The atmosphere in the classroom became increasingly unpleasant, with Alexandra and Hanna at odds. Even just sitting through the class without saying anything, everyone could see how strange things were between the two of them. Hanna didn’t seem like Carter, but she attended the classes with a vacant look, and not even the teachers could distinguish if she was really human or had become a robot just attending classes and taking notes.

All this tension over the past few days left me exhausted to the point of being paler than usual. Sleeping was almost impossible some nights, especially after transforming. The sensation of purifying hearts and having lived through those emotions was still too vivid…

But

Even after all this

Even after the sleepless nights, the horrible monsters that cut, burned, and hurt me in various ways

Even after seeing my friend trying to give up what she loved and what she had done with love for so long…

There was something in my heart, a burning pulsation, that seemed not to let me give up

I couldn’t give up until I found that strange jewel Anima talked about… that was bringing all this chaos to the city…

I couldn’t give up.

Despite having all these confusions in my head and pains in my heart, it was lunch time, and I was famished, but… I didn’t want to go to the cafeteria and watch the passive-aggressive fight between Alex and Hanna, especially knowing that, if it depended on Alexandra, it would become a much more aggressive argument, at least in terms of words. The school cafeteria was always crowded, whether with students buying their snacks or people sitting and talking. I didn’t want to be there and possibly have to break up a fight or just see everything I had built over the past few weeks go down the drain after Hanna’s heart broke in half…

But there was a place that was always empty, even in that huge school full of rich people.

The rooftop of the building, just open air and the blue sky, although lonely, was a good place to stay if I wanted to calm down.

I went upstairs to the floor leading to the terrace, opening its tightly closed door only to see that I wouldn't be alone.

But that company didn’t bother me; on the contrary, maybe that was the only person I wanted to see right now.

When I opened the door to the terrace, I saw Miss Hazel eating a small bento, looking a bit surprised to see me, but without expressing much.

“It’s rare to see you here.” She said, in an inviting tone. Even though she didn’t smile, I felt I could understand a little of what Hazel wanted to express when we were alone.

“I know… I didn’t want to go to the cafeteria after what happened today… But this is quite a pleasant place to stay. Do you always come here during break time, Miss Hazel?”

“Since Melissa and the others kicked me out of their group, yes. But don’t worry, I don’t mind you knowing my secret place.” She gave a slight smile. “Come, you can sit with me.”

She was sitting on the ground, leaning against the netting that prevented someone from falling off a four-story building. As soon as I realized, I couldn’t help but feel my face heat up as I approached her and opened my bento so we could eat together.

It was almost as if Hazel that day was… different. It had been many years since I’d seen her this inviting; the last time was…

Was…

…

When, exactly?

I opened my bento, and Miss Hazel’s eyes seemed to fill with almost childlike surprise again. My dad knew how to make pretty lunches, but her expression was quite cute as she looked at my food.

“Is that a sun-dried tomato and ham sandwich? It looks pretty tasty.” She said, looking at the pizza sandwiches in my bento.

“Yes! It has arugula and cheese too. We usually order this pizza flavor at home, so one day my dad thought ‘why not put this in a sandwich?’ He always makes one of these when he wants to cheer me up or something like that.”

“Your dad cooks at home? That’s quite uncommon…” Hazel’s mind seemed to wander to a distant place…

“He likes it a lot, my mom doesn’t have much interest in cooking, so usually he’s the one who cooks at home, b-but I try to learn from him! Even though when I try cooking everything ends up messy and at least a little bit burned… Does your mom cook at your house, Miss Hazel?”

“Sometimes one of the kitchen staff does, but… I don’t like to burden them with more work, so I usually cook alone. It’s nothing luxurious, but I try my best.” Her voice sounded disheartened, almost as if she wanted to hide something, but…

“Staff? Miss Hazel, are you rich?!” I was surprised. Maybe my silly way of speaking made her let out that beautiful laugh, because when I noticed, the sadness on her face was gone.

“My grandmother has her ways, but she’s a successful busy woman even today. But, tell me, you said your dad makes these sandwiches to cheer you up, and I also noticed you seemed down this morning…”

“Oh, that… It’s just that after we came back from the gallery…”

No.

I couldn’t tell her that.

There was no way to explain it to Miss Hazel, but…

“It’s… my fault…” I said without thinking much.

“You… are talking about what I said? When we were at the gallery?”

“It’s not that, but… even though your words confused me, it’s Hanna… She’s acting strange, isn’t she? After you disappeared, I met her, and… she seemed desperate, saying she wanted to give up… I… couldn’t say anything… anything useful…”

“...You really are too kind. If she wants to give up, shouldn’t you let her?” 

“It’s not that!” She… didn’t really want to give up… She was just broken… because of me… because I let her heart be broken. “She doesn’t really want to give up! She loves drawing and painting! She’s been doing it since I’ve known her, giving that up is almost like giving up on herself! When you love something, you have to fight for it to the end!”

“...Are you sure about that?” Her face closed off again. “If that thing doesn’t love you back, will you keep trying? Sometimes giving up might be better… It would make her suffer less.”

“Even so! Loving something is… precious in its own way… Giving that up, giving up showing your love, throwing it all away… It’s a cowardly act.”

I was serious. Even though I loved Miss Hazel, seeing her have this idea and agreeing with what Hanna was doing was wrong. Even if she was wrong, I still loved her, but I wouldn’t accept her believing that one should simply abandon what they love like that.

Miss Hazel’s serious face contorted in agony, and without any warning, she seemed to collapse from weakness, getting closer to me.

“Mi-Miss Hazel?! Are you alright?!”

“It’s… It’s nothing serious… I’m just feeling a bit… cold…” Her face contorted in pain as she clutched her hand near her chest. I touched her hand and could feel… Hazel was cold. Cold as a corpse.

There was no way a normal human could survive with that body temperature.

“Hazel, let’s go to the infirmary, you’re…” Before I could finish the sentence, that dark-haired girl approached me, hugging me with her eyes closed, like a defenseless animal seeking comfort…

“It’s so… warm…” She spoke casually. I knew that girl was mysterious, but… wasn’t that strange? As if she almost changed personalities.