My first night on the streets was definitely the hardest. Though the days were moderate and quite comfortable, the summer nights still turned frigid cold. On top of that, the only thing I was able to run out the door with were the clothes on my body, so buying food was out of the question for the morning.

At first, I would go around begging for food, disguising my deeper voice by raising it as much as I could and spinning the narrative that I had a throat injury. It worked for a few days, but the shop owners soon lost their temper and patience. You could only get free food for so long before people started looking at you like a stray dog. I couldn’t bring myself to try to go back home or to Mrs. Lada again… And so, I was left without food. On an empty stomach and without a home, I just hoped that one night I’d just freeze to death in my sleep… There wasn’t much left that I wanted to stick around for. Somehow though, by some miracle, I clinged onto life.

As the seasons changed from summer to autumn, I had a chance encounter. One September afternoon, I decided to reflect on my life on a park bench. The same park bench I had slept on, in fact. My gaze fell towards a little girl and boy playing with their mother under a tree when I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder.

“Honey…?”

I perked my head up and turned around to see Mum standing over me like a guardian angel. Immediately, I jumped up and threw my arms around her. I didn’t care who was watching. There, right in front of me, was the only woman who I knew 100% cared about me all of my life.

“I… I miss you, Mum…” I whispered, tears streaming down my eyes. “I want to come back… Everything will be put behind me… No more dresses or being a woman… I try to be the man Dad wants. I’ll-”

“You stop right there, young lady,” Mum frowned, sounding almost as upset as when Dad kicked me out. “Listen here, I’m not going to let you throw away who you are like that.”

“I just… I wish this wasn’t who I was… I just want to be like everyone else!”

“I know honey, I know. But this is who you are, and I’d rather see you like this than a minute pretending to be something you’re not.”

“What if Dad’s right…?” I mumbled. “What if I am just delusional…”

“Then I would be too,” she chuckled. “But honey, I wanted to give you this.”

That’s when Mum revealed a small pouch and handed it to me. For a coin purse, I felt a remarkable lack of coins, but it was still weighty, and when I opened it up I saw a small bundle of money that left me speechless. It wasn’t a fortune, but it would last someone months on their own if they were smart.

“I managed to gather all the money I could find in your room before your father could get to it,” she smiled. “And I threw in a little extra just for good measure. It should last you until the new year, I hope.”

“Th-Thank you,” I stuttered. “It’s more than I deserve…”

“No, honey,” Mum sighed, pulling me into another hug. “You deserve so much more than what this world is willing to give you. Someday, it’ll all change. Just you wait.”

“I feel like I’ve been waiting a long time…”

“How about we find somewhere to eat lunch?” she offered. “Just like we used to do when your father was out.”

“I think I’d love that very much,” I sighed with a smile. My mother really was a saint. The very best that the world had to offer.

We had a peaceful lunch together that afternoon, chatting and catching up on each other’s lives. Apparently Dad had tried either burning or taking an axe to everything that I left behind that he could get his hands on. Though he didn’t put it into exact words, it was safe to say I was officially disowned. It hurt, but I can’t say that it tore me apart that hard. I was already a failure of a son that he never willingly associated with, so my status really went from unofficially to officially unwelcome.

“Mum, do you think any man would want to marry me?” I asked out of the blue, stirring my tea outside of a peaceful shop. Usually, marrying would be the easiest way for someone to get out of being in poverty. Women especially. “Or woman, for that matter? I’m getting a bit desperate for someone to take me out of my situation.”

“Honey, you can’t force that,” Mum frowned. “Organically, love takes time.”

“Arranged marriages happen all the time.”

“And how happy do they usually look?”

“Eh, it’s probably better than I have it now.”

“It won’t be like this forever, honey. You’ll have your day when you can look back and laugh at your father for kicking you out.”

“You sound awfully optimistic for a mother with a homeless daughter,” I sighed.

“I think someone needs to find a little optimism,” she encouraged, tapping my nose. “I’ll make sure to try and find you whenever I get the chance, okay?”

“Thank you, Mum,” I smiled. “Without you, I’m just all alone out here…”

“Even with your father against you, I’ll do what I can,” she promised. “I hope that he might warm up to you coming back home, given enough time.”

“Only time will tell,” I sighed.

Honestly, I wasn’t too optimistic about ever going back home, and I’m sure that if he allowed me to come back, he’d still make my life miserable. Once again, I was considering if staying on Earth was really the best option for me. I didn’t know how Mum would react if I was gone forever though, so my conscious forced me to stay alive whether I liked it or not.

