Chapter 1 - The calm before the storm

Part 3/6

REN

The first day of senior year of high school was warm and breezy. Spring in Japan was starting to make the streets of his small city flowery, which gave Ren a sense of beauty and hope. He walked across the school courtyard leisurely, whistling the most recent song he was trying to master on the piano.

His arms were a little sore from playing for over five hours straight yesterday. It was always like that when he felt challenged. He just couldn’t let go until he mastered whatever it was. That’s why he’d always loved the piano. It was not easy for him. He wasn’t a prodigy. On the contrary, he was so bad when he first started, nobody thought he would continue.

But he fell in love with the sound, with how it resonated through his entire body and his heart beats followed the vibration of the notes. From the moment he first touched a key, he didn’t care if it would be difficult or not; Ren simply decided he would learn it, and so he did.

The soreness of his muscles was always welcomed. It was proof of how hard he had worked for what he wanted and when he finally achieved it, it would mean even more. The piano was one of the few things he had held onto. Considering how much he had learned to let go throughout his life, it was one of the most precious things he had. 

When he got to the big white board that listed the students names and classes for the year, it was still early. There were only a few students in sight, but he preferred it that way. Arriving at school in a rush and bumping into people who were running around was unnerving. It was better being able to take his time and appreciate the peace and quiet while he could.

His eyes wandered through the lists. Under class 3-B’s, he found the familiar names of his friends: Hashimoto Kai, then Kashiwagi Taiko, followed by Minori Niko and a little under, Tachibana Itsuki. His heart started beating a little faster as he read through the rest. When he found his name nearly at the end, he smiled relieved: Watanabe Ren. Seeing the words on the same list as the other four boys gave him the safe sensation of having people he trusted around him. It soothed the nervousness he didn’t realize had been taking over him before.

Ren had moved around all his life because of his mother’s job. The most time he’d spent in the same place had been three years. So he was more than used to being the new kid and not knowing anyone in his class. This time, however, he’d really wished that their little group would not be broken apart in their last year of school. It had been hard enough coming back to the city three years after he’d last lived here, especially after the way he left. And then meeting Kai again, his former best friend/first love, only to find the boy held grudges towards Ren.

Not that Kai could be blamed. It was Ren’s fault they’d lost contact during the last three years. For not being able to endure losing another important person—probably the most important one back then—he’d completely ghosted the boy. Right after their first kiss. Ren hadn’t given Kai the option of staying in his life, because he didn’t believe that would be possible.

When Ren had moved from Osaka and joined Seirei High School a few months ago, it had been their second term of sophomore year. He had been nothing but gobsmacked seeing Kai sitting in the same classroom he’d been assigned to. 

The boy still looked as handsome as he did back in middle school: his thin, wavy black hair falling graciously to both sides of his forehead, nicely matching his pale skin. The nut-brown eyes that had stared back at Ren made him feel like it was just yesterday they’d last seen each other. The only difference he’d noticed on the boy was that he’d obviously grown taller, even if he remained a good six centimeters shorter than Ren.

It had been very awkward at first, with Ren straight away getting close to Kai’s friends, while he avoided Ren at all costs. But they figured things out eventually. 

They grew even closer when Ren helped him confess to Niko, the boy Kai was in love with. There had been a lot of history between the lovebirds. Even a competitive rivalry dating back to their middle school years. Both had been part of their schools’ soccer teams, and were each other’s main opponent. 

Ren remembered parts of it. Kai complained constantly about some upstart player from a rival soccer team. At times, it had made Ren jealous back in the day. Now he knew why. Not that he’d had even one second of the sentiment since he’d returned. On the contrary, he wanted nothing more for them than to be together and happy.

Kai and Niko, who were now happily dating, were proof that a devoted love was possible. It was a real enemies-to-lovers story, as they called it. If there ever were soulmates, it would’ve been them.

Ren chuckled to himself as he turned into the third-year corridor. He’d never expected to find such special connections again. But he did. And now he would be able to enjoy an important period of his life with people he actually cared about and wanted to be close to, even if he still didn’t believe in forever. It was major that he was learning to allow himself to wish for long-term friendships.

Going back to whistling his song, Ren made his way to the new classroom. There were already a couple of students in the room, some whom he had seen in the hallways before but never talked to. After greeting them with a ‘good morning’, he headed to a desk by the window, in one of the middle rows; just where he knew his friends liked to sit.

When he was settled, Ren took his cell and headphones from his school bag, pressing play on the song he had been previously whistling. Closing his eyes, he imagined the piano, remembering the notes and the way his hands should move. As it always happened when he entered his music bubble, everything around him faded away. There was only him, the melody, and the certainty that this was something constant. It would never abandon him.

