I touch the water instantly, getting his attention. He grins large, sharp, teeth tilted inward at me. Swimming closer he curls a little showing off how well his tail is healing. Exposing his stomach a bit as he floats comfortably, he reaches out. I move my hand towards his and for a second I wonder if he’s going to snatch it and drag me in. 

He moves a little closer touching my palm and then moving up to my wrist. “You’re nervous.”

“Your teeth.” I tilt my head, “And behaviours are a bit disconcerting.”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to.” He says, sounding a bit disappointed. Even his voice is different, more toothy and hissing. He closes his mouth a bit more to offer a more human-like smile and lays his arms over my lap looking up at me. “I’m just happy you’re here.” He rubs his scaly face on my arm and then presses forwards to wrap his arms around me pouts, “I hate transforming back, I wish I was human.”

I acknowledge by touching his, what could be mistaken as hair. 'It's definitely a mimicry thing. I can imagine all the evolutionary benefits.' I watch the ears move, knowing he must have good hearing with the amount of control he has of them and I admire the finlike ridges on the ends. The siren’s “ears” were real fins and weren’t to let sound in as far as I could tell he had a hole behind them not a whole ear structure. 

“You get that look whenever you’re working.” He observes as he looks up at me. “And it’s funny you find me scary.”

A little insulted, I sit up straighter, “What do you mean?”

“Andreas and I call it the mad scientist look, you get it whenever something work-related interests you.” He makes a laughing noise and keeps smiling to insist it’s not meant to be mean.

“Mad scientist?”

“It’s like you want to dissect something.” His smile changes to a shudder and he presses into me tightly. It sounds like he triggered himself as his voice quakes. “I know you’re not like them, I know you’re not a bad scientist.” 

“My career is to save marine creatures.” ‘I only dissect animals already dead if I’m trying to find the cause of death, but I’m not going to tell him that right now.’ I lift his head and he grabs the sides of the tank and lifts himself up so we’re eye to eye. Except he’s avoiding my eyes.

“I know.” His ears move a little again and he peeks at me. 

“I’m only reassuring you.” I nod agreeing. I force myself not to hold onto the ladder, instead observing the mercreature in front of me. The simple gray coloring and scales, the fins that have grown back. The way the personality of the merman is so much more confident and comfortable in water. It’s so strange how different but similar he looks when in each form. I recognize him immediately but it seems only the eye color stays the same. I startle out of my, proving him right, thoughts and see the way he’s looking at me. Making his own notes I suppose. 

“You said I have to ask next time.” He says looking a little flushed.

I take an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out what he’s talking about. 

By now he’s moved closer, he looks up, searching my eyes and then looks back down. 

“May I?” He rubs his cheek against my face a little waiting for a response.

“The purpose of asking is to wait for an answer but yes that’s fine.”

He looks at me confused, “I haven’t done it yet?”

I assume it’s about swimming with him, “Oh yeah, just give me a second to prepare.” 

He gets excited letting me push him away. He swims in a circle and gets even more excited as I enter the water. I don’t immediately swim directly towards him, instead treading water and then making a small lap around the tank. He giggles and joins alongside me, barely moving his body to glide along with ease. I can tell he’s trying really hard not to touch me. I wonder if it’s instincts or maybe wanting me to get more comfortable first. 

I take a deep breath and dive. He dives as well watching me from a relaxed upside down position before I swim to the bottom of the tank. He circles me lazily, keeping his distance. I let out a few bubbles and watch as he makes some of his own. Floating criss-crossed I watch as he adjusts to rest on the bottom of the tank. 

He looks so happy curling and rolling like a cat in contentment but avoiding getting too close. I’m so curious as to why. Attempting to find out, I approach a little, noticing the little shiver going through his body and how he stares not unlike the siren but forcibly breaks it a few times. I wonder if my body language is too direct or aggressive to them. 

I break eye contact observing his reaction afterwards then reach forwards. He does the same thing reaching for my hand, hesitating then touching my palm and working up to my wrist. This time he grips it and pulls me forwards. The prey drive triggers and my heart starts pounding. The mercreature quickly redirects to guiding my hand to his chest. I’m confused until I realize it’s to show his heart is pounding too. 

I laugh a little reassuring myself, ‘Of course.’ 

