The next day, I opened my eyes to see that the sun was rising. I sit up and look around the room. I see Aai and Nitu resting on the visitor's bed. I smile, thinking about how loved I am. Yet something feels heavy, like there's a blockage in my chest. I want to get out of bed but my legs feel too heavy, like heavy rocks are tied to my leg.

I look at my mom and Nitu. And suddenly, all the things happened last night, came crashing in my head. It feels like I have fallen in water and can't get out. It's burning up my face, It's suffocating. I am breathless even though I am not really drowning.

Breathe. I tell myself as I grip my hospital dress strongly.

"Breathe..." I hear a voice inside my head

I want to...but it's feels too heavy..

"Don't worry, just breath..."

Don't worry, you say? What if something like yesterday happens again...

"That was yesterday, so just breath for now!"

"You know Nani was just heavily injured right? she is not dead! She can come again!" I think to myself as I feel my breathing getting heavier by second.

"Stop. You are making it worse" voice in my head shouts to me in desperation 

IT WAS THE WORSE! I couldn't even land a punch on her! Nitu could have died yesterday. Roshan, who had done nothing to do this, got involved and was heavily injured too. We all could have died yesterday. ALL BECAUSE I WAS NOT STRONG ENOUGH!

The thought tore into me.

I couldn’t sit still anymore.

I stumbled out of bed, instinctively running toward the window, thogh it seemed like it was out of reach

Throwing it open, I gasped for air.

The cold morning breeze hit my face.

I wasn't feeling like I was drowning anymore, but the heaviness 

"Nilu?" I hear my mom calling out my name. I look at her smiling faintly.

I go to her and put my hands on her head.

"I will be fine" I say to her as looks at me solemnly. "You will be fine....like you didn't see her yesterday when I asked you?" She taunts me

"I am sorry, mom" I say while avoiding her eyes. But the heaviness didn't leave me..

"You are getting very rebellious" she says while she clasps her hand with mine

"What's with the gloominess in this room?" Adinath Mama enters as the room

She looked at me solemnly.

"You'll be fine... like you didn’t see her when I asked you yesterday?" she said, bitterness lacing her words.

I looked away, guilt squeezing my throat.

"I’m sorry, Aai," I whispered.

"You’re getting very rebellious," she sighed, but she clasped my hand tightly in hers.

Before I could respond, the door swung open.

“What’s with the gloominess in this room?”

Adinath Mama’s cheerful voice filled the air as he entered.

We looked at him and mom smiled faintly. She went to him and tried to reach his head. She has always been tiny and frail. Adinath Mama bends down so that she could touch his head and she begins fixing his hairs. For the longest time, that has always been how my mother greets her brother. I could see Adinath Mama smiling faintly. When she finally let him go, He stood up straight and said "Jiju is here and coming to this room."

As he completes his sentence, my father enters the room. As always, he is wearing his blank, expressionless face and yet I could see that his worries were filled to the brim.

He looked at me and gestured to come near him. I went and stood right in front of him, unable to look into his eyes

"I am sorry for everything Baba" I said to him while still looking at the floor

I could hear him sigh....not disappointed, but maybe something else...it felt his vibes got more relaxed with that sigh

He ruffled my hair and said "Why are you apologising for someone else's evil? You did nothing wrong"

He then hugged me close. I could feel myself smiling faintly and hugged him back. He has been my biggest pillar of support throughout my life and even now I could feel my worries melting in my mind. I feel my mom and Mama are also hugging us too

Nitu wakes up with all the noise and decides to join us. And with that I don't even remember what I was thinking so desperately about.

Dr Kabir walks in and asks us to be seated.

I ask him how Roshan is and he tells me that he is fine physically but seems that he is mentally exhausted and refuses to talk about it. 

A sharp pang struck my chest again.

Here it is again, I thought.

Dr. Kabir reached into his pocket and handed me a small slip of paper with Roshan’s number scribbled on it.

“He wanted to tell you something,” he said.

“I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but I assure you—he’ll be fine. He’s been through a lot in life… and every time, he’s found a way to rise again.”

He smiled gently, and somehow, just seeing that gave me hope.

Adinath Mama asked Dr Kabir if I could roam around a little, he said yes. Mama looked at me, as if he won a lottery and gave me a wink.

That made me snicker a little. He has always been this goofy guy, who I know I can rely on.

I expected Aai to protest, but didn't. Instead, she took my father's hand and asked him to sit with her. He agreed. He has always listened to whatever my mother has told him, no questions asked. If she said she wanted to go somewhere aboard for vacation, he would do everything in his power to make it happen. One time, she mentioned in passing how beautiful a flower was and how she wished she could grow it in our garden, he researched about it and within 10 days, the flower was planted in our garden. Their love is and has always been subject to people's jealousy and awe, though they are always in their own little world and rarely cares what people have to say.

As I left the room, I glanced back to see my mother resting her head on his shoulder and falling asleep.