I don’t think I talked for a couple days after Max’s body was taken away. I holed myself up in my room and wouldn’t open it. Days on end spent laying down, curled up in bed, and staring at the wall. A few people visited me to try and say some words of comfort. Reginald, Mrs. Hawthorne, some of the Hawthorne siblings, my own mum and even James. He canceled going home just to stay with me, which I thought was a bit of a waste. Why stay with someone who just wants to be alone? The comfort everyone tried to give me seemed to just bounce off while I wallowed in my depression and memories.

“Aven, you should go take a walk,” Reginald suggested, leaning his head into my room. “You haven’t been out in days.”

“I just… need more time…” I mumbled, still holding a handful of Max’s old paintbrushes.

“Alma and Angel said they wanted to come by and see you. And Mum wanted to take your measurements for making a dress to wear to Max’s… you know…”

“I’ll… Let me know before they come in…”

“Everyone wants to see you,” he sighed, coming in and closing the door behind him. “Can you just come out for a jaunt around-”

“I don’t want to go out,” I interrupted. “I don’t want people to see me. I don’t want-”

My voice sharply cut off as my eyes trailed back to the paintbrushes. Max wouldn't want this. She would have already dragged me out of bed and across the cobblestones by now.

“Maybe… I could go out for a little bit…” I mumbled, sitting up. I still didn’t want to go out, but I could see it made Reginald smile just a bit. It tugged at the corners of my mouth a bit too. “Forgive me, but I need a moment to get everything ready and… freshen up. This was all a lot easier with Max helping me.”

“Oh, I can help!” Angel exclaimed, bursting into my room and making me jump.

“I recall asking you all to wait downstairs,” Reginald frowned.

“Oh, well, you know we’re a bit nosey,” she awkwardly chuckled. Behind her, Alma, Ada, Alexander, William, and Elizabeth leaned in from around the corner.

“You must think privacy is a joke.”

“We’re curious,” Angel corrected. “But, um, Aven, if I could help you get ready, I wouldn’t mind.”

“T-Thank you,” I stammered, glancing at the other Hawthorne siblings staring at me. “I thought you said they’d come later.”

“Well… they weren’t supposed to come up yet,” Reginald shrugged in defense, getting up and shooing his siblings out of the doorway. “Alright, get out! This isn’t a peepshow!”

“What’s a peepshow?” Elizabeth asked.

“Divine,” Alexander chuckled. Even after Reginald shut the door, I could hear the sound of him backhanding his brother’s head.

“I can do your hair,” Angel offered, picking up the hairbrush on my dresser. “How do you feel about braids?”

“I don’t think braids have ever suited me,” I admitted.

“Well, let’s do it just this once. It’s a day for trying new things!”

Angel was just so nice about everything. It was a breath of fresh air compared to the constant barrage of thoughts racing through my head. She calmly helped me pick out a dress and even gave me an encouraging thumbs up when I came out. I knew it was probably because she wanted to make me feel better about Max being gone, but the praise still made me feel a bit warm inside. Angel gripped the pull strings in the back of the dress firmly and gave them a hearty pull, making me groan as she tied them together. 

“Thanks,” I sighed. “Max used to be a huge help with this part.”

“Be thankful I’m nicer than my sisters. When we were younger, we’d pull as hard as we could when helping each other with our dresses. I think one time Alma almost passed out!”

“I’m quite thankful I’m an only child some days,” I tiredly laughed, sitting down on a small stool and putting my hands in my lap. Angel stood behind me, running her fingers through my hair. “Sometimes I think that I’m not all that cut out for this woman's business.”

“Aven… I don’t want to sound insensitive, but I’m… curious about something,” Angel admitted while brushing and braiding my hair. “If I’m ok to get a tad personal?”

“Sure,” I shrugged.

“What’s it like… you know… not being born a woman but just knowing you are? When did you realize something wasn’t right? How did you realize something was off? I mean, what would you give up just to live in the body of a woman?”

“I would give up so much,” I sighed, staring into my reflection in the full body mirror. “I guess it’s just something you feel. Nobody told me I was a woman. It was really the exact opposite.”