The merman swims around me slowly in a circle, much closer now and subtly brushing a hand here, a fin there before straight up rubbing up against me. The level of comfort and relaxation rises and I occasionally join in, careful of healing wounds. Finally after my lungs run out I stand and push off gently to head to the surface. He follows concernedly and obviously trying to decide whether or not he needed to assist since my ascent is apparently too slow for him.

I break through to the air and catch my breath waiting to see if he’ll surface. He curls around my body, tangling my legs. I take another deep breath as I’m dragged down by the weight. He’s aware watching to see if I panic and then when I just raise an eyebrow, smiles which he quickly hides, remembering his teeth. Leaning forwards to rub his face against mine he tentatively pulls back to observe me, smiling much more carefully this time. 

‘I shouldn’t make him hide parts of himself.’ I reach forwards and try to get him to smile with his teeth, showing it’s okay now, I just needed to adjust but as soon as both hands touch his face he becomes serious. We continue to sink. I barely notice because I’m trying to carefully untangle my legs from him when he presses his mouth against mine.

I gasp and then choke, coughing out water. His response is to panic and I remember something I’d apparently forgotten to unpack when he showed me. He controls the water forming an instant air bubble around my head so I can replenish my oxygen and apparently finish coughing, all while he inconveniently, anxiously wraps more and more around me. Tail now completely immobilizing my legs. He holds my head eyes wide, I hyperventilate looking around at the small, impossible bubble. His eyes soften and he makes a sorry expression and shrugs. 

This time I don’t immediately start suffocating as he presses his mouth against me. He presses one hand against the back of my head the other around my shoulders and it suddenly clicks what exactly he’d been asking permission for. I feel guilty as I can’t return it the way he probably wanted and hoped. He’s trying so hard too. 

‘I’m going to hurt his feelings. What a strange thing to be worried about when you’re all tangled in the tail fin of an apparently magical creature. Completely at its mercy. Unable to move while it’s kissing you as though in a soap opera; I can only imagine he learned this from watching television while home alone.'

I don’t resist or pull away though. I don’t protest or tell him to stop. 

'So maybe I’m coming up with excuses so I’m technically not in the wrong, letting this happen.' 

I get hit by a surge of guilt as he makes the happiest noise in his throat. We've sunk enough that he can pin me against the bottom of the tank. 

“You’re not pulling away.” He breathes, giving me a few chaste kisses and then looking at me. I’m afraid of what my facial expression will betray and turn my face away quickly. He looks at me brushing a webbed thumb over my flushed cheek then kisses it cutely. Purring, “You’re embarrassed.”

‘That’s true,’ I think, closing my eyes tightly, my heart pounds, ‘I need to stop this, it’s…is it wrong?’ My thoughts are a blur as I attempt to find an answer, ‘He’s not human but that doesn’t bother me. It was a misunderstanding and he’s the one in control.' I struggle a little, finding out quickly that I’m not going anywhere. So, if I really want a freebie I could relax and… I try to find some alternative that won’t hurt the mercreatures feelings but it’s getting harder and harder as he continues touching and purring. Kissing and now teasing he pulls answers out of me insisting I respond.

“Are you okay?”

“Are you sure.”

“Do you still have enough air?”

I nod for every question.

He kisses me on the mouth again, lighter, more inquisitive.

“Is this still okay?” He asks and for a second I have a chance to stop it. I catch my breath and think about it…then wrap my arms around his body. He lets out a relieved noise and lowers back down onto me and this time I control the kiss. He gasps for air and pulls away to wet his gills before returning and pressing a few more kisses asking, “Is this okay?” Mouthing my neck. “I won't bite, I promise.” 

'God I wish he didn't breathe out while talking like that.' I nod. 

I regret that immediately when the change causes me to feel something that I might actually regret. I writhe unfortunately, enjoying it, seeing this he continues and finally I can’t handle it anymore pushing him away a little. 

I search his eyes and he finally sees something’s wrong but again misinterprets. 

“You’re not taking advantage of me.” He pins my wrists besides my head and looks at my flustered face. “Try to overpower me, try to force me, right now.”

I don’t need to try to feel how completely and utterly pinned I am under the merman, I remember how heavy he was from when I had to carry him.

