In a flash I’m transported from an adrenaline fueled mushroom brawl to the tranquil scene by the river. My heart is hammering wildly in my chest; I’m soaked in an icy sweat.

I heave a shaky sigh and slump into the bench, feeling utterly spent by the short, ridiculous encounter. But I don’t sit around feeling sorry for myself for long.

My mind is already working, analyzing the fight. My mistakes. 

Panic is obvious—I can’t believe I dropped my sword. But some panic is natural, even for a normal player. For me, that goes double. Even at my most relaxed, my body is in a constant state of fight of flight, so when thrust into a real fight or flight situation, that system is kicked into overdrive.

For now my only hope of overcoming this panic is exposure. I have to get back in the fight. But first…

“Tina, can you pull up my character’s stats from Tetra Chronicles?”

“Accessing Tetra Chronicles data base for character: Revelator. File retrieved.”

“Can I see a video recap of the last thirty seconds before log off?”

“File retrieved.”

I watch the video first. It’s pretty embarrassing. I look like a peasant fighting a pokémon and losing to its tackle attack. Of course the tackle never even hit. I took the most damage in this fight from my own sword. All the pokémon did—that is, all the shroomlet did—was damage me with its poison aura. -1 HP every few seconds, was I seriously scared of this? I double-check my character profile. I have 340 HP for crying out loud! To say nothing of my character’s regeneration...

And why was I so intent on using the Block skill? The shield, held properly, still reduces damage from physical attacks. I don’t need to block 100% of a shroomlet’s attack every time—that kind of skill should be activated judiciously, in the face of a monster’s charge, or to block a power attack.

I understand all this in theory. In practice, it’s a bit more difficult. To keep a cool head in the moment, to use my skills deliberately and not in a blind panic, that will be the real challenge.

But I’ve got time, and an unlimited supply of level one mobs to practice on. I’m sure if I can conquer my fear of the shroomlet, I’ll be well equipped to face higher level monsters. At the very least, it’s a place to start.

“Tina, what’s my heart rate?”

“Heart rate is 98 BPM. Vital signs normal.”

“Take me back into the game.”

“Loading Tetra Chronicles…”

I materialize in the field, the same place I left the game. The shroomlet I was fighting is gone, the field is quiet save for the rustling of wind in the long grass. My nosebleed is stopped, but there’s dried blood crusted on my leather armor. I can’t decide if it makes me look cool or gross.

I pull up the system screen and check gore options, ranging from zero to splatter. I select mild, and the blood stain is lifted from my armor. In some cases, less realism is better, I think. Especially when I know from experience just looking at the color red can elevate my pulse. Then I go to my status window.

I check the durability of my shield.

[Shield durability: 193/200]

That seems like a lot of damage for one shroomlet tackle attack. Then, it is a crappy wooden starter shield. I have to hurry and upgrade my gear. At this rate my shield will be toast after less than thirty attacks. Guess I hoped my Shield Proficiency skill would bolster it more. I need to level that up quickly, or I’ll be spending all my coin on shield repairs…

A noise interrupts my thoughts. The pitter patter of little feet.

Shroomlet!

It’s too soon—I wasn’t ready! But there’s no arguing with the mob. It pops out of the tall grass, its beady eyes turned on me in fierce determination.

Right. Let’s not panic, now. I already know this little guy isn’t strong enough to kill me. He doesn’t have any weapons, he doesn’t even have arms, for crying out loud! So rather than overreact and make a mess of things the way I did before, this time I’ll keep my wits about me, and use that thing to test my abilities.

First, let it tackle me without holding up the shield.

Oof!

[-9 HP]

[-1 HP, poison]

Not too bad, I think holding my ground as the shroomlet bounces off my gut and flails a bit with its legs in the air before regaining its feet. Its growl of fury as it glares me down is almost adorable.

Now, test my shield—without the Block ability.

Another tackle, it hits my shield.

[-5 HP]

[-1 HP, poison]

If this were a real battle, I wouldn’t have taken any damage at all from such a perfectly blocked attack. But since this is a game, a portion of the damage I would have taken is still transfered to me, while the rest is absorbed by my shield.

[Shield durability: 191/200]

Now, to confirm one final point, once more, I will test my block. Shroomlet charges me again, and leaps with a tackle attack. I time my interception perfectly and throw up my shield.

“Use skill, block!”

Doop!

[-1 HP, poison]

It bounces off once more and rolls around on the ground, momentarily dazed.

No real damage taken, though I’m still affected by its poison spore aura. Durability?

[Shield durability: 184/200]

Total HP: 323/340

The math is mathing. I’m beginning to get a clearer picture of this monster’s abilities. And my own.

So that’s how my shield and armor work.

