Chapter 3 - And so it begins

Part 4/7

Last Christmas, Yuki had searched high and low to find someone else with a vinyl Niko wanted. He had begged and pleaded for them to sell it at its original price. And he had even set aside an entire day to go with Niko to pick them up. But all Niko could do was talk about Kai, and how he needed the gift before their meeting later that night. 

Kai was just Niko’s friend, from what Yuki knew back then. And, even though Yuki had been right in front of Niko, he might as well have been invisible. Once they’d had the vinyl in hand, Niko had drifted off to another world, only thinking of Kai and how happy he would be. It had made Yuki so mad. But that didn’t excuse what he’d done after.

"It wasn't!" he insisted, his emotions getting the better of him.  

Just like that, it was gone. Everything he had ever worked for. The smile and tone. His gentle gaze and welcoming stance. His façade had been broken; and not by his choice. Flashes of himself telling Niko they should go on another date sometime, as if they’d been on one that day, passed through his mind. Niko’s shocked expression, saying he didn’t think of Yuki that way. Yuki feeling his stomach ache from the rejection.

“What happened on Christmas was a mistake!” Yuki tried to explain. 

“A mistake on Niko’s part for trusting you,” Ren growled.

“I was helping him get his fucking present!” Yuki continued.

“You were preventing him from his date with Kai!”

“Sure, it was a dick move to make him late, but I just wanted to spend time with him!” Yuki tried to defend himself.

“Like that makes it all okay?” Ren snorted ironically. “What about his jacket, then? And the frostbite?”

Kai did say he told him everything. Yuki's thoughts spiraled. “That was an accident!”

“Accident?!”

“How was I supposed to know he'd be stupid enough to run off in the freezing cold without a jacket?”

“You took his jacket!”

“I panicked, okay? I just wanted him to listen to me for once. It was bad timing yeah, but...”

“Bad timing?! Taking someone’s jacket in the middle of the night when it was snowing?”

“I didn't shove him out the bus door and tell him to run outside for two hours!” Yuki snapped, finally raising his voice. “And for your information, the only reason anyone found out about his frostbite was because Kai and I talked the very next day, when he went to meet Niko at the café, and put two and two together. Niko wouldn't have told anyone anything otherwise.”

“Niko wouldn't have gotten hurt if…”

“You don't think I know that?!” Yuki almost screamed. 

Reliving that stupid night was bringing back unnecessary emotions. Guilt and shame for having tried to weasel into Niko’s good graces. Pain and humiliation for how Niko wouldn’t even give him a second glance. Regret and sorrow for the likely scars left on Niko’s hands and fingers, as well as the bizarre start to his lifelong friendship with Kai.  

“The whole night was stupid! But I had my reasons. I didn’t know Niko was actually in love with the guy he was working so hard to buy a gift for until the day before that, and thought maybe I could still have a shot,” Yuki said, clenching his fists as guilt spread through his chest. “And I had never even met Kai! It was stupid of me, but I had the right to try, to at least know if Niko felt something close to the same. And he has made it pretty fucking clear he doesn't!” Yuki's frustration boiled over. “I’ve accepted that.” He gulped, trying to put up a more confident act. “Kai trusts me, and so does Niko. If they didn't, they wouldn't have arranged this meeting so you could drop this weird vendetta you have against me!” 

Yuki didn’t want to look at Ren anymore. His gaze was too intense and judgmental. It made Yuki feel too vulnerable, and that was the worst thing he could ever feel. Like he was that ten year old boy again, his whole world crashing down around him.

But Ren’s eyes were also magnetic. For some unknown reason, Yuki was drawn to them like a moth to a flame. Yuki wanted; no, needed to know what Ren was thinking while looking at him right now. The real him. Broken and weak. An utterly complete mess. Maybe Ren would understand him better, and maybe that would be enough. 

No! Yuki chastised himself. I can’t show him that! Even if he knows I’m faking who I am most of the time, I can't show him my weaknesses. I can’t let him win!

