeze it is today, could only be enjoyed from a place this high. If you were just now thinking that I was about to do something funny, I request you to please discard that thought from your mind. Rest assured, I am just a nice-weather-enjoyer person, who was just admiring the night today. So please, if you don’t mind, can you delete that photo you just took with your camera?”

Ah, what am I even saying?

“You there,” she said with a disinterested voice.

“Yes ma'am!”

“You see me here?”

“Ha? No, I didn’t mean to ‘ha’ at you. I am most sorry. I mean yeah, if you thought you were some invisible spirit coming to get at me…”

What am I SAYINGGG!!!

“...”

She looked at me with a puzzled look, completely blank. She must be so mad.

THUMP.

“I am bowing on my knees, see. I am very sorry for being rude. I had no ulterior motives. I will apologise to the store manager for trespassing. So please do not report me.”

“No. Leave it. Go home,” she said before turning away from me.

“You mean you would not tell anyone about what happened. Thank you so much, miss. I wish all the fortunes in the world would fall on you.”

I am overdoing it, ain’t I?

“...”

No response this time. Wait, one more thing.

“Ah, hehe, if you were to be so considerate miss, would you mind deleting that photo you took?”

“NO,” she said that quite monotonously after quickly turning towards me. Well, a response this time, pretty quick. No, this is no good.

“What do you mean, miss? I am begging you, please, please, please, please delete that picture. My life depends on it.”

Was not I the one throwing my life over the line a moment ago?

“...”

She gazed once to check on me. Her deep blue coloured eyes, dead static, her face as uninterested as ever. It felt as if she was looking into an animal about to be butchered. Wait, that was self-deprecating.

“Take a look at it,” she said before handing over the camera she held in her hands to me. I stood up to take it. It was a medium-sized Japanese-made camera with a leather wrist strap. Probably not so old because it had an LCD live display. I peeked for once into the LCD screen. Wait, this is not me.

“Miss, is this the picture you were taking? The moon?” I turned the screen towards her and asked.

“...”

No response this time. Is it some kind of lottery to get a response out of her?

“I-I suppose it is,” I replied, because she didn’t.

Unintentionally enough, my ever so indian instincts to scroll past into the gallery of someone else’s kicked in.

“Wow, these are all amazing pictures, miss. Are you a professional? These shots are so breathtaking!”

I am overdoing it. She must feel like I was buttering her up. Wait, was I not? No, I genuinely felt at that moment that her shots were that amazing.

“I take pictures of the moon. Every day, I come here and take these pictures. All those are the pictures I took over the past six years,” she replied.

Six years?! She must be crazy. No, wait, I should not think like that about a person I just met. She must have her reasons.

“Miss, what is this?” I asked, pointing to a particular picture she had in her gallery.

It was the moon, or was it not? It definitely looked like it was, but the moon I knew of was white, not coloured like this one. It feels like those rabbits we believe lived on the moon played Holi all together.

“Is this some kind of artistic colouring of the moon?” I asked.

“It’s mineralogy.”

“Mineral, logy?” Oh wait, I said that in a dumb tone.

“...”

KRSHIK SHRK

She poked her left hand in her bag. Wait, she had this sling bag all the time on her back. How could I not notice? Her long black hair, which almost reached her waist, hid it all the time. Was it intentionally kept hidden? But what is it that she’s trying to find in it? Don’t tell me. Pepper spray? Knife? A GUN?! This is bad, I must have really upset her. What do I do, what do I do now?!

“AAAHH-” I screamed before tripping on my back.

“These are camera lenses specialised in enhancing the light reflected by certain minerals like ilmenite, titanium and iron found on the moon’s surface. Each mineral emits a particular shade of colour which is further enhanced in editing software.”

Minerals? Editing software? What is this sorcery? She walked past close to me and kneeled towards me. Man, that’s too close. My heart immediately shifted gears and was now beating audibly. She pointed her finger at the camera screen.

“This one, however, is unedited, so you can see the shades are much subtler to notice. Just so that you know, these are not colours you will see with your naked eyes. Cameras have specialised sensors that can capture more details and colours than the photoreceptors in our eyes.” She said while tucking her hair behind her ears.

Oh, she is a geek. But not to mention, her photos are amazing. I must be overusing the word ‘amazing’ today, but it’s just that good her photographs were. But why is she so close?!!

“...”

She moved back to her previous position, and I slowly calmed down and got up on my feet again. This feeling. It’s weird. I have never felt like this before.

“Hey, would you mind if I ask for a favour?” I asked in a deep tone.

“...”

No response. Guess she wants to say ‘I am listening, go on!!’

“Seeing your photographs made me realise that there’s so much more to what we see. Things that have always existed among us, but it was in our inability to not take a notice,” I continued.

It was said that the great Canadian singer Justin Bieber’s father abandoned him and his mother, only to return after Justin Bieber became successful in his career. It was his father’s inability to perceive the talent in the young Justin Bieber. Had he noticed it much before, he wouldn’t have had to face the backlash he received for his move. I do not want to abandon this world before I have discovered all the pretty things it has to offer.

“I had once read it in a book that certain birds can see UV light, and certain fish can also see Infrared. But the narrow band of light we see limits our perception to just the world we see when there is so much more to that world. If we were to not open our eyes wide, we would have never seen what great things the world has to offer.”