Now, I’ve tested all my defensive gear, it’s time I put this sword of mine to proper use!

[Wooden Sword lvl 1: Sword used by trainees.

Damage 8-12 (adjusted 12-18)]

Throwing my shield aside, I grip the short wooden sword in both my hands, swallowing down the anxious lump that’s suddenly appeared in my throat. Seeing my offensive stance, the shroomlet bares its flat brown teeth at me and growls menacingly.

“Come at me!” I yell, and my voice squeaks slightly. “I’m not scared of you! Smelly little wiener!”

“Rar!” it cries, and charges me. My heart is racing wildly, but I stand my ground, and, wielding my sword with all the finesse of an old lady flailing a broom, send it flying backwards once more. The shroomlet’s status bar drains rapidly with the strike, and I see opaque numbers appear over its head.

[-17 HP]

[HP: 48/65]

My heart is thrumming. I’m excited, encouraged by this first real hit. But it’s not dead, yet.

[-1 HP, poison]

“Still got that trick up your sleeve, eh? Well just look at this constitution stat, I regenerate over 2 HP a second! A mosquito bite would hurt me worse than this!” I taunt with false bravado.

Evidently it’s more than the shroomlet can take. The little guy falls for my taunt, and rushes forward with renewed fury, tackling me again and again, and I’m there with my wooden sword in a state of sheer panic, flailing wildly with more misses than strikes. From my perspective, its an unbelievably intense life or death battle, but to the onlookers who’ve gathered just a little ways off to stare in bewilderment at my efforts, I suppose I still look like a shrieking peasant beating off a pokémon.

I don’t give a damn about them. To me, there is only my opponent.

“You—damned—wiener! Die!”

[-14 HP]

[0/65]

The fallen shroomlet bursts into a shower of green exp pixels which are automatically pulled to my character, together with a loot screen.

[+1 Shroomlet Cap

Quest item]

[+1 Spore Pouch

Value: 1 cp]

I lift my finger to select accept all automatically, and the screen disappears as the items are added to my pack. I stare out across the field, half stunned, blinking into the overly bright artificial sun.

I…did it?

“I did it!” I whoop, and leap into the air with a triumphant fist pump. I killed my first mob without despawning! Now at last I know the exhilaration my hunter gatherer ancestors felt as they defended their cave from the attacks of saber-toothed tigers! With pride I can say to them that I, Revelator, have made my first kill.

But my celebration is short-lived, for the next moment, I hear footsteps once again. I feel my heart fire up at the sound, but not too badly. My eyes follow a suggestion of movement in the grass; I stoop quickly to retrieve my shield.

Another shroomlet pops into view, and I move into a defensive position.

Now a veteran, I’m prepared to intercept the first tackle, but instead of running at me it begins to rock itself back and forth. With a hissing sound, it launches a brown cloud out of the top of its head, a spore pouch which breaks against my face in a noxious cloud.

[-3 HP]

That thing had another attack?!

[You have been poisoned.]

Wait, poisoned? I don’t have any antidotes! What if I can’t get to the pokémon center in time? What if I faint out here?

[-3 HP, poison]

[-1 HP, poison]

And the poison aura!

I’m hysterical, so distressed by all the numbers flashing in front of my eyes and this unexpected development, I’ve even forgotten which game I’m playing, and I fail completely to block the shroomlet’s next tackle attack, which hits me like an arrow to the knee.

[-8 HP]

[-3 HP, poison]

[-1 HP, poison]

It’s a lot for my panicked mind to process, still, I remain faintly aware these are all small numbers. I’m not going to die from something like this. If I can just stay calm and keep my wits about me, I’ve already proven to myself I can beat one shroomlet.

But what’s this? More movement in my peripheral vision? Another shroomlet! There to the left—no, to the right—two more shroomlet! No—more! A swarm of level one mobs, barreling towards me!

One of them is crawling up my leg, biting through my pants with an unexpected ferocity. I scream and kick reflexively, and it goes flying into the sun with a puff of spores.

“Wheeeee!” 

Thud.

[You have been poisoned.]

From the bite attack?

[-6 HP, poison]

[-2 HP, poison]

Wait, this stuff stacks?!

The numbers are flying in front of me now, more than my brain can keep up with. Tackle attacks, poison spore attacks, more bites and of course the stackable aura, and suddenly HP is draining faster than a Super Mario Bros. speedrun.

Defender class my left butt cheek! I’m about to die to a horde of level one mobs!

They’re crawling all over me, smacking into me and launching spore pouches into my face so the air around me is thick with brown spores. I scream helplessly, flailing my shield and wooden sword, crying, “Block! Block!”

[Heart rate 153 BPM. Activating relaxation protocol.]

Not again!