CREAK SHUT

“...”

I closed the main door behind me and began walking across the street. The month has changed. It was already the last month of the year. No, Christmas is still very far. Yet, the winds have picked up their pace. They were almost kicking me in the stomach through my double-layered jacket. As the wind blew past me, it accompanied a bunch of dry leaves and some winter insects. Winters suck but this was the worse. 

I was walking through the neighbourhood towards the market area. The sky was clear blue with no streaks of white running across.

“Ah, just like that day,” I said aloud.

As I walked past the station, I was in the market area now. The variety of shops one can find here is limitless. There was a newspaper shop, bakery, restaurants, coaching centres, banks, consultancy offices, game centres, medical shops, movie theatres and anything you would ever need in life. I wondered if there are people who have visited every single building in this area. 

“That person must be non-existent.”

We humans, even though wanting to do a lot of things in our lives, oftentimes have to settle for much less. Life is a story about sacrifices after all.

Our meeting spot was close but yet three and a half kilometres from my house. It was only reasonable to take a ride. The next bus would come in seven minutes. I decided to wait at the bus stop. As I waited, I saw a mother of two carrying her children in a baby trolley pass by. No, I didn't wonder how they would grow up to be, but rather the first thought that crossed my mind was how she would manage her two kids. Most women in their thirties would do a job to bring in supplemental income for the family.

“Will she be able to handle her work and her two kids well and become a good parent?” I wondered.

Good parenting is always associated with freedom. One where the children were given full autonomy to grow and decide for themselves. Parents should only suggest what they think is good, but it is up to the children to decide. Whether they want to follow it or have other ideas in their mind. Parents definitely cannot ask or command their children to do certain things. They had to have trust in their children that they would succeed. Children are the future, but that future is of their own and not of their parents. They are not to serve as mere second chances for our parents to fulfil their abandoned dreams.

SHRIEK

The bus came in. It was an old and rusty bus, probably about 30 years old now. Rust was peeling off its body from everywhere. Even the floor, despite being nickel-coated, has rusted over time. Holes and broken frames show all over the inner body. Crying out loud in pain every time the brakes were applied. Yet it somehow held itself going. As if it were fighting against the very nature of being alive. This much fighting spirit was something not everyone could have in them. I stepped on the bus and took a seat near the window. The seat was not especially bad.

“How far?” The bus conductor was collecting the tickets.

“Bompas,” after telling him my destination, he gave me a thin, rectangular white strip of paper that came out of the ticketing machine he held in his hands. In black ink, there was “BOMPAS” and “5:22 PM” written on it in a typewriter font, along with a bunch of different labels.

“16 Rupees,” the conductor demanded.

“...”

I reached for my sling bag and pulled out a 20 Rupee note, and handed it over. After putting the change away, I went back to staring out of the window. As the bus moved on, dawn would fall over the city, and a strange sense of joy would erupt in the marketplace. The city of Kolkata is really cruel in its name. Those who enjoy it call it “The city of Joy”. But those who don’t cannot call it any different. They are doomed to live a desperate life in joy.

SHRIEK

After a while, my stop had come. I carefully walked out of the bus so as not to give it more pain than necessary. As the driver accelerated it a loud growl came out of its engine, signifying its pride and never-lasting fighting spirit, and the bus went back into motion.

The location was still 200 metres from here. As I began walking, I noticed the Moon had risen. It was the third day of its waxing phase. The sky was clear. As a result, far more stars were visible tonight.

.

.

.

After walking for about 10 more minutes. I was finally here. Without wasting a moment, I began climbing the stairs to the roof. Man, why does this building have no lift? Lifts should be standard in all buildings with more than 2 floors. It’s just way more efficient. But, not that grumbling would bring about a change.

“Again, late,” I said as I opened the door to the roof.

I put down my bag and pulled out the tripod. After carefully adjusting its height using the knobs, I placed a mat on the floor and put the camera on it. The lens was still attached to it from last night. I pulled out the base from the tripod and attached the camera to it before sliding it back in.

“All set now.”

Being it over a week she is teaching me I could do this myself already. Had anything not improved, though, it was her timing.

KLICK KLICK SHRUTTER

I took a base shot at a very low shutter speed to judge the focus. As expected, it was terrible. After adjusting the focus in the live view using the focus ring, I took another shot.

KLICK KLICK SHRUTTER

“Looks good to me,” I said, looking at the screen.

I then positioned my camera to capture a group of stars. I pushed the aperture to 2.8 and increased the ISO to 1600. As the sky was quite clear, the stars appeared quite bright already. So, I kept the shutter speed at 10 seconds as the starting point. I then took several pictures of the sky, fine-tuning the parameters in the process.

.

.

.

“This one is jittery, this one, ummm, not so sharp, again a jittery one…”

CRREEAAK

As I was skimming through my gallery, I heard the creaking noise of the door. As the door opened, a cold wind blew through it. It was chilly and scary. I turned around in surprise, but only to see a girl wearing a full-sleeved white sweater and a white skirt beneath. She is like those cartoon characters who wear the same clothes all the time. Maybe her wardrobe has several sets of the same clothing.

“Good evening, Chhaya.”

“...” she nodded lightly.

She came closer and glanced over my setup for a moment before putting down her bag on the floor. She crouched and then brought out her equipment and began preparing her setup.

“We are taking pictures of a planet today,” she said, fixing her tripod.

“A planet?”

“Yes, Jupiter, to be exact.”

“Jupiter?” I said, before turning towards the sky.

“You cannot distinguish it from the stars. It would be only visible in a telescope. But for now, we will take some pictures of it with our cameras,” she said, placing the camera on the tripod.