“You’re not a bad person.” He insists.

I don’t know why he felt like he had to say that but it affects me. I look away. “I shouldn’t have allowed it.” I feel the guilt come back like a wave getting stronger and stronger as I recall, “I shouldn’t have pressed back or encouraged it.” My pain increases.

“If you want to stop we can,” he slowly releases my wrists and then lays on my chest, “But not without you knowing I really, really enjoyed that, I like you more than anyone I’ve ever met before.” He rubs his face on my chest for a second and then glances up. “I could tell you felt guilty during it too so be mad at me not yourself.” 

I start a little, ‘He felt my guilt but kept pushing knowing I’d give in?’ I have to take a second to push the churning emotions down, with my apathy taking control I return to my only comfort, work. 

I can’t resist. I divert my attention to the air bubble, “How are you able to do this?”

He looks at it and plays with the water making little spheres move through the air bubble.

“I don’t know, I just can. Other mercreatures can do similar things.” He disappears with a ripple then reappears. 

I observe that I was kind of able to see an outline, 'so it's reflection of his surroundings. Science can explain that bit but to control the enviroment around him...' 

“A lot of the things I can do I found out by accident.” He presses into me again and touches his mouth to my neck causing me to tense a little but it's just placed there. “Do you think I don’t know when someone is trying to manipulate or take advantage of me?” He shocks me a little as he slowly unwraps his tail. “You’re free to go.” He looks away and blinks his eyes a few times. I'm sure he’s crying.

“I don’t think I’m manipulating you,” I say slowly confused.

“Do you think I’m manipulating you?” He pouts which looks very similar to when he’s in his human form.

“I’m a little upset you knew I felt guilty and kept going, I’m ashamed of myself for giving in.”

“You!” He looks back tears now streaming down his face, within the bubble, “You are stupid and confusing why can’t you keep it simple?! You want it, you like me then that's that. All your guilt is dumb, I’m an adult, I’ve had multiple mating seasons with multiple partners!” He turns and gestures before returning to the air bubble after realizing I can’t hear him unless he’s within it, “Yes I’m stuck here while healing but I have the whole ocean I can go back to if you were a bad person. I still might have to go back because you want to be alone but I want to love you!” He startles himself and then looks like he just realized as he said it out loud. 

My heart is pounding because of the teeth and anger and then the confession right in front of my face. 

“You can’t love me.” I say.

He looks furious, “That’s not something you can control.” He softens, rolling his eyes. “It’s not like you’re the first human man I’ve met.” He moves what little he can laying down, looking upwards he raises his hand to reach out in some memory. “I should hate humans or at least be more wary of them. The fact you’re a scientist too-”

“Marine biologist.”

“Did you work in a lab?”

My silence answers him. 

“It may be just because I saved you.” I offer.

His eyes flash with annoyance. “After…the lab…,” he lets out shuddering breaths, tensing and closing his eyes to reject the memories, “I was taken in by a half-breed, a man older than you. He taught me everything I’d need to survive. I don’t feel towards him the way I feel towards you.”

“What happened to him?”

He sits up and looks away silently. I move slowly until I’m sitting next to him and he subtly moves his hand making sure an air bubble stays around my head. 

He looks away further, “Same as you, patched me up, made sure I’d survive or be suitable for my new environment whatever it was you said and kicked me out.” Before I can say anything he adds, “I’ll leave by the way you don’t need to tell me again, it hurts to be told again.” His voice cracks and he shakes his head. “Why does everyone kick me out?”

I’m still processing in the silence when he grabs me and swims me to the ladder. Once breaking through to the surface he pushes me towards it and backs off, not quite ready to go back under.

“I can leave now.” He says quietly, “I’ve been strong enough to be on my own for days.”

I climb the ladder and sit looking at him. I feel bad for him and I did promise I’d figure it out. I hesitate, “I still have to take you to the market.”

“I only wanted to go because I thought if we bonded you’d…pack bond” he looks away, “I’m leaving soon so what's the point?”

“To keep my promise and to make sure you’re safe from humans.” I say a little irritated that he wasn’t understanding.

“Safe?” He looks at me for a long time, “Sorry if I’m confused but since I’m just a catch and release why does my temporary safety matter?”

“You know why?”