“God, that sounds so hard,” Angel lamented. “Before Max took you in, how did people react to your… you know…”

“Imagine feeling for ages that you didn’t feel like everything said you should be, and once you realize what you are, they call you insane for it. They tell you your head is screwed on wrong. They’d rather take you apart piece by piece and remove the part of you that’s different, or kill you trying, than let you live your own life.”

“That’s… That’s depressing no matter how you paint it,” she mumbled. To my surprise, this was one of the few times I could see Angel with a frown on her face.

“I-I’m sorry if I made you upset though. I-”

“There’s nothing you could do that makes me upset,” she sweetly reassured. “It’s the world that’s all wrong. Why can’t you be a woman? Why can’t I be married and own property? Maybe I want to be the one on top in bed! Life in this country is suffocating sometimes. Even more suffocating than this dress!”

“Um.. yeah!” I encouraged, surprised by the tirade. “I didn’t know you felt so strongly about these things before.”

“I’d love for the words equal for all to ring true one day,” she remarked. “Humans of any sex and any color and any opinion. Why, maybe we’ll even have a woman for a president someday! I’d love nothing more than to give Mr. Cleveland a piece of my mind and tell him what important things we should be talking about on that Capitol Hill!”

“Hey, Firecracker,” chuckled a man, knocking on the door and leaning in. “Are you going to talk her ear off with politics or are you two going to join us in the living room?”

“One moment,” she huffed. “Honey, we’ve had this talk before. A lady’s routine takes time and elegance.”

“I know, I know. It’s just that Reginald, William, and I want to go out before lunch hour passes us by, and-”

“I’m sure you boys can find something to talk about while you wait for us.”

“But-”

“The routine. Let the girls freshen up.”

“I…” he let out a groan and hung his head low. “Alright, honey.”

Her husband dragged his feet back to the living room, and I marveled at Angel’s authority. She finished braiding my hair up and took me out of my room, and we all went out for lunch. Reginald was right, it was what I needed. I felt a lot better once they got me out of the house and bought me some fresh food, but I couldn’t shake the emptiness I felt inside. Someone was just… missing. And I didn’t have to think hard about what it was. I… I missed her…

*   *   *   *   *

I wasn’t ready for the funeral. Not by a longshot. Mrs. Hawthorne had made my dress herself, and I would’ve probably fawned over the look and make of the clothing if it weren’t for the event that it was made for. We all gathered around a grave in the middle of the day, a wave of black suits and veils coming together at a small monument. I secretly resented the way the sun shone so brightly that day. Why should the sun shine in jubilance why I’m forced to mourn? Just another one of nature’s mockeries.

I couldn’t listen to what everyone said that day. The whole funeral felt like a buzz in my ears, and I couldn’t focus a bit. So many thoughts racing through my head. Was I going to have to look after the house now that Max was gone? Would Reginald want to keep me? Did Max really have no family of her own to come to the funeral too? Would… Would my funeral look like this…?

“Honey, are you okay?” James whispered, gently shaking my shoulders. I had apparently been looking down, clutching James’ arm, and tearing up. “If we need to leave, I’m sure they’d-”

“I’m fine…” I sighed. “I… I need to be here.”

“But if you do need to leave, they’d understand.”

Reginald moved to stand in the front of the crowd and cleared his throat. I could see him get ready to say something a few times before stopping and rethinking his words. What was there for Reginald to say? We all knew it was an accident, and it might’ve been because of what Beatrice said, but at the end of the day it was still his hand that pushed Max down the stairs.

“Max… Max was the first woman of her kind in this world, I think,” he managed, swallowing as his throat tightened. “When we first met, I may have been the one to catch her, but Max was the one who swept me off my feet…”

Reginald continued his speech on, but I could hardly listen to it. Not because it wasn’t heartfelt or beautiful. It’s because I started sobbing my eyes out. Maybe I should’ve done what James suggested and left before. Through all the talking and sobbing though, I could hear the sound of something clacking against the cobblestone path behind us, like a horse. Whatever it was made some heads turn though.

“W-What’s happening?” I asked James, trying to peer over the shoulders blocking my vision.

“Don’t look now, but… It’s the snake.”