“But where is it located in the sky?”

“Wait,” she said trying to twist the screw below her camera. She sure was taking her time doing it.

“You want any help?”

“It’s just gotten old,” she bent down and turned her head, pointing at the base of the tripod. She then tried twisting the nut below the tripod. She pulled her hair back and tied it in a low ponytail. She was having a hard time trying to fix the camera on the tripod.

“You sure don’t want any help?”

“No.”

It was pretty dark out on the roof. There was a light, but it faced the door. I grabbed my phone and turned on the flashlight.

“No, don’t turn on the flashlight.”

“You are struggling to see the nut.”

“No, I can see it. Don’t turn on the flashlight.”

She asked that twice. Guess she really does mean it. I turned off the flashlight and sat on the mat. Wait, hold on. A man should always help a woman at times like this. She might be just hesitant and not want to ask for help. But that should not stop me from helping her.

I got up and mustered the courage to get near her. She is not that scary for me now like before, but still being that close to the opposite gender is not something I am very used to.

“Let me help,” I said while searching for the nut beneath the tripod’s base.

“...” She moved her hands away from the tripod and got up.

After searching for a minute in the dark, I found the nut, but it was quite hard to twist. How does she do it every night? I took a deep breath and gave it another go. It didn't even budge.

“Be careful,” she said, pausing in between the words.

“Yeah, don’t worry. I am too broke to afford a new one for you.”

I twisted the nut with all my might. Man, why won’t it move? Does she even maintain the tripod regularly or not? After several attempts, it finally moved. I screwed the nut tight and got up.

“There you go.”

“Okay.”

“...”

Wow, man, girls with their hair tied up look way different. The tie was done in a hurry. Her bangs fall from behind her ears, and a thin strand fell over her face. It was messy, but it gave her a totally new look. If the Chhaya with her hair down was the standard, then this is definitely premium for me. 

“What?” she asked, puzzled.

“Ah, n-nothing, it’s just, you know, you look good in a ponytail. You should tie up your hair more often.”

SWISH

She removed the hair tie, and her hair fell naturally over her back. We were back to the standard Chhaya now. Ah, she must not like my compliment. She turned away and bent down, staring at the camera screen, adjusting some parameters.

“Is your focus ready?”

“Yeah, I also took a few shots before you arrived.”

“Good, so let’s get right away to the session,” she said, standing up.

“Sure.”

“Take a look there,” she said, pointing towards the east, “You would see four stars near the horizon lined up.”

“Yeah, I can barely see them,” I said, squinting my eyes.

“The third from the top is Jupiter. It’s barely visible as a star. But it is a planet.”

“Wait, that is Jupiter?! It’s really hard to tell it apart from the rest of the stars.”

“Jupiter is too far to be visible to the naked eye. Even Mars or Venus would have been seen as stars,” she explained.

“Oh, so you need a telescope to see them?”

“Yes, without a telescope it’s merely a star.”

“How can you tell them apart?” I asked.

“It involves some mathematical calculations to predict when a star, constellation or planet would be visible. It’s quite complex and unrelated to photography, so I will skip it for now.”

“Oh, I see.” I wonder if every astrophotographer does it.

“So, let's try taking Jupiter in the frame. Make sure to place it in the middle of the frame.”

“Sure.”

We both went to our setups and rotated the camera eastwards. I started with a base setup of low shutter speed and ISO but a wide aperture.

KLICK KLICK

.

SHRUTTER

The image showed a bright star, which I suppose was Jupiter. It also accompanied several other stars.

SHRUTTER

Chhaya’s camera just finished taking the shot. She must have set the shutter speed longer. I went towards her and glanced over her screen.

“Wait, are those…” I pointed to the tiny dot-like stars just beside Jupiter.

“Jupiter’s moons. You could not capture it because you set the shutter speed too fast. To capture the moons, too, you should set it slower and increase ISO.”

“Ah, got that. So, the smaller the object more time it takes to capture it.”

“Exactly. The smaller the object, the less light that comes from it and thereby the longer the time required to expose it properly. Some stars are so small that it’s not possible to increase the shutter speed without avoiding trailing. So in those cases, you need to increase the ISO or the aperture too.”

“Oh, understood,” I nodded and went back to my camera screen.

I adjusted the parameters to the right amounts and took a shot again.

KLICK KLICK

.

.

SHRUTTER

“Wow, Chhaya, you are a genius. I can see the moons,” I said, showing her my screen.

“You have lost a lot of stars in the process, but it’s okay. The moons are pretty clear.”

“One, two, three, eh? How many did Jupiter have anyway?”

“More than 90 are recognised.”

“90 Moons?!” I did hear larger planets like Jupiter and Saturn have many moons, but to have this many. 

“The sky has all sorts of amazement hidden in it. Good things are always hidden behind a veil,” she said, looking up to the sky.

“True,” I followed her and looked at the stars in the sky.

“It feels weird that we all are sharing the same sky. But we all have many different interpretations of it. For a normal person, it might be another starry night. But, for me, the stars bring us a ray of hope. Even when our sun has set, the suns from other solar systems and even other galaxies are still illuminating the sky. No matter how dim they are, they are still trying their best. They want us to keep going. They are telling us not to worry, that they are still there to support us.”

“You could be a good poet, Chhaya!” I said, chuckling.

“...”

She lowered her gaze for a moment.

“Ahan, do you have something that has been bothering you?”

“...”

“Well, I do have something that has been bothering me for a while,” she glanced at me and then continued, “You were trying to kill yourself that night, right?”