October 23rd 11:36 AM 

Devon’s POV 

“I really wish i didn’t like you.” 

Those 7 fucking words kept ringing in my ears, I hate how much i like him, but its wrong, i shouldn’t like a boy, especially not him. 

I turned on my phone, and just scrolled through my contacts, and landed on Vivian. 

“What do you want Pass?” 

“Fuck?” 

“And therapy?” Vivian said in a half serious half joking tone, “I’ll be over in 5 minutes.” 

It took her 3 minutes actually. She stood in the doorway; her outfit was something you’d see a person who wanted to be comfortable wear, something odd on her. 

“I was hungover,” she said softly, i chuckled, she elbowed me in the stomach, “Asshole.” 

I led her to my room; she put her hoodie on my chair. I sat on my bed, “Thanks Viv.” 

“For what?” 

“Being here.” 

“Are we gonna fuck or not Devon? If not i will leave and return to sleeping this hangover off.” 

3rd Person POV Devon 

He didn’t respond, but she took that as an answer and grabbed at his waistband. 

She slowly pulled his pants down, letting them sit just above his knees, the same with his boxers. 

She went onto her knees, and began to kiss around his base, his heart pound softly, he might have moaned, but frankly he didn’t know. 

Vivian started to kiss up his member and began to suck. 

“Wait,” Devon said, Vivian pulled away, “I- I don’t think i can do this.” 

“Don’t think you can, or don’t want to?” 

“I- I don’t want to, sorry,” Devon’s voice was soft and apologetic. Vivian stood up and Devon pulled his pants. 

1st Person POV Devon 

“Are you gay?” She asked, it caught me off guard. 

“What?” I think i sounded a bit too nervous. 

“Are you gay? You kissed a guy at your party last night, and even if you were drunk, you don’t seem like the type of person to kiss someone you don’t like.” 

“Fuck, i forgot you were there, and maybe i am gay, i really don’t know if i am.” 

“Did you like the guy you kissed?” I just gave her my notebook and flipped it to the first time i talked about Asher in a lovey dovey way, January 8th.  

January 8th Asher kept touching my arm in class, i didn’t want him to stop, but after he noticed he was doing it, he stopped and apologized. 

“Yep, you are gay as fuck, there is no doubt about that, Devon.” 

“And who said you can decide if I'm gay or not?” I joked. 

“Maybe the fact that you fully figured out your gay while i sucked your dick? Maybe because for some fucked up reason, it's the third time this has happened?” She deadpanned. 

“Don’t make me feel bad for being gay, Viv.” 

“So you admit it?” 

“Fuck,” I just sat up to my wall on my bed and she sat on the edge near me, “I mean... I guess i am gay, just it feels so wrong.” 

“But also feels right?” 

“Yeah, I just know deep down its wrong-” 

“Fuck what’s ‘wrong’, Devon,” She ended up sitting beside me. 

“You don’t understand Viv, my mom would disown me if she found out,” I leaned my head onto her shoulder. 

“I mean, you're not at your mom’s house though, how would your dad react?” Vivian asked, she just looked at me, with one of those caring expressions. 

“He would just ask if I’m sure that I’m gay, then just support me,” I just sighed and took my head off her shoulder, “I will tell him when he gets home from his trip, so in a little bit.” 

“Want me to stay till he gets back?” 

“Yeah I guess, but wouldn’t you want to leave, the whole reason you came was cause i called you to fuck, and that clearly went well.” 

“Yeah well you’re still my friend, you have been my friend since before this weird ass situation we got ourselves into. And i care about my friends, Dev,” She gave me a soft smile, then just hugged me. 

“Thanks Viv,” I just put my head into her shoulder, i was softly crying into it, i softly whispered, “for being here.” 

“You’re welcome, Dev,” I heard the familiar sound of the door opening. 

I slowly got up and opened my door, she stayed, I went to the living room, Via was giggling her ass off, and dad was already on the couch, “Dad...? I need to talk to you and Via.” 

He muted the tv and Via sat beside him, she stopped giggling when she heard my tone. “What Devon?” 

I hesitated, but eventually just blurted, “I’m gay,” they both looked shocked, but also not. 

“Are you sure? I thought you were into Vivian?” Dad asked somewhat confused, “I’ve walked in on you two fu-” 

My face turned red, “I only just realized I’m gay... and that was different, and i really don’t want to talk about that.” 

Via was quiet, but dad kept talking, “So, you like guys? Are you actually sure you like guys? Like in a romantic way?” 

“Yes I am sure Dad, I like guys in a romantic way.” 

“And not girls as well, not even a little bit?” 

“Not even a little bit, I don’t feel anything for girls, but i definitely feel something for guys,” Via still was silent. 

“Are you into Asher?” Via blurted, my eyes widened. 

“How the fuck do you know that?” 

“I may have seen your notebook,” My face was definitely red now, i just put my head in my hands, “and watched the security cameras.” 

“Fuck,” I just walked back to my room, and stood at my door as i closed it. 

“So, how’d it go?” Vivian’s voice was cheerful as if she hadn’t listened. 

 “Fuck off, I know you were listening to the conversation,” I laughed as she stood up and got off the bed. 

“At least you did it.” 

“Yeah, at least i did, but i hate that Via knew.”