“Goodnight,” I smiled at Felix as he followed me to Bailey’s old room, wrapped in one of my sweaters and a pair of Kylie’s pajama shorts, “I hope you sleep well.”

“I haven’t felt safe sleeping in three years. Is it okay if I sleep in late tomorrow? You’re not going to be mad, right?”

“Not at all,” shaking my head, I gently tucked his hair behind his ear, a bit of water from his shower clinging to my fingers, “I sleep in late because I run my own business. I don’t think I’ll sleep much tonight, but it’s okay. You sleep. If you absolutely can’t, do you see this?” I pointed to a small button near my bedroom door, and Felix nodded, “I obviously can’t hear you if you knock. But this connects to a piece I keep under my pillow that vibrates. It’ll wake me up. It’s pretty aggressive, and Bailey told me he could hear it from his room since I also have one attached to my alarm, but it’s the only thing that works. If you hit that, I’ll get up.”

“Okay,” he whispered, and I pressed my forehead to his after bending down a little, “Asher?”

“Thank you. For feeling safe with me. I was mad at you because I thought I had made up our friendship in my mind.”

“Never. I was excited to count down the days until you showed up on Pitt Island. Until I would see you again. I missed you, Ash. I’ve drawn you so many times, so I would never forget what you looked like.”

“Me too,” I smiled, and Felix hugged me carefully around the waist, “Be gentle with your arms.”

“I am. I also don’t want to squeeze you too hard because of your spine.”

“Yeah, I’m at my limit for standing. I have to lie down now. Take my various medications to keep myself healthy.”

“How many?” his eyes grew wide, and I smiled.

“Three. One I take four times a day, which helps the signals from my nerves to my muscles. It’s short-lasting. I take a steroid once a day that stops my immune system from overreacting and stops communication from my nerves to my muscles because of the injury, and finally, an immunosuppressant to counteract the steroid. It’s uh… not safe for me to live alone, really. That’s why I stay here. I’m a fall risk. I wear a band on my wrist when I leave the house that lets medical personnel know if I’m in public and something happens. It matches the one for my receivers. They didn’t know I was deaf when I was first brought into the hospital after the accident, and thought that I had a brain bleed because I didn’t respond to stimuli. Turns out my back was broken. Right here,” I turned and pulled up the back of my shirt to show him the scars on my lower back that ran parallel to my spinal column, “Broke my L1, L3, L4, and L5 vertebrae in the accident. Should technically be paralyzed, but I got lucky. I also had a compressed disc in my neck. I was stabilized for four months while I was in a coma, then I wore a neck brace for another three months after I woke up. Physical therapy nearly killed me, but I got through it. I can walk. I can’t run. I can carry things up to thirty pounds. But my life isn’t the same as it was before. I am happy, though.”

“How do you lug big boxes of invites and stuff around then? That’s what you do, right?” Felix leaned against the door, and I smiled, playing gently with his hair.

“I have a wagon. Oh… oh fuck,” my eyes grew wide, “You told Joshua about me?”

“I did. He pried into my life. That’s why he hired you to make the invitations. Knew it would hurt you, keep us apart.”

“Okay. Okay, that should be fine. I use a P.O. box as my return address for the business. I don’t want people knowing where I live, and it’s not even in my name. It’s the LLC. But… he might be able to find me. We could… we could go to my great-uncle Ezekiel’s house in Taupaki or the olive orchard in Queenstown that my uncle Cyrus owns. Um… shoot, Auntie Kaia lives in Myanmar, so that won’t work.”

“It’s going to be okay,” Felix whispered, and I nodded, “We don’t need to run away. I already ran to you. I don’t think he knows I’d do that. But we have to figure this out before I’m reported missing. I only have one thing as far as my identity that he didn’t take.”

“What is it?”

“My birth certificate. I have it in Bailey’s room. I hid it in my shirt.”

“Good. Tomorrow morning, we'll sit with my parents and we will figure this out. I promise, Felix. I can’t lose you again.”

“Me either,” he whispered, studying my face, and I gently kissed his forehead, lingering for a moment, “Asher…”

“I know. I missed you, too, forget-me-not.”

“Think of something new, dork.”