*   *   *   *   *

The next couple months were particularly tough for me. Winter bit me hard, and though the occasional person was willing to take me in, there were a few who found out I wasn’t biologically a woman and weren’t horrified. Most of the time I had to hide in warmer alleyways or in abandoned buildings. It wasn’t a fun era. Blowing through all of my money once I got any to buy food to immediately binge on didn’t do me any favors either. I knew it was killing my mother to watch me do it, but I couldn’t help myself…

As December passed and I spent Christmas on my own in the snow, a harsh January came and filled New York with freezing thunderstorms. On one of those nights, I was clinging my sides and covering my face while huddling in an alleyway, waiting for the torrent to subside. The biggest surprise was honestly that I hadn’t died from hypothermia yet. Most of my body felt numb, and I just knew I was on the verge of passing out from the abuse to my body.

“Hey.”

I looked up to see a young and remarkably beautiful looking dark skinned man. At first, I thought that I was getting robbed or something because why would anyone be talking to me on the streets in a thunderstorm if not to rob me? But why would he give me a heads up, if so? His eyes just looked so gentle…

“H-Hey…” I mumbled, giving a silent prayer that he’d just leave me alone.

“You must be cold,” the man commented in a pretty high-pitched voice.

“Um… yeah,” I shivered.

“If you’d like, I’d be happy to offer my place tonight,” he winked with a smirk. “From one woman to another.”

From one… woman…? The stranger held out a hand down to me, and I squinted closer at their body. That’s when I saw some bulging around her chest, and connected it back to her high pitched voice… I recoiled back at the realization that I had just assumed this woman was a man! But she was dressed in a man’s coat and hat… Maybe there was a bit more behind the clothes than I thought. After a minute of thought, I took her hand. She couldn’t possibly treat me worse than the streets do.

“Here, let’s get you somewhere warm and dry.”

I nodded and silently followed her through the rain and thunder. What was she doing out on a night like this? No groceries or anything in hand, and certainly nobody would’ve gone out to see a friend on a day like this, right? The woman stopped me in front of an absolutely massive and lavish house that made my jaw drop. This was her house?! The woman must’ve married royalty to live there! She noticed my stunned expression and chuckled.

“My husband’s Reginald Hawthorne, you know,” she said proudly. “That’s how a woman like me can live in a house like this.”

That’s the moment everything clicked together. The help, the house, everything. This was her. Maxine Hawthorne. The wife that Reginald worshiped and wouldn’t stop talking about whenever he bought her winter mints in bulk. The sister-in-law that Beatrice absolutely loathed and the rest of her siblings adored. She brought me inside, which was a warm, cozy home that oozed invitation.

“That’s quite the storm, huh?” Maxine remarked, putting her coat on the rack with a sopping wet plop. I was still dripping and dragging water all over the floor like a mute idiot, I just nodded, too afraid to talk and give away my identity with my voice. “Let me go get dressed, and I’ll grab you something dry to wear!”

Maxine ran up a set of stairs with a bounce in her step and disappeared for a few minutes before coming back out. Gone was her suit and menswear, leaving me to look at a transformed beautiful woman in a paint-stained light blue dress. She was just so beautiful, with her wavy brown hair that draped down to her shoulders like an old Greek statue; further adding to that image was her beautifully curvy figure… The big bust and wide hips that formed that hourglass figure that I fantasized about having at night.

“Here,” she said, handing me a dress. I snapped out of my dumb gaze and took the clothing, blinking hard. “You can change in the bathroom down the hall.”

I scurried down to the bathroom and gladly shed my soaked dress, preparing for the new one. I couldn’t really take off the special underwear or the breast padding, so I just had to wring those out a bit and put them back on. The warm dress that Maxine had given me did more than make me feel better though. It had been so long since I had such a fresh, warm dress… When I came back out, Max looked at me like her own personal model.

“Is it warm?” she asked.

I answered with a simple nod, and Max guided me to sit down in the living room. We just sat there awkwardly while she thought about what to ask next.

“What’s your name?”

Still, I kept quiet and didn’t say a word. I really didn’t feel like getting kicked out of another home. She held a hand to her chest with a sympathetic smile.

“I’m Max.”

I think my lack of speech was starting to get to her, because her smile melted into a frustrated frown.

