“I can’t believe I won’t have any fur or quills anymore after this.” Shadow’s voice was quiet and his face expressionless. “I didn’t realize I was so fragile. So weak.”

“You’re not weak.” Amy told him. “You’re really quite strong. You survived what no one else could!”

“That doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have succumbed to the pain at all.”

“Shadow! You were weak from all your concussions and the hypothermia you had!” Amy grabbed Shadow’s shoulder a little too hard and made him cringe. “Sorry, I didn’t mean too–”

“It’s alright, Amy.” Shadow half-smiled through the throbbing pain.

Deep inside he was frightened. Frightened of changing, even if it was beyond his control. There was no avoiding change now. He would never be the person who he used to be, even if just physically.

Amy could sense his uneasiness.

“Try not to think about losing your quills, Shadow.” Amy gave him her best smile, which offered him some ounce of relief. “You’re still you, quills or no quills.”

Shadow grunted and carefully laid back onto the pillows. He closed his eyes and allowed his body to relax.

Amy watched his chest move with every breath. His hospital gown was baggy on him, making his frame appear larger than he was underneath it. Still, he appeared sickly thin.

“Shadow…” She felt uncomfortable asking this question. “Why won’t you eat? Aren’t you hungry?”

“I don’t need to eat. I’m immortal.” Shadow whispered. “Ughh… I think my pain meds are wearing off…”

“I know it won’t kill you but it’ll keep you from healing.” Amy wasn’t even sure how correct her claim even was. How did starvation affect someone who was immortal? Did it simply wear their body out or does their body die while their soul continues to animate it? Amy wasn’t sure what would happen to Shadow once his body ran out of nutrition, but she didn’t want to find out.

What made him immortal? Was it Chaos energy that kept him alive even after his body reached its physical limits? Or was it something else entirely?

“I’m not hungry anymore anyway, and it hurts to eat, so I don’t see why I should bother.” Shadow’s voice grew weaker and weaker. He yawned, wincing from the pain his stretched skin caused. “I feel… exhausted. I don’t know if I can keep myself awake much longer.”

Amy wasn’t sure what to do. He had a point. He didn’t need to eat to live, although at the same time, she doubted his quality of life would be good if he continued to starve himself. Sure, he was immortal, but survival wasn’t the same as living. If this habit continued, he would stop living a life and instead sleep forever in a comatose.

“Shadow. This is destructive.” Amy said timidly. “You won’t get better if you do this to yourself.”

“I wish the nitrogen would have gotten me, anyway.” Shadow sighed. “Sometimes the pain of eternity is too heavy to bear.”

Fear surged through her heart. She didn’t understand why he wanted to go away so badly. Sure, he was less than perfect, but he at least tried to do the right thing even if it ultimately turned out to be flawed.

“Please… please don’t say that.” Amy stammered. “I–It makes me nervous. That’s all.”

“I can’t die, Amy.” Shadow’s voice was so weak and quiet. “I must continue on and on and on for all eternity. Sometimes I wished I could just…”

Shadow’s eyes closed as we drifted off into sleep. Perhaps that was what he wanted.

His troubles were just beginning.