I was tired. I hadn’t slept at all last night, and I was running on energy drinks. My therapist had been adamant about one thing: never go to work after an episode. He always said it was better to stay home, to give myself the space to recover. But I couldn’t do that today. Not when I was finally meeting Malik. Not when Donovan was counting on me.
The interaction had been tough. I kept second-guessing everything I said, wondering if I was helping or making things worse. But Donovan had been steady. He knew what to say, how to guide the conversation when I stumbled. Still, I could see it in his eyes sometimes. This was taking a toll on him too.
Now that Malik left, it was just the two of us in the room. A silence settled between us, not uncomfortable, but heavy with everything unsaid.
Donovan let out a deep breath and slouched back in his chair, rubbing at his temple. “I’m scared I can’t help him,” he said, voice low. “This is triggering for me. It really is. I’m going to be honest… I’ve dealt with a lot of personal stuff, but I haven’t really faced the bullying I went through. Not really. But I’ll try to put on a brave face because I don’t want to let him down.”
I looked at him, and something inside me pulled tight. I hated thinking of him as someone who had been hurt like that. Someone who had to carry those memories around every day.
I couldn’t imagine anyone bullying someone like him. Donovan was kind. So sweet. Thoughtful in ways most people didn’t even try to be. He was as good as it got.
I caught myself slipping into old habits, thinking of him like he was flawless. I had to stop doing that. He wasn’t perfect. He didn’t need to be.
“You okay though?” Donovan asked suddenly, looking over at me with concern in his eyes. “You look tired.”
“I am tired,” I admitted, rubbing a hand down my face and letting out a low sigh. “Didn’t sleep last night. My mind was full, I guess.”
“Do you have any work for the rest of the day?” he asked, tilting his head. “Maybe you can head home?”
“I do have to get back to work. I'll be starting the high school sessions soon and I need to be there for one more briefing. I want to be as consistent as possible.”
Donovan looked disappointed, his mouth tightening for a moment. “I understand... I was going to argue with you. It's easy to get into old habits. I know you know yourself more than I do.”
“Oh Donovan, I know you care but I guess it's not like high school where I could take days off. My job requires consistency and I can't disappoint my friends.”
I shifted awkwardly in my seat, then added, “Also, they wanted to know if you wanted to come out this weekend.”
I rubbed the back of my neck, embarrassed. “I didn’t want to ask because I felt awkward, but everyone was so insistent on officially meeting you and getting to know you. Although it made me flustered thinking about how embarrassing they might be.”
“As in go out with them?” Donovan asked in confusion, leaning forward a bit.
“Yeah... Asa, Flor, and the rest of them want to get to know you more.”
The second I said Asa’s name, Donovan’s face changed.
“Asa...” he said slowly. “I need to apologize to her. I was so rude. I feel embarrassed. She didn’t deserve that.”
I didn’t pick up anything during the meeting, but Asa did tell me she felt the tension and it made her uneasy. She knew about Donovan’s and my history but she wasn’t expecting him to be that cold.
“I was jealous,” he admitted, eyes dropping to his lap. “I was jealous that she was able to comfort you and she picked up on things that I didn’t know. I was jealous that she was holding your hand and I was jealous that in my absence, other people got to know you. And I’m sorry for how I acted.”
His voice was strained and his shoulders slumped. I stood and walked over to his desk, hesitating for a moment. “Hug time?” I asked quietly, hoping he’d say yes.
“Okay.”
He stood, and I pulled him into my arms, hugging him closely. His body molded perfectly into mine as I tried to savor the moment.
“I can say that I missed us being this close more than anything else,” Donovan murmured, his voice low, vulnerable. He leaned in, resting his head on my shoulder like he wasn’t ready to let go, like staying in my arms made the world quiet for a moment.
“I love being held like this,” he added, barely above a whisper. His breath was warm against my neck, and I felt him sigh. His whole body softening, melting into mine. When he tilted his head to look up at me, his eyes were soft, almost dreamy, full of something tender and far too familiar.
The intimacy of it caught me off guard. I was slightly taken aback, not in a bad way, just… overwhelmed. Carefully, I guided him back into his chair, my hands brushing against his arms as I helped him sit. I returned to my own seat, trying to give us both a little space to breathe.
I couldn’t see a blush on his deep brown skin, but the shift in his expression gave him away. His gaze darted down for a second, then back up again, and I could see the faint, sheepish curve of a smile playing on his lips.
“It’s easy to fall into old habits,” he said with an awkward laugh, scratching the back of his neck. “But… I’d like to go out with you. Where are we going?”
“Usually we just go to a bar,” I replied, leaning back in my chair.
Donovan raised an eyebrow. “Can you even drink?”
“I can’t,” I said with a small shrug. “But I won’t kill their fun.”
He nodded, then paused, eyes flicking toward the floor as he thought about something. “Are you going to pick me up… or do I have to drive there?”
“I can pick you up,” I said immediately, without hesitation. “Of course I’ll pick you up.”
“Yes,” he said with a little victorious grin. “I hate driving. I was meant to be a passenger princess.”
That made me laugh. The way he said it, with pride and zero shame was classic Donovan. I shook my head, smiling despite myself.
I didn’t leave right away. I lingered in his office, making up excuses to stay just a few minutes longer. We talked about nothing and everything, music, work, the random office gossip he always pretended not to care about but secretly loved.
When I finally stood to go, he looked at me with a soft smile—gentle, genuine. It wasn’t dramatic or over-the-top, but something about it rooted itself inside me, warmed me from the chest outward.
🐝
I slipped quietly into the meeting room a few minutes late, my footsteps soft on the worn carpet. The air smelled faintly of coffee and paper, a familiar scent that reminded me how much work was ahead. East stood by the whiteboard, calm and precise, her pointer tracing lines across the calendar projected on the wall. Asa, Flor, and Stella were already seated, notebooks open and pens ready.