I took the advice. I knew just looking at Beatrice would probably shoot my nerves through the roof. Though, it started getting harder to ignore that people were murmuring and looking away in the middle of Reginald’s speech, and soon even Reginald himself stopped talking. He stared into the back of the group, frowning and throwing a look of disdain. I wondered how she had the gall to show up to Max’s funeral, and then I laid eyes on her. She was in a snow white dress. Not a speck on it. Everyone knew what this was. Nobody wore white to a funeral, and it was a direct insult, knowing Beatrice’s signature color was jet black. I didn’t know she even had any clothing that wasn't black. Whispers were passed around that all asked the same question: what was she doing here?

“I thought you were going to stay home,” Reginald said, annoyed but keeping his composure. I imagined he probably didn’t want the day to get worse and was trying to avoid making a scene. Unfortunately, this was Beatrice we’re talking about. Of course there was going to be a scene.

“I can’t come to my sister-in-law’s funeral?”

“I thought you said she would never be a sister to you,” Reginald pressed. “In the past, you tried to sell her.”

“Honestly, it was one time,” Beatrice groaned as if he was the unreasonable one. “Now that she’s dead, I’m ready to embrace Max as a sister and come to her funeral. I think I have the right to say a few words about our-”

“No,” her brother said, his voice steady with a tone of absoluteness. “You’re going straight home. You came here just to draw attention to yourself. All you’ve done is disrespected Max and made a fool out of yourself.”

“You’re the ones who all turned to me. I didn’t even say anything.”

“The gaudy white dress says enough.”

“I thought this is how they dress for funerals where her kind comes from.”

“Go home. You’re not saying another word about my wife.”

“Why don’t you let him say some words then?” she asked, pointing straight at me. “I’m sure Adam has plenty of words about Max, since she was his personal caretaker.”

“Keep her name out of your mouth,” he warned, his voice on edge. Beatrice’s satisfied face knew she struck a nerve. “Aven’s and Max’s.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. He knew everything Max did. He might have known your wife better than you did. Oh wait, he did! Adam knew you were being cheated on but-”

“Beatrice, this is your last chance to stop all of this and go home,” Reginald said with heavy breathing.

“I bet he even wanted her gone, didn’t you?” Beatrice sneered at me. Reginald looked ready to pick the woman up and carry her down to a river. “What, did you keep your mouth shut about her affair because you wanted my brother to yours-”

“Get out of here, you cow!” William yelled, clearly having had enough. Beatrice whipped her head around to find the source, making her dreads swish. 

“Oh boy,” James mumbled. “Here it  comes…”

I clung to my fiancé’s arm even tighter, trying to wipe my eyes while a group of people started collectively antagonizing Beatrice. And then, of course, she had to point a pale, boney finger right at me.

“You want to know the real cow here?!” Beatrice howled, gritting her teeth and looking at me with a stare of nothing short of pure malice. “That thing! He’s a man in a dress!!! He goes home every night and binges his stomach out on that disgusting stash of his!!! And you’re calling ME the cow?!”

Of course, after she said that, all hell broke loose. Mr. and Mrs. Hawthorne stepped forward to continue a shouting match between them and their daughter. I tried to block out the arguing between Beatrice and her family, just sticking to clinging to James’ arm. I was in the middle of wishing I was back at home with Max and Reginald when I felt something heavy on my shoe, and before I knew it, something strong, heavy, and damp was wrapped around my ankle, making me shriek and trip to the ground. 

So there I was, staring down this thick green rope wrapping its way down my leg. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t scream, I didn’t even breathe… All I did was stare that woman’s snake down as it looked at me with these deep, almost pondering eyes. Why didn’t it just strike me already…?

“Get off of her!” James shouted, kicking the snake off my leg and stomping his heel into the poor thing.

“NO!” shrieked Beatrice, who let loose a painful, visceral scream. “GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!! DON’T HURT HIM!!”

James was about to stomp Fluffy again, but I gripped his arm and tugged him back a bit.

“It doesn’t deserve it,” I whispered. “Just let it go…”

After just a small hesitation, James backed away and put his arms around me. Sadly, once Fluffy recovered and started moving again, I couldn’t stop a bunch of the others from kicking, beating, and stomping the poor snake. I had to turn away and hold onto James, it was so terrible. For all that I disliked that snake and its owner, it didn’t deserve to be the scapegoat for their fear and hate of Beatrice.

“I-I want to go home now,” I mumbled, letting James hold me while we walked down the street. That was enough for today.