What am I doing? I was here to end my life, not being it anew.

“I want to open my eyes, wide. Enough for engulfing all the things this world has to offer,” I said while unconsciously looking into her eyes.

This cannot be happening. Wait, hold on!!

“Teach me this art of yours, Astro-Photography.”

“No.”

“Whaaattt?!!”

After I brought out the inner Shakespeare in myself to craft those brilliant lines, I was rejected?! This is not even a question of asking her out. Take a good look at her, she is probably fifteen, the same age as me, a year or two off, and look at her, she’s already a pro photographer.

She is quite attractive. I admit to that. She has a slim figure, might just be an hourglass body, and her skin is so white it looks lifeless. She feels like she does not even eat anything. Her fashion sense is decent, to be honest. She is wearing a white full-sleeved woollen sweater with criss-crossed weaving. It feels pretty warm, though. And the grey pleated skirt she is wearing, that length is pretty daring, though. Do girls wearing skirts in winter not feel anything in their legs?

But her face, that look she is giving me right now, it says it all. She just simply hates me. What good looks could do if your attitude is so sickening. Just what is this girl?!

“A-Ah, that was, a bit sudden. Miss, if you could elaborate on why you have come to this conclusio-”

KRISHK SHRK

She is again trying to find something in her bag. Are they lenses again? Wait, what if this time? NO!

“Pick a card,” she said while showing me a hand of 5 cards.

“A-Ah, what are these, miss? Tarot cards?”

“Pick one.”

“I-I guess this one does,” I picked the middle card without much thought. I don’t think putting any thought into it would have made a difference either.

“Hmph,” she sighed.

“Miss, how does it look?” Huh? Why am I suddenly so interested in them?

“Okay, I will teach you. And yes, my name is Chhaya, call me that.”

Fuck! I had not even introduced myself.

“A-Ah, t-thanks a lot for the offer, miss, I-I mean Chhaya. Myself Ahan,” I replied, stuttering. How difficult was it to talk to a girl, calling just her first name? I came to know that day. 

“...” As I reached out my arm for a handshake, she appeared to be frozen solid.

“Ah, I guess we are friends now. So no need to handshake and stuff, haha,” I said while scratching my forehead.

“...”

How do I keep the conversation going? Come on, think, think, think, think.

“What is your birthdate with year?” she asked.

“2Xth of XXXX, 200X year.”

Wait, why is she asking that so suddenly? I thought we asked things like these only when two people have been good friends for a long time. Are we good friends now? Does she like me that much? 

“A-Ah, when is yours?”

“Never mind,” she said while noting down mine in her notebook. Just what more does she have in her bag?

This is getting really complicated. Just how quickly has the mood of this conversation shifted? A moment ago, she would not even look at me while talking, well, she does that sometimes now as well. But look at her now. She even asked my birthdate. Wait, she knows my birth year, so she knows my age as well.

“Umm, Chhaya, what is your age?” I asked in a minimised tone.

“More than you,” she replied while still on her notebook. What’s taking her so long? Is she writing the numbers in words? But anyway, she is older, and I am addressing her by her name. Feels wrong. But if that’s what she wants, I guess it does not make me a rude person.

HOLD ON A MINUTE! WHAT AN IDIOT AM I?! I asked a woman the forbidden question, her age! I must die today.

“Uh, what are you writing there?”

“...”

I guess I’ll wait until she finishes. Come to think of it. If she lives here, how come I have never noticed her? I mean, I live just a couple of streets down. And I frequent this market area. I am sure that had I seen her, I would have remembered. That much standing out is she.

“Chhaya, do you live around here?”

“I live in here.”

“You mean in this building?”

“Yes.”

In this 4-storey building? Does it have an apartment? The first two floors are a supermarket, the second floor is a cafe, and the third is a tutoring centre. Was there a residency? I don’t remember. Never mind, I am not asking her more on this.

“Okay, so I need to go now. It’s already late. I would be glad if you would come a little early tomorrow, Sunday. Bring a camera with a wide-angle lens and a tripod. That’s it,” she said before she turned away and began walking towards the stairs.

Wait, what time is it again? My phone. 3 AM?! Damn! I didn’t even notice.

“S-Sorry for taking up so much of your time. I look forward to tomorrow. Thanks a lot for having me, today, no, tonight,” while I was bowing to thank her, I realised something. Why was I even here this late at night?

.

.

.

“Oh man, I hope they are not awake by now.”

By the time I reached my home, it was already 3:30 AM. Although my mother, the first one to wake up, usually does so at 5 AM, but this restless feeling I have inside me that if she wakes up early today, was killing me.

“Great, the lock is open. So no one had noticed I was out in the night,” I whispered while slowly turning the door knob.

CREAKK

The door creaked while opening, but it was subtle, no one must have noticed it. I locked the door from the inside and went upstairs to my room.

“Phew! What a tiring night it was,” I said to myself while lying down on my bed.

The lights were already off. I tried to sleep for the couple of hours I had in my hands before daybreak.

“I am excited for tomorrow night now.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“WHAAT!! I DON’T HAVE A CAMERA!!”