East’s voice was clear and steady as she laid out the plan. “Alright, here’s where we stand. Two high schools—Elizabeth Hawthorne and Kensington Prep—have officially signed on. Both schools want us to begin next week, so we need to make sure everything is in place.”
I slid into the nearest empty chair, trying not to draw attention. My head was still buzzing from earlier, and the exhaustion was settling deep into my bones.
Asa glanced up from her notes, eyes curious. “Are there any scheduling conflicts we should know about?”
East shook her head. “No conflicts so far. We’ve carefully divided the groups to avoid overlap and keep things manageable. Asa and Stella will take the first formers at Elizabeth Hawthorne. Jeremy and Ashton will be with the seniors at Kensington.”
Hearing my name brought me fully into the moment. I blinked, remembering the tough crowd the seniors would be, but I’d forgotten that part until East mentioned it. I kept quiet, recalling Asa’s subtle glance that reminded me not to interrupt.
Flor leaned forward, fingers tapping their notebook thoughtfully. “It’s a solid plan. I like how the groups compliment each other. It’ll make coordination easier.”
Stella nodded in agreement. “Yeah, and splitting the schools like this gives us a chance to tailor the sessions a bit more.”
East’s eyes flicked to me briefly, then back to the board. “Documentation is key. We need to track attendance, feedback, any incidents. This isn’t just casual hangouts; it’s real work.”
I shifted in my seat, the weight of responsibility settling on me. This wasn’t just another workshop, it was a chance to really make a difference. My friends looked so committed; it made me want to rise to the occasion despite how drained I felt.
Flor gave a small smile. “Also, let’s keep communication open. If anything feels off, or if we need extra support, speak up. We’re a team.”
Asa nodded again, then added quietly, “This is going to be challenging, especially with the seniors. But I believe in us.”
I caught East’s eyes for a moment. “Thanks, everyone,” I said softly, feeling the warmth of their support wash over me.
The room settled into a brief silence as we all absorbed what lay ahead. I leaned back, trying to shake the fog from my mind.
After the schedule discussion wound down, the room settled into a quieter rhythm. East took some notes, Stella checked her phone briefly, and Flor scribbled in their notebook. I rubbed my hands together, then decided it was time to say what was really on my mind.
“So,” I started, my voice a little rough from fatigue, “Malik’s session went better than I expected.”
They all looked up, interested.
“Donovan was there during the session,” I added, letting the name hang in the air.
Flor nodded thoughtfully. “What was the session like?”
I swallowed hard, feeling a mix of admiration and something more tangled inside me. “Professional. Caring. Patient in a way I hadn’t really given him credit for. He listens, without judgment. Malik felt safe enough to open up, more than ever before.”
Asa smiled softly, like she understood more than she was saying. “That’s huge. Getting someone to open up like that isn’t easy.”
I nodded, my chest tightening. “Yeah. Watching Donovan work... it hit me how good he is at this. Not just the social worker side, but how human he is. You can tell he genuinely cares. And that makes all the difference.”
Flor raised her eyebrows, clearly impressed. “Sounds like you’re surprised.”
I laughed quietly, shaking my head. “I guess I am. I’ve known Donovan for a long time, but sometimes history makes you blind to who people really are now. Today, I saw the real Donovan, focused, patient, just... present. No masks, no walls.”
My heart thumped a little faster than usual, and I wasn’t sure if it was just the lack of sleep or something deeper stirring.
East glanced over at me, her expression softening. “Sounds like this could be a strong foundation for working with Malik here at the Initiative.”
“Definitely,” I said. “If Malik feels that kind of trust with Donovan, it’s a huge step forward. And honestly... seeing Donovan like that gave me hope. Hope that things can get better for Malik, for Donovan, for me.”
I paused, feeling my throat tighten. This wasn’t just about Malik anymore.
Flor gave me an encouraging look. “That’s good, Jeremy. Hope is important.”
I smiled, though it felt fragile. “Yeah. And speaking of Donovan...” I hesitated for a moment, wondering how much to say next.
I took a deep breath and glanced around the room. Everyone was watching me now, waiting to hear what I had to say about Donovan.
“You know,” I started, trying to sound casual though my heart was pounding, “Donovan and I... we’ve been through a lot. It hasn’t always been easy, but lately, things have been changing. We’ve been... working on our relationship.”
Flor smiled softly, like they understood more than they let on. East gave me an encouraging nod. Asa’s eyes flicked toward me, steady and patient.
“Honestly,” I said, swallowing the lump in my throat, “I’ve kept a lot to myself, feelings, hopes, doubts. I don’t know what the future holds. But whatever happens, happens. I just hope Donovan’s heart is as open as mine.”
There was a pause. Maybe they saw how vulnerable I felt. Or maybe how exhausted I was.
Flor grinned. “Looks like someone’s really into him.”
I chuckled quietly, shrugging. “Maybe. Or maybe I’m just tired and overthinking.”
East folded her hands, her serious gaze softening. “We’ve been pushing you to invite him for weeks now.”
I shifted in my seat, feeling sheepish. “Yeah, I know. I kept putting it off. But I finally did it.”
The room lit up with smiles and teasing.
Stella clapped her hands. “So, it’s official, Donovan’s coming out this Friday?"
“Yeah,” I said, pulling out my phone.
Asa smiled. “It’s about time we all got to hang out.”
I felt a weight lift off my chest. “Honestly? I’m really looking forward to it.”
East glanced at her watch. “Alright, let’s wrap up before we all get too distracted.”
We laughed, the mood lightening as the meeting moved on. But inside, my thoughts were already with Donovan.
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