“What? Do you not know your own name?”

“I don’t like it…” I mumbled lowly.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s a lovely name.”

“It’s Adam…” I whispered.

“Sorry?” she asked, tilting her head. “Come again?”

“Um… It’s Adam…” I said a little louder.

First came the confusion, then the processing, then the close squinting, and then the realization hit her like a brick. I really hated it when I had to watch people go through that when slowly figuring out my identity.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry! I thought you were a woman!” she hastily apologized. “I-I can get you something else to wear. I’m so sorry I gave you a dress! I genuinely didn’t know!”

“No, no, it’s ok,” I reassured. I wasn’t used to someone being apologetic instead of jumping to being angry or disgusted when they discover my identity. This was new territory for me. She didn’t seem to calm down though, which was starting to make me more anxious.

“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t-”

“I like being a woman!” I blurted out. Max gave me a bit of a disgruntled look with a confused narrowing of eyes.

“I… Huh? What do you mean?”

“It’s… hard to explain…” I sighed. I felt like explaining would probably get me sent off to the asylum for sure, but I might as well get it over with. “I always would’ve rather been a woman than the man I was born as. I always felt more like a woman, and I’ve been trying to present as one. It’s… It’s hard to explain to someone who’s never felt it.”

“I… I can’t pretend like I understand.”

“Figured…” I mumbled.

“But if you want to dress and act like a woman… I’ll treat you like one.”

“Really…?” My heart skipped a beat. Was this real, or was she pulling a cruel joke on me?

“Mhm,” Max nodded. “It’ll be our secret, ok?”

“O-Ok,” I nodded. Honestly, I was still suspicious of the whole thing, but there was a part of me that wanted it all to be true. If she was serious about all of this, then… this was life-changing for me…

“Now!” she frowned, putting her hands on her hips. “There’s just one other issue.”

“W-What?!” I exclaimed. I knew it was too good to be true. She was going to demand that I be her slave or something to keep me secret, wasn’t she?! Or she was going to make me do some shameful or degrading act to let me stay here! “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t want-”

“Your name,” Max said, waving her hand to the side. “Adam won’t suit a woman. We need to get you something that’ll be fit for you.”

“O-Oh…” I said with a sigh of relief. In an odd truth, I’d never thought of a woman’s name for myself. Mum had always made up some fake name for me so I didn’t have to have a real identity, but I didn’t have one to truly call my own. “I hadn’t given it much thought really…”

“How about… Aven?” she smirked.

“Aven…?” I asked in wonder.

“How do you like it?”

“I… I love it,” I smiled, trying to hold back all the emotions going through my brain. Even if it was just as small as a name, I was always elated to be given something womanly to call my own. And Aven just sounded so mysterious. “T-Thank you.”

“Hey, it’s a scary world out there,” she said jokingly, giving me a small nudge on the shoulder with her fist. “Us women gotta stick together.”

“Y-Yeah,” I nodded, sniffling. Max looked out the window at the beautiful sunset piercing through the slowly dissipating storm clouds and looked distressed.

“Oh jeez, I gotta go get dinner started!” she exclaimed, turning to me. “Would you mind helping? I think aiding in dinner would make a better case to my husband for you staying.”

“Ok!”

I was more than willing to do whatever she asked of me in order to stay. It reminded me of helping Mum with dinner back at home… The memory seemed so far in the past, before Dad ran me out. Max handed me a knife, a small basket of vegetables, and set a wooden chopping block down on the counter.

“Do you need me to show you how it’s done?”

“Nope, I’m well experienced with this,” I smiled.

“That’s good to hear!” Max smirked. “If you’re going to be staying here, there’s probably going to be a lot of cleaning and cooking. Welcome to womanhood, honey.”

I started chopping some of the veggies with her and let that comment stir around my brain. Something about it just rubbed me the wrong way… It was mainly just the “welcome to womanhood” part. Maybe I was just being too touchy? Max didn’t seem to mean anything by the offhanded comment, so I didn’t acknowledge it.

“What’s your story anyway?” she asked while we worked. “How’d you end up in the alleyway like that?”

“Oh. Well, it’s a long story…” I sighed with a cynical laugh, taking the next several minutes to basically run down my life story. You know, the typical thing you do for someone you met an hour or so ago. To be fair, I’ve already felt closer to Max than with anyone else who’s ever tried to be a friend in my life. I felt like I could tell her everything, so I did. And I felt free.