Ren wasn’t sure how long he had stayed like that, when he felt his shoulder being poked. He opened his eyes, his face soon breaking into a joyful smile as he saw his three closest friends taking their seats around him; Niko on his right side, Kai in front of his boyfriend and Itsuki, a childhood friend of Niko’s, in front of Ren.

Pressing pause on the song and taking his headphones off, he greeted the other boys, “Morning!”

Instead of a cheerful reply, though, he watched Niko roll his eyes and mumble, “I’ll never understand why you and Kai are so addicted to those fucking headphones.”

Ren chortled at his grumpiness.

“Says the one who’s been addicted to every song I’ve showed him ever since we became friends,” Kai stated calmly, organizing his notebook and stationery on his desk.

“But I don’t isolate myself from the world with that,” Niko snarked, pointing at Ren’s headphones.

“Already so bitter on the first day of school, Niko?” Ren teased, raising an eyebrow. “I thought seeing you’d be by my side the entire year would make you all happy and glowy.”

Itsuki laughed and shook his head, while Niko looked at Ren unimpressed.

“Maybe that’s why I’m bitter.”

“Don’t mind him. He almost cried yesterday thinking this is our last year of high school,” Kai said calmly, still rummaging through his bag without looking at them.

“Aw, baby, really? Don’t be sad, you’ll never lose me!” Ren lunged towards Niko and squeezed his cheeks, which resulted in having his hands snapped and Niko flicking Kai’s ear.

“Jerk,” he mumbled to his boyfriend.

Yet, Ren noticed the right corner of Niko’s lips curling up a bit, and smiled.

“Well, I’m happy my girlfriend is in our class this year,” Itsuki said contently.

“Oh, I didn’t see her name. That’s nice!” Ren said honestly. He wasn’t very close with Yoshida-chan, but everytime she hung out with them, she seemed to be a sweet, smart girl.

“Looks like you’ll be our fifth wheel, Ren,” Niko mocked, wiggling his eyebrows. “You need to find a boyfriend soon.”

Ren grimaced. “No, thanks!” At that moment, a tall, handsome brown-haired boy entered the classroom. Their eyes immediately met. Both grinned subtly to each other. “I’m entertained enough as it is.”

Kai, who had finally turned to them, followed Ren’s gaze. “Akiyama? Really?” He looked back at Ren, lowering his voice. “I thought you were going out with that guy from the basketball team?”

Ren clicked his tongue, making a dismissive gesture. “Going out is too strong a word. That ended. I ran into Akiyama at the cinema during our break and we got to talking. Turns out we have a lot in common.”

“Oooh, could he be the one?” Itsuki joked.

Chuckling, Ren didn’t even feel the need to reply. His three friends were the only ones who knew about his love life, since most of the boys he messed around with weren’t out yet. Even though Ren didn’t want a relationship and had no trouble moving from one fling to another, he respected everyone he shared that kind of intimacy with.

It was true most of them fell for him at some point. But he was becoming better at noticing it as soon as it started, and would end it before things got too serious. In any case, he made sure to tell them what he wanted from the beginning: to just have fun with a nice person who was looking for the same thing.

As he was the first same-sex experience of many of the boys he hooked up with, he usually didn’t have any problems with discretion on their part either. Not that Ren cared that others knew he was gay; he'd been out for a long time, although not many people really knew about it. He was very reserved about his life in general. And that’s why he preferred to get involved with guys who didn’t go around babbling about what they had done.

“Come on, Itsuki, you know he doesn’t believe in such a thing!” Niko mocked again.

Ren narrowed his eyes at Niko, a knowing smile growing on his lips. “How can I not believe in such a thing when I’m friends with you and Kai?”

That took Niko off guard, and Ren felt victorious. It was an honest statement. And while he knew Niko was aware Ren simply didn’t want a serious relationship at the moment, it was always worth it to make the boy embarrassed.

“What I like the most about you is your amazing ability of shutting Niko up,” Itsuki turned to him with an appreciative face, which made Ren chuckle. “And it’s way better than how Kai does it.”

“Yeah, that is truly disgusting,” Ren agreed, trying not to laugh at Niko’s outraged expression.

“Aren’t you gonna say anything?” Niko asked his boyfriend.

Kai, however, just turned around and briskly placed a hard kiss on Niko's lips. Itsuki and Ren made a face.

“Kai!” Niko screeched, now completely red. The color spread up to his blonde hairline, making the mixture of colors very amusing.

“What? That’s the best way of shutting them up too,” Kai defended himself, shrugging. But Ren knew better. The smug grin on Kai’s lips was proof of how happy the smallest form of contact with Niko made him.

And Ren thought it was adorable. He was sure he would want that someday. It would only take a long, long time for him to be ready for that.