[Previously: One by one they got moved to other facilities, to deal with the stress we all turned to vices, one committed, overwhelmed by the increased work schedule and choosing freedom over the blackmail inevitably used against them. I turned to alcohol and a few other things but I didn’t really like not being able to work so I always stayed just self aware enough I wouldn’t have to worry about overthinking things.]
They knew the normal methods weren’t working on me anymore and my empathy was at an all time low for others and myself. I feel my memory struggle because I know I’ve blocked it out and if I push it’ll come back. I move past quickly, whatever they did, it didn’t work. I left. They literally tried to imprison me against my will but I was a public face and I’d told the world I was quitting due to hostile work environment and hours.
I was in the middle of a speech about everything we’d managed to achieve and we’d continue to achieve with more support and funding and I said it.
“This year we are also planning on…I’m retiring.” It was shocking to myself and the men onstage. “I don’t have a life and I’ve lost my passion. The hours and environment are killing me and my coworkers. I quit, this is my resignation.” I looked up and actually looked at what was around me smiling for the first time in years. I thought they were going to kill me as they dragged me offstage.
A journalist dodged the security and practically screamed that they were recording live, probably saving my life and theirs. I was dazed as they shoved a microphone in my face and demanded more details.
I shake my head as I finish toweling off Honey and then go to my room to change.
I must have still been out of it because half naked I realize I left my door open when I hear a yelp and whirl to see a soaked mercreature standing on wobbly legs. I cover myself and move to where the bed hid me from view pulling my pants the rest of the way up. I grab my shirt and look at him.
“Why are you embarrassed, do you even know what you’re looking at?”
He covers his face and nods.
“Then you should have looked away.” I scoff.
He peeks as I put on the shirt. “You have a lot of scars.”
This surprises me because when I glance at myself in the mirror I don’t see that many. “For a human or a marine biologist?”
He nods.
“It’s an occupational hazard.” I explain.
He takes a step closer and I quickly run through possible scenarios. This is indecent. He’s in my room and has previously expressed interest in me. Not only that but he’s just seen me with barely any clothes on. I realize that he’s already too close to me and I’ll need to say something soon.
“Gordon?” He asks looking up with big eyes.
It feels weird, him saying it, is it because this is the first time he’s said my name? Did he overhear it or did Andreas tell him?
He searches my face and trembling sits on the edge of the bed, “Can we talk?”
I tilt my head and move over to the other corner of the bed, “What’s wrong?”
“What happens once I get better?” He rubs his hand over the stitches on one of his legs.
“If you were a normal rescue like a seal or dolphin I’d release you back into the wild.”
He fumbles with the hoodie, “You saved me.”
I nod comfortably, “Yes it’s my job.”
“No, saving animals is your job,” he says quickly, like he’s been thinking about it.
I stop, confused.
He pauses and slumps. “Are you really going to kick me out after I get better?”
I look at him unsure whether or not to explain that I still think of him as an animal and only recently have been thinking of him as something maybe more, I’m not sure when I started. I zone out thinking about when exactly, ‘was it as soon as he spoke or after he grew legs? It was sometime while we were sitting at the kitchen table.’
He’s searching for words. “Days ago I wanted the same thing, to get healed up and go back but-” He gestures inward, “Do I really seem like just an animal to you?”
I shake my head, “yes and no,” I say slowly. ‘I think of humans as something far worse than animals most times.’
He pauses and falls back against the bed. “Are you really not curious about the lab and what I am?” He exclaims breathily then rolls towards me and curls up a little. When I don’t answer he presses. “If I don’t want to go back to the ocean will you force me?” He starts sniffling.
My eyes widen a bit before I look away frowning. I try to think about what exactly he wants from all this, ‘His obsession with humans probably has to do with being raised in a lab, wanting a family or a pod is more than likely instinctual but since he doesn’t fit in with the other mercreatures…If I release him it’s not like a seal having a chance at getting snatched by a shark he’s being actively, specifically hunted. He’ll probably die.’
“I’m not so sure anymore.” I say slowly and he stops, eyes widening with hope. “But I’m not sure if I want to be responsible for you as well.” I hesitate wondering if it’d help if I opened up a bit. “I live alone because I want to, I need to.”
“You don’t like people?”