“Fine. I missed you, ipo.”

“That means sweetheart in Maori, right?”

“It does.”

“I missed you more, kairoro,” he sniffled, kissing my cheek.

“Kairoro… I don’t remember that one.”

“I’ll tell you later. Go to sleep if you can.”

“You too.”

I watched Felix go into Bailey’s room and finally settled in my own after taking my medication, braiding my hair, and getting into a comfortable sweatshirt in case Felix needed anything in the middle of the night, as I normally slept naked. I sat there for a while, staring at the ceiling, my thoughts racing and continually circling back to what I knew was the answer to get Felix out of the situation he was in. I wanted nothing more than to save him, even if he didn’t want to be with me in any other capacity than as a friend. I would offer to marry him. I could fake being in love as I had genuine feelings for him and knew that if anyone questioned it, I could show that. It was easy for me.

My door alarm vibrated at around three in the morning, and I smiled before answering, “Come in.”

Felix slowly came into the room, closing the door behind him, and I grabbed my receivers, sliding them on before nodding, “I had a horrible dream. Can I talk it out with you?”

“Always. Come here,” I pulled my blankets back, and Felix hesitated for a moment before sitting next to me and allowing me to cover him, “It’s okay. We used to fall asleep together on that tiny couch in the garden shed.”

“Oh! I loved those moments. You always let me use your chest as a pillow. It was comforting.”

“You always covered my clothes in paint,” I snorted, sliding my arm around his waist, “What was your nightmare?”

“Just a memory. I was there when my Pa died. We were trying to get back to the shore,” Felix stared at my closet doors, and I gently rubbed his side with my thumb, “A sudden storm hit, and the water was choppy. I was down in the cabin, being thrown around, and I remember him tossing a life jacket down to me. I immediately put it on and climbed onto the deck. Pa smiled,” he laughed softly, laying his head on my chest, “and told me everything was going to be okay. That we would make it to the shore, but he wanted me to stay at his side. We hit a big swell but got through it. I could see the dock, but knew we were too close to the cliff that jutted out from the beach. I knew we were going to hit it, and I was crying. Pa cradled my face and gently kissed my forehead. Told me I was always the best part of his life. That he never regretted what brought me to his world. He loved the little girl he used to have and the boy who stood in front of him right then. He told me to be brave and strong. To always follow my heart. The last thing he said was, ‘I love you, Felix. I always will.’ Then we capsized. I was thrown into shallower water and managed to float myself to shore and call for rescue. They found his body trapped between rocks near the cliff. But I had the only life vest. He gave up his life for me, and I’ve almost thrown it away in fear. He would hate who I am right now.”

“I promise you that he loves you no matter what you do. He’s watching over you and knows that this is a horrible moment, but those don’t last forever. You’re safe. You’re here in my arms, and you’re safe, Felix. I will keep you safe if you let me.”

“Why?”

“Because I care about you. I never stopped. I thought I ruined our friendship somehow, and that’s why we stopped talking. I hated myself for that. I fucking missed you. The way you laugh, your smile, the sleepy way you blink when you’ve been focused on your art. I miss getting you those disgusting honey lattes and lettuce, avocado sandwiches. The way you stole every single sweater I would wear and left me freezing, but it was so cute to see them around your thighs that I let it go. I just…”

“Asher,” Felix moved to sit on his knees, and I nodded, “Do you have feelings for me?”

“I uh…”

“Please… tell me.”

“Y-yes. It started two weeks after we met, and I haven’t let them go. I tried. I tried so damn hard. I didn’t want to think of you anymore. I never thought I’d see you again.”

“I was always going to find you,” he whispered, resting his hands on my shoulders, “I… oh Asher, I never forgot you either. I… I have…”

“Do you really?” I whispered back and he nodded, grateful I understood that he was trying to reciprocate, “Two months is all it took to keep me wrapped around you for years. I hated it. Don’t… leave again, Felix. Please.”

“I won’t. I never will.”

“I can solve your problem with Joshua. I can make you free, get your things back. We can finally go to Pitt Island.”

