And suddenly it was twelve years into the future. Not that I could tell. My eyes barely creaked opened and I slowly rolled my head from side to side to bring myself back into the world. The pod top shifted open and lifted out of the way. I opened my eyes the rest of the way now, while an invisible strain was pulling my eyelids shut.

                I squinted, and for the first time I didn't move for over a minute. Just blinked mindlessly at the ceiling as the ceiling stood still, before swaying ever so slightly, and then returning to it steadfast stillness. I rolled over to see the rest of my room. As I moved, everything around me swayed around as well before returning to normal.

                I rolled into a sitting position, head falling into my hands while it spun ever so lightly, around and around. I felt a shiver sail through my body, reaching my skin. This was worse than the first time, and far worse than the second time. My face scrunched together in a grimace as an announcement came on to congratulate us once more, this time from the head director rather than from Milton.

                "Welcome back, and congratulations for making it this far! This will be the last week of activity before we sleep one last time and then land at our destination. And although the past cryo-freezes got progressively longer, you may remember that this next one will be only a ten-year freeze before landing. Again, this is a huge accomplishment, and you should all be proud." The director paused for a moment unexpectedly, "Today, we are not having the regularly planned celebrations. There are some additional announcements that your Level Lead will be providing to you once each passenger is at their usual recreation room. Please get ready and arrive within the next half an hour. Thank you!"

                I sat on my bed for another minute, feeling my head slowing to a sway and become more manageable. My thoughts drifted towards a single moment from... yesterday. Thinking of it as yesterday just didn't seem right, it was like a lifetime had passed with no memories in a blink. One of the most peculiar feelings. And I realized that what I needed most at that moment was to stop thinking and get some water.

                I stretched out slowly, feeling my body begin to work again, my muscles strain, my heart quiet to a rhythmic dub. I stood up with a hand out to steady myself, and stretched again even deeper and wider. I felt a yawn push its way out, with mouth wide open and eyes scrunched closed. I took a second before opening my drawer and ruffling through different clothes to find exactly the outfit I had in mind. Comfortable yet stylish. I changed quickly and pushed the curtain half open. Other curtains were open, and others were already on their way. I took a step out of my room and glanced to my right to see Lunëne's curtain still closed.  I paused for a moment, hesitating for a second while I listened for any movement.

                I took another step further down the hall, then paused again, looked back at their room, before then continued down the hallway towards the rec room. I would see them later, and I didn't want to be weird about what had happened.

                There was an odd silence as I approached the rec room, just a hint of several conversations carrying to the hall outside. I walked into a far more reserved and less festive atmosphere. Milton was by the front door, glancing at every person that walked in and making a note on a tablet in his hand. I saw the same tables as last time, now on the left side of the room.

                I looked around, finding a few familiar faces but no one that I was close with. I walked over to the table for a drink, and then a second one, trying to not seem as desperately thirsty as I was. I wandered over to the food to look over the options, picking up one of the best-looking options.

                "Can I have everyone's attention? We're all here, so we'll go ahead and start. I'm sure you've all noticed that there isn't the same celebration this year. Unfortunately, I have some bad news. There's no easy way to say this... we lost some people this past cryo-sleep. Four of our fellow passengers have passed away." The Lead paused, looked down for a moment, and then gathered his thoughts. There were scattered gasps and a few people who whispered to themselves or the person next to them.

                "We believe it is related to another incident. We have been traveling through an unexpected debris field of a disrupted planet. The path is mostly clear now, but we did experience minor damage to the ship that had needed to be repaired and had caused intermittent ship issues. I want to take a moment to honor those that passed away, as we spend time to appreciate how far we've come and acknowledge the friends we still have with us."

                I could feel my heart drop and the room seemed to echo. I struggled to focus on anything. In fact, I felt a bit sick. Where was Lunëne? And Bryn and Audrina? I wouldn’t see Garland, Valentin, Silas, or Ellisa until later… I only faintly heard Milton continue.

                "Let's have a moment of silence for those passengers now." He paused, and the room went silent. Nobody was moving. I glanced around quickly. My feet felt frozen in place and my hands felt cold. "Thank you. We'll be having a full memorial later on today. I would also like to reassure you all that we're almost out of the debris field and the maintenance team guaranteed that we will not be having any more issues."

                There was another pause before he continued, "And finally, some big news from back home. This one is better news; I think you'll be kind of excited about this one. Several years after we left, there were some advances in technology that led to the team back home deciding to have another launch, also headed to the same planet as us. This new ship can hold 170 passengers, and due to the new propulsion tech they have, it will arrive just about three years before us. Meaning we will be joining them and getting to know more people... so more friends! And very likely an easier transition with that crew having a head start on getting the settlement up and running."

                The reaction throughout the room was mixed. We were on such a monumental journey that we had dedicated our lives to, just for it to suddenly change in such a profound way. We would no longer be first to arrive to the planet. Well, there was the first ship that landed of course, but we wouldn't be the first to settle on the planet. To be envious of that initial labor that we would no longer be responsible for, as if it somehow was taking away from the honor of being the adventurers that we already are... it was a bit deflating and yet comforting all at once.

                "Questions?" Milton asked. A hand raised in front of me.

                "They left after us and are going to arrive before us? Are they bringing any other technology, like being able to communicate with our families faster or build the settlement faster?" An unfamiliar voice inquired.

                "Not that I'm aware of, our timeline for building the settlement seems to be the same. That would be great though." Milton paused to look around the room, and another hand went up. "Yes, go ahead."