I rest my chin on my hand, “I don’t like who I am around people.”
He holds out his hand, “You said you see me as an animal.”
I frown looking at the webbed fingers and small claws instinctively messing with the webbing. “That’s why I’m conflicted.”
“But-” He wrings his hands, “What if I just went back to acting like…”
I frown harder. “That’s not why I’m conflicted. I can feed you, treat your wounds, once you’re better you’re technically no longer my responsibility. I want to go back to my life.”
I can see fear in his eyes. I sigh, gesturing, “You aren’t supposed to be alone right? Chances of survival are higher and that’s why you’re looking for a pod?”
“There aren’t any others like me.” He says sadly but something flashes over his face.
“Are there any similar to you?” I get up deciding to brew a cup of coffee.
He follows me to the kitchen table quietly. “There’s…half-breeds but they tend to be.” He bares his teeth, “Mean and bitter. Also really smug whenever you ask for help.” He sits heavily.
I sip my coffee, ‘Half breeds.’ I raise my eyebrows and then slump my shoulders with a sigh. “I’m not going to abandon you,” I rub my temple, “I have to make sure you’re actually ready and suitable to survive in your environment.”
He wipes his eyes and lets out a shaking grateful sob, “I was so scared of being alone again.” A small wary smile appears like he’s afraid I’ll take it away again. This bothers me. But I continue anyway.
“But you can’t stay here,” I remind him, “You don’t have to worry about the details. I'll work it out later but in the end I want everyone out and my house back to myself.”
He nods looking down silent in his own thoughts. I subconsciously make him his own cup of coffee adding way more milk and sugar than coffee. He sniffs it and takes a sip, appreciative.
I look up at the ceiling thinking about mermaids, sirens, selkies, the lab. I stop and rub away the thoughts attempting to emerge. He watches me shake off the insistent, irritating thoughts.
I didn't even realize he was trying to be quiet and unobnoxious until after hours pass and I realize I haven't heard anything from him. I look up from merchandising the lab. 'Where is he?' I turn and look for him. He’s sitting mopily in the corner he had the panic attack in. I hesitate. 'He did offer to tell me more about the lab he was grown in. But with my memories threatening to return it may be unwise. Talking to him might also cause him to have another panic attack.' I turn away and slowly return to my work.
Even with my earbuds in I hear Andreas wake and call my name. Putting down my book amused at how long the mercreature would take this, proving he could let me live “by myself” with him there, thing. I knock and poke my head into the room, “How is it going?”
“Hurts.” He tilts his head, pale but smiling, happy to see me. I check the time.
“You’ll have to wait a little longer for more medicine.” I go over to sit near him and to my surprise offer my hand. I watch as he excitedly takes it. ‘Muscle memory.’ I close my eyes leaning back in the chair and listen to Andreas talk. The mercreature comes in listening, smiling as the conversation changes to include him.
"Well that shows I didn't dream up everything about the siren." Andreas touches his shoulder and the mercreature winces sympathetically. Then as Andreas gestures for him to hurry up and come over he does smiling a little shyly.
They look at my eyes being closed and head back and start whispering about how I’m always taking “naps.”
I know it’s rude to eavesdrop but as they whisper about me I also know it’s rude to gossip so I guess it evens out.
They call me old a surprising amount of times in a surprising amount of ways, touching on my habits, mannerisms, naps, looks-the only one all positive, bad temper, and memory. I have the will-power to resist snorting as though I wasn’t being extorted by them both. I lean forwards and they go silent and still but I just glance at them and their wide eyes before starting to read my book again.
Only after my watch beeps do I look up and realize the time. I let go of Andreas hand and stretch, aware that they would probably add all the popping and cracking noises to their list of things that make me old. I turn off the alarm and bring Andreas food and water as well as his medicine.
He looks unwell and tired so I hover until he eats at least half the soup before prompting him to take the medicine. He grimaces and swallows it with the water. I have other things to do, but I remind the mercreature looking at me with sad, tired eyes that, “Andreas is human, he's needs more time to recover.”
“He can stay.” Andreas touching his hand gently, “I like the company buuut,” He continues sounding embarrassed, “I am probably going to go back to sleep.”
I nod and check back in to find them both sleeping. I approach the cuddling forms to make sure the mercreature isn’t putting too much weight on Andreas. I nod once confirming he’s being careful and then leave.