But Yuki caved anyway, and raised his gaze to Ren. What he saw was a bit shocking. The judgment he thought he’d find wasn’t so piercing. If anything, it seemed like Ren was considering his words. Giving him, for the first time, the benefit of the doubt. As the grey irises softened, Yuki could see that Ren wasn’t just some asshole bastard that had decided to hate him at all costs.

That made Yuki’s heart rejoice. He felt a small grin form on his lips. One that was anything but fake.

The sentiment lasted only for a few seconds, though. 

“You did have the right to try to win over the person you liked,” Ren spoke in a low, threatening voice. Yuki shivered. “But the way you did it was too fucked up. And I do not believe you don’t have feelings for Niko anymore. So no, I don’t think I can trust you.”

Yuki’s heart dropped again. But his composure was returning. He had worked his way through the muddy waters. That was just how he had befriended Kai and Niko. It seemed Ren was at least listening now. And regardless, he had been honest about everything; even Ren’s breathtaking beauty. 

“I don’t know what you did to win Kai’s and Niko’s trust after that bullshit, but you can be certain I’m not as naive as they are,” Ren continued, once again making Yuki’s stomach tighten. “They are two of the most important persons in the world to me. If you try any funny business with them, I assure you, I’ll be the first one to see it. And you’ll regret the day you ever messed with them.”

Fuck! Yuki struggled to keep his thoughts internal. Why is he so harsh! Should this even matter to him that much? Istuke and Taiko were both there when everything happened, and they never flipped out like this! 

Yuki closed his eyes with a groan. A deep breath in, and he pulled himself together. This was just like any other conversation. It was just a matter of regaining control. Of convincing the other party that he was right, while they were wrong. Or at least distracting them so they would drop the matter altogether. 

It's his fucking eyes! Yuki returned Ren's firm stare. They’re piercing cold, like icicles. I should be annoyed! Pissed, even! He doesn't know me. He shouldn't care. I shouldn’t care. But his eyes… I can't look away!

He was determined to break through that guy’s thick skull. Yuki softened his face, his signature smile returning to his lips.  

Come on, Yuki, you got better game than this.

“Now, now. Let’s tone it down a bit, alright?” Yuki gently tapped Ren's shoulder, which went rigid under the touch. “You’re going to get wrinkles on that handsome face of yours if you keep scowling like that.” 

Not that it would be any less enticing. Yuki grudgingly thought.

Something flickered across Ren’s face for just a second. It was like part of the big wall that was between them wanted to crumble. But it must have just been Yuki’s imagination, for as quick as it came, it went away.

“I get what you’re doing, you know? I know your type very well,” Ren’s voice dripped with sarcasm. But there was also something there that resembled sadness, which caught Yuki off guard. “You’re a flirt and think you can get your way through anything with that fake smile. So let me tell you something.” 

Yuki’s breath got caught in his throat when Ren took one step closer to him. Instead of the scrutinizing, judgemental glare, Yuki found Ren's eyes were exploring his own with a glint of something Yuki could not decipher. As Ren looked Yuki over again, he licked his lips and eyed the collar of Yuki's shirt.  

Yuki’s neck burned from the idea of those lips crossing his skin. He barely managed to keep up his fake smile and pretend he still had some sense of composure. He wasn't sure what those swirling eyes saw, but the harsh words that had escaped the heart-shaped mouth that was now tempting Yuki endlessly, mismatched the interest that glowed on Ren's handsome face.

Then, like a spell was broken, he saw Ren's eyes harden again; although not as much as before. When he spoke, his voice was also less threatening. It sent shivers down Yuki's spine for more reasons than one.

“Just like Niko didn’t fall for it, neither will I. Ever. So you can drop the act.”

Their faces were so close now, Yuki could notice how long Ren’s eyelashes were, making the grey eyes even more beautiful. He also noticed green flecks painted the irises like a kaleidoscope. Yuki was so lost in them, it took him a moment to realize said eyes were back to tracing all the lines of his face. As they anchored on his lips, Yuki could swear he heard Ren take a very low gasp.

Before he could react to it, however, the boy pulled away, averting his gaze.