                "So, do we know who was sent on the other ship? We might actually be reuniting with people we know from back home?"

                "Great question. I don't have a list of names, so I'm not sure. It was the same merit-based system that chose all of us though." Milton replied, "Anyone else?"

                I raised my hand tentatively, different questions swirling around in my mind, immediately landing on the most important one.

                "The passengers that passed away... um, who are they?" I asked hesitantly. I cleared my throat, adding a little bit louder, "Like their names?"

                "Oh damn, I'm so sorry," Milton glanced down towards the notes he held in his hand, "I thought I said that, I'm really sorry. Those passengers are Raphael, Lena, Odalis, and Bryn. We're having the memorials all together in the cafe at 3pm today. If any of you were friends with or close to any of those four, or if you have concerns you want to talk about, or you just want to talk at all, my door is open. Please meet up with me or any of the other floor Leads, they'll be at the memorial as well. Bryn was on our floor, and Lena, Raphael, and Odalis were on the upper floor."

                Milton again looked around the room. "Any other questions?" He asked again. The room was quiet and still. There was a heaviness in the air. "I know this was a lot. Feel free to decompress here, take it easy. Enjoy some snacks, play some games, let me know if you need anything or have more questions. I'll be around."

                I felt queasy. I gripped the plate I was holding too tightly, looking down at it. I felt sick, and my eyes were threatening to tear up. Bryn. I had just talked to him 'yesterday'. I turned towards the wall and tried to blink away my thoughts and tears that had welled up.

                And I tried to push away the guilt I felt. There was a moment of pure relief that washed over me when Milton didn't say Lunëne. I was really worried, actually terrified of what names he was going to read off. I shouldn't be relieved that it wasn't the one I was most worried about.

                I glanced at the plate in my hand, a slice of completely uneaten cake sitting there now suddenly plain and unappealing. I put it back on the table, hiding the side I had bent from gripping too tightly under the corner of another plate.

                "Not feeling hungry?" I heard Lunëne ask from behind me. I turned with my blank expression and eyes still widened and glassy, forgetting to smile for a moment. "You knew Bryn, right?"

                "Yeah." My heart skipped a beat, and I smiled unsteadily to lighten the mood. After a moment, it fell off my face. I wasn't sure what expression to make. Nothing seemed appropriate, and I absolutely did not want to start crying in the middle of this room. "We hung out a few times. He's pretty cool, I just..." I trailed off. I met Lunëne's gaze and gave a half smile and a half shrug.

                "I'm so sorry." They paused, and glanced around the room for a moment. "Wanna head back to my room? We can just kinda hang out and talk."

                "Yeah... yeah of course." I tossed my empty cup in the trash and followed Lunëne out the door and into the hall.

                I could feel my heart pounding as I snuck glances over at them. We hadn't really spoken much since... what happened. I wondered if their intentions were to start up from where we left off, or really just hang out and talk. Their occasional smiles over towards me were reassuring at least.

                We arrived at their room, and they open the curtain while motioning for me to enter. I walked in and sat on the bed, dropping like I had a monumental weight on my shoulders. They closed the curtain and walked gingerly over to the bed to sit down next to me, gently leaning into me. My heart fluttered, and I felt the swirl of thoughts slow and go still. There was a moment of peaceful silence.

                "You got pretty close with him, didn't you?" They broke the silence, leaning their head back to look at me.

                "Well... I mean, it seems so dumb to think we were close. We met a couple weeks ago. I mean, technically years ago obviously. But we spent only a little more than a week together. He was really cool. Fun to work out with, funny too. I think he'd say we were friends." I stopped to think for a moment. "Actually, this is really dumb but I think he was into me. He was... kinda flirty. I don't know though, I'm so bad at knowing when someone is flirting."

                "Yeah, I can tell." Lunëne joked. "I don't know, I can see it. You two would have made a cute couple."

                I looked over at felt a smile break out as I rolled my eyes.

                "Yeah, could you imagine? I barely made it through one week of daily exercise. He was really great at encouraging me though. Every time I was ready to give up, he was right there beside me, all like 'You got this, I believe in you. Don't give up, not if I have anything to say about it, I won't let you' and stuff like that..." I stopped as I felt a sudden lump in my throat and my eyes were threatening to start leaking again. I fidgeted with my hands, feeling their eyes looking at me.

                "Hey, it's normal to be really broken up by something like this. And you were there for me last week, so you know I'm here for you now." They reassured me gently. I looked back at them and felt the tears escape, rolling down my face.

                "Oh my goodness... I honestly still feel so dumb crying about it, but that was so sweet, and I did like him— and also, I thought it might have been you, cuz I didn't see you until after he said it was Bryn so I was scared but then felt so guilty because, like thank god it wasn't you, but also... I liked him, he was so nice." I blubbered, and then laughed before crying even more. "Sorry, it was just a rollercoaster."

                "Oh no, I'm so sorry I scared you like that!" A look of compassion filled their face. Their hand reached out to wrap around my waist. "I wish I had known him. You can tell me all about him."

                I leaned towards them instinctively, just wanting to melt into the comfort they were giving me. They scooched back on the bed, shifting back against the wall, and repositioned their arm around my shoulder while tenderly pulling me towards them.

                My head rested on their stomach, sliding into their lap. They shifted their legs to make me more comfortable, and they cautiously ran their fingers through my hair. I moved my arm up and rested my hand on their leg, now crisscrossed. Every few seconds, I moved my hand to my face to wipe away new tears.

                That moment is the most tender, intimate memory that I have, out of every moment I can remember on the spaceship.