I pass my bedroom and pause, with everyone taking a nap it's tempting even to just lay there. Settling down I put my watch on the bedside table with an alarm for the next medicine dose. I leave the door open just in case, so I can hear if anyone calls my name or tries to break in. I hear Honey grumble on the couch as she can’t decide if she wants to stop watching the guest room door or join for cuddles.
I partially wake to a warm body pressed against me and wrap my arms around Honey having apparently decided.
I have weird, stressful dreams, Honey is barking. I start to wake up. Realizing that she is actually barking in real life, from the kitchen, so who is... I tighten my arms. I let out a sigh as I feel scales and for some reason feel releived as well. I feel the mercreature stir and then roll to curl into me. For some reason I allow it. Dejavo of the siren. I push myself up and rub my face grabbing for my glasses to see what Honey is on about.
I check for any intruders but, other than her dashing out of the house and doing a full circle before happily woofing all the way down to the docks, it seems that everything's fine. I lean in the doorframe watching her for a while to make sure she is safe. I make a slow circle around the house not seeing anything of suspect I go back in to grab my book. As I head towards my bedroom I see that the mercreature has my pillow crushed in it's arms. 'His.'
'Boundaries.' I think to myself, 'You need to explain that even if it's comforting, that my pillow is only mine. I approach and sit wishing there were an instruction manuel for this. I touch the mercreatures arm gently and shake a little until his eyes open blearily. He seems surprised and releases the pillow a bit. I move it back to it's spot. For some reason not saying but thinking what I wanted to say, 'Please don't touch my pillow.' He seems hurt watching me and my actions. "Sorry." His ears lower a little. 'Another thing he'd have to hide.'
Then sitting up he starts as I hug him. He hugs back eagerly, holding on desperately afraid I'd let go too soon for him. I assume making soothing repetitive movements will help too so I stroke his back and he seems to enjoy it. I feel satisfaction as he rubs his face on my chest in the same way as before. I was right. I then offer verbal comfort nothing specific in particular. "It's okay."
"I think you need us Gordon even if we don't live with you."
I blink surprised at what they must have talked about in the brief time I was gone. "What do you mean?"
"Andres says humans don't do well alone long term but!" He lifts his hand eyes wide, "That we have to respect you wanting your house to yourself, something about being inverted."
I smile a bit, "Introverted?"
"Yes I think." The mercreature rubs his arms seemingly irritated that the scales were showing.
"What else did Andreas tell you?"
The mercreature flushes obviously remembering something but not wanting to say it. "He said that I have to keep reminding you to take me to the market until you remember."
I lean back with a groan putting my hand to my head, "I swear I'm not forgetting on purpose."
The mercreature nods, "You've been busy I understand." He sniff a little towards me, "Also one more thing why do you smell so strongly like a-"
"A siren?"
"A siren?!" He exclaims leaning away in fear eyes dialating and fin like ears spreading out in dismay gills split open across his neck. He makes an effort to control the transformation but then giving me a panicked look I snatch him up and carry him quickly back to the tank.
Only after the painful transformation is complete do I reassure, "It's okay I wasn't hurt or anything."
He's panting clutching my arms and letting out little noises of distress, "How, they're dangerous."
"It was hurt."
I expect him to be scared or angry but he just looks at me with the same sparkling admiration. "You helped it?"
I nod and to my surprise the mercreature tugs on me a bit. Looking shy. "Will you swim with me."
I hesitate thinking about how the mercreature acted before about the tank almost territorial and predatory compared to now with the large open eyes I've familiarized with the human side of him.
"Let me grab my trunks." I say with a sigh. "You won't be tempted to hunt or eat me right?" I laugh despite being dead serious about the question.
He makes an amused noise, "I'll be tempted if you act scared but I like you so much it'll just be playful."
I find that interesting and after grabbing my swimtrunks and premptively leaving Andreas's next meal and dose of medicine with a quick note to remember to take it. I remove my watch and change.
The mercreature lights up when I bring fish as well. 'Wouldn't want it to get too tempting,' I think to myself. I wait patiently as the merman scarfs down all of the fish like he was starving and realize I'm going to need to start fishing or setting fish traps to keep feeding him. I'm not sure my budget can handle his appetite.
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