That snapped Yuki out of his trance. All these confusing feelings began frustrating him to no end. The idea that there was someone he could not appease, someone who seemed to have the ability to make him melt instead, made his blood boil with anger.

“You know what?” Yuki stepped forward, causing Ren to take a step back. “If you were so concerned about Niko and Kai, you’d listen to them rather than make assumptions about someone you don’t even know.”

“Excuse me?” Ren asked louder.

Yuki was very satisfied to see he’d finally gotten under Ren's skin. “You are assuming Kai doesn’t know his own friends, you’re assuming Niko won’t be loyal, and you're assuming I am an asshole, though you have no idea who I am. To me, it seems you don’t trust them either!”

Ren’s face contorted, clearly outraged. “I do trust them, and I have never thought you stood a chance with Niko!” 

“That's not how I see it.” Yuki’s smile hardened into a sarcastic smirk.

“Just like I said, they can be too naive for their own good and not see what’s going on right under their noses,” Ren grunted.

“You can’t know Kai very well if you think he is naive,” Yuki also spoke louder, his façade all but gone again.

“It’s because I know Kai so well that I know how naive he can be,” Ren stated, so sure of his words, Yuki clenched his fists with annoyance.

“Could it be that you know Kai so well because you observe him a little too much?” Yuki provoked.

Whatever reaction he was expecting from Ren, it was not an unimpressed chuckle. 

“Yes, you’re right. I observe Kai a lot because I’m so in love with him!” he said theatrically. “You think whatever you want of me. Just be aware I’m watching you.”

As Ren started to walk away, Yuki turned around and grabbed his fist. Ren came to a halt and instantly pulled his arm from Yuki’s grip, as though he’d been burnt. The grey eyes were so wide, Yuki could even see the thin green lines that painted them in some spots more clearly.

Forcing himself not to get lost in those damn amazing irises again, Yuki took another step closer to Ren with the angriest expression he could muster.

“You don’t trust me, and I don’t trust you. Maybe we’ll have to live with that. But you should be aware I will not let you mess up my friendship with the two of them,” Yuki said, loud and clear, with a very different tone than he was used to hearing from himself. “Unlike you, I trust their judgment. I just hope whatever they see in you as a friend is just that.” 

Yuki attempted to stand tall. He squinted while looking into Ren's eyes, trying to block out the hypnotic beauty they held. It didn't really work, though.

“Let's get back to our seats.” He let out one final huff as he shoved past Ren. “Might as well try to enjoy the game since we're here.”

 He didn’t want to return to his seat. In fact, if he had come with anyone else, Yuki would have just left then and there. But this was Kai’s peace of mind that he was trying to save. And Niko’s self-confidence in being able to help others. They all seemed to be failing miserably at making this weird situation work. The only one who could fix it was the one person who didn’t seem willing to even try. 

And the worst part was all the sensations Ren was bringing up in him. Like he had a pull over Yuki that he could not control as well as he’d like. He felt weird and needy and it just sucked.

It had been a while since Yuki had gone out and had a fling, sure. But he wasn’t feeling sexually frustrated or anything. It was just the sight of those grey eyes. The way they made him melt inside and lose his senses. And Ren, who wouldn’t even give him the time of day, freely looked him over, from head to toe, licking those fucking heart-shaped lips. 

Who fucking looks at someone they hate like that?!

“Yuki?” 

It was Niko’s puzzled voice that brought him back. Yuki hadn’t realized he had reached their seats. Kai watched him intently, while Yuki quietly returned to his chair. He decided to try and focus on the game. 

No matter what he did, though, he couldn't avoid the intense glares Ren still sent his way. And, on top of that, whenever Ren thought he wasn’t looking, Yuki would catch the boy staring with eyes that glowed with what Yuki thought was longing, and a leer that was far too sexy for Yuki’s liking. The whole thing was driving him insane, but in a way that was exciting and new.

Yuki whispered to himself the very same thing he’d said earlier, just low enough so no one else would hear. “Fuck, Kai. What the hell did you get me into?”