“Asher don’t… don’t say that… you can’t just…”

“Marry me, Felix,” I swallowed slowly, “just legally for now. We go to the courthouse and get married. My parents can witness it. Then, we date. To us and my family, we’ll know the truth. That we’re married to keep you protected, to ensure that nothing changes. But we date each other, form a true relationship. If things are well, if we are truly meant to stay married, we can have an actual wedding in a few years. I’ll even properly propose to you. Just say yes. Please,” I cradled his face, my eyes growing damp, “don’t go back there. Let me do this for you. For us. So we don’t have to be apart. We can finally be together the way we should have years ago.”

“Should have?” he tilted his head, and I laughed softly.

“I was waiting for you to graduate. Then I was going to surprise you on Pitt Island and ask you to be my boyfriend. I was going to ask you to let me stay there and paint with you for the rest of our lives.”

“Wait, I was going to come here and ask you to be my partner when I graduated! I was… I was going to do the same thing.”

“I told you. We were meant to find each other, and I mean that. The same way my parents were. Marry me, Felix,” I rubbed his cheek, and Felix chewed his lip.

“It won’t ruin your life?”

“Nope.”

“But if we can’t make a relationship work, then we’ll have to get divorced.”

“So? Divorce isn’t the end of the world, and I know we would end it amicably. We have to practice actually being a couple, but we have always acted like one, even when we were just friends. We cuddled constantly, you’d make sure I looked good before I went anywhere, I cleaned up after you, and literally cleaned you all the time when you were covered in paint. We may have never called it that, but we were a couple in some sense.”

“Yeah. God, Asher I… I am so sorry we…”

“Shh,” I hummed gently and pulled him until our foreheads touched, “I’m not mad at you. I never really was. I just missed you.”

“I’ll marry you,” he whispered, making me cry softly, “because I can’t lose you again, and I can’t keep living this way. We can go tomorrow. Oh, I guess today. We need to make an appointment. Then we keep it to ourselves until Joshua inevitably hunts me down and we can surprise him with the license.”

“We need rings… oh!” I carefully got up and grabbed two I had in a box, “These were my parents. Rio gave them to me to keep as a memento,” Smiling, I held the diamond one out and cleared my throat, “Felix, will you marry me to keep you in my life?”

“Absolutely,” he laughed as I slid the ring onto his finger, “wait, we actually do need these for later, so I can’t wear it now. Will the other fit you?”

“I may be a lot shorter than Koa, but our hands are the same size. So yes. It will fit me.”

“Keep them safe. I’m tired, finally, so I’ll go to my room.”

“We’re getting married in a few hours. Shouldn’t we share a bed?” I set the rings down and carefully pushed Felix back onto the pillows, “It makes sense.”

“Asher,” he whispered, his eyes wide, and I lay next to him, resting my hand on Felix’s hip when he rolled to face me, “You're taking this so seriously.”

“Of course I am, my tiny adorable, almost husband. I do have feelings for you, after all. I wasn’t lying about that.”

“Hey?”

“Yeah,” I smiled, closing my eyes.

“Have you ever been with anyone?”

“Nope. Not in any sense. People are afraid of me for being trans or because I’m deaf. They don’t want to date me.”

“I do.”

“You are,” I snorted, opening one of my eyes, “Felix… date me. I know we’re getting married to keep you safe, but I want to be your partner. I don’t really know what I’m doing, but I’ll be good to you. I promise. We’ll be equals, I’ll make your meals, help you keep things clean, keep running my business to pay bills until you know what you want from life, and then we’ll split everything.”

“I’m going to stay the owner of the fishery. It’s basically a fish farm? I don’t know how to describe it. But I plan to give half of it to Aata and Mika. I’ll take over advertising. We sell fish to markets all over New Zealand and need to be seen better. I can do that without a degree.”

“I have a minor in marketing. I’ll help you.”

“Thank you, Kairoro,” he smiled gently, the sun starting to rise, “can you schedule an appointment? I don’t have a phone.”

“Sure,” I reached over him to get my phone, and Felix grabbed the front of my sweater and pulled me on top of him, making me grunt, “Fe!”

“Have you ever kissed someone?”

“No.”

“Wanted to?”

“Desperately,” I nodded, staring into his eyes.

“Who?” he smiled cheekily and I