“So, how’re the plans for college going?” Ren asked, trying to change the subject.

“I’m still a bit undecided,” he said, sinking into his chair.

“What about?”

“There’s a couple of things I’d like to do. I’m mostly torn between a BA in musicology, or a pharmaceutical major.”

Ren chuckled. “Completely different fields. But they both fit you.”

It was true. Kai was very good in chemistry and sciences in general. He was also almost as obsessed with music as Ren was; just for a different style. While Ren usually liked more classical, old rock, jazz and blues, Kai was an indie-rock and heavy metal enthusiast. Even though they seemed extremely different at first, their love for music was actually one of the first things that had brought them together back when they first met. They respected each other’s tastes and even kept an open mind to try and listen to each other’s recommendations.

“I remember you saying you wanted to become a producer back in middle school,” Ren said with a fond smile. “Are you still interested in that?”

Kai smiled back, nodding. “I actually found a really good program in Osaka.”

“Really?” Ren’s eyes widened. It had been the last place he’d lived in before moving back to their city. “I’ll have to give you some tips if you do move there.”

Raising an eyebrow, Kai threw him an unimpressed look. “You’ll have to visit to show me all the places you like.”

Ren’s heart warmed at the words. To think that his friend could actually mean that he wanted Ren around long-term was… unthinkable. He cleared his throat and shook those thoughts away, to prevent himself from blushing.

 Then, something else passed through his mind and his smile dropped. He hesitated for a beat, afraid of bringing the subject up. But ended up asking anyway, “Does Pharmacy have anything to do with your mother’s disease?”

He studied Kai’s gaze, which was fixed on the floor. He had lost his mother to cancer last year. It was a very tragic story. Apparently, she’d found out about it when Kai was twelve, but didn’t share it with him. Instead, she’d just dropped him at his father’s house, whom Kai had never met before, to go try an experimental treatment. For years, she’d been away, always lying to him about coming back. Until he stopped talking to her altogether.

 Ren wasn’t back yet when Kai had been contacted by the clinic and finally found out about everything, as well as the fact that she had died in the end. Niko was the one who told Ren the most about it. It had happened just as Niko and Kai were starting to become friends. The effects of all the trauma still hit Kai hard. But, even if his friend might struggle with the idea, Ren thought it would be a good way for him to work with something that would help him find some closure. 

“Yeah,” was all Kai answered.

Nodding, Ren grinned knowingly. “That’s not the only thing that’s worrying you about college, though, right?”

Kai raised his narrowed eyes at him. “How the hell do you read people so well?”

“It’s one of my many talents,” Ren joked. Kai rolled his eyes. “Niko commented that you were gathering info with some people about this stuff, and he looked a little anxious. I just imagined your relationship is something that might be worrying you, too.”

With another sigh, Kai tilted his head back, leaning against the wall of the bus. “Yeah, it is. I mean, I’m sure that, no matter what happens, nothing will change what I feel for Niko. I wanna be with him for all my life.” 

“You think Niko might not feel the same?”

Kai shrugged. “Dunno. I don’t doubt his feelings for me, but…”

“Kai,” Ren interrupted, “Niko is nauseatingly crazy about you.”

Pursing his lips, Kai sent him a glare from the corner of his eyes. “Do you have to say it like that?”

“Well, it’s the truth!” Ren chortled.

“Whatever.” Kai clicked his tongue dismissively. “I just worry about his insecurities getting in the way of… us,” he muttered the last word.

Ren considered that for a minute. It’s not like his friend was wrong to think of that. Just yesterday, Ren was comforting Niko about that himself. Maybe it was just because of how much he rooted for them, but Ren honestly could not fathom a scenario where Kai and Niko wouldn’t be together. Even though they hadn’t been dating for long, the way they felt about each other dripped from every single look and touch they shared. It was impossible not to notice.

 He did, however, understand that, being part of the situation, Kai might not get the full picture. His friend was afraid of losing the most important person in his life. He had already been through that once with his mother, and it must hurt a lot to think going through a similar pain. Ren might go through life and never find his perfect match, like Kai did, but he imagined the very idea of losing them would be terrifying.

“For what it's worth, I don’t think that’ll come between you two,” he said quietly. “Niko just needs to work on getting more confident about himself. And even if I’ve only known him for a short time, he seems to be getting better little by little.”

Kai thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “I guess you’re right. I just wish he would see how amazing he is.”

Ren smiled again. “He will. And I think you’re a greater help than you think you are.”

Looking at him with a grateful expression, Kai smiled back. “What about you? Already decided where you’re going?”

“Not yet.” Ren shook his head. “I’m gonna visit Tokyo and Kyoto in the summer to decide.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll easily get into any college you choose. You’ve always been a freakish prodigy.”

Furrowing his eyebrows, Ren turned his body towards Kai. “Is that supposed to be a compliment? Cause it didn’t sound like one.”

“Take that as you will,” Kai said mysteriously, making Ren laugh. “I bet you’re happy you’ll soon be going to college, though. You used to talk about it all the time when we were kids.”

More fond memories filled Ren’s mind. Them both sitting on his couch, playing video games and talking about the future. Two sad and neglected teenagers, hoping their lives would one day be better than what they’d been going through at the time. Being so similarly lonely, they had found comfort in each other and in their shared dreams.

“I am.” Ren bit his lower lip. He always felt vulnerable opening up like that. But he knew that he was safe with Kai. “It feels like I’ll finally be in control of my own life.”

Kai grinned at him affectionately, and Ren was sure he was also thinking about their past. “I’m glad. You deserve it. And I hope it’ll be everything you’ve ever hoped for.”

“Me too.” Ren blushed, a small grin also showing on his lips. “Don’t you think you’ll get rid of me this time, though!”

Kai scoffed. “Yeah, yeah, I already know you’ll keep bugging me and my boyfriend for the rest of our lives.”

Ren threw his head back and laughed. Moments like these were still new to him. Allowing himself to believe he would be able to keep important people with him, no matter what happened, evoked a feeling he couldn’t quite name. And knowing those same people wished for the same, brought up deep happiness in him.

“Well, someone’s gotta look out for you two dumbshits.”

“Here’s our stop!” Kai said, in a clear attempt to cut the subject off, even if he was right about them having arrived. 

Still laughing, Ren caved and got up, followed by his friend as he walked to the door. 

Right before the bus stopped, the weirdest thing happened. Maybe Kai’s ridiculous words from earlier had gotten too much into Ren’s head, because his stomach suddenly twitched, as though something important and unexpected was about to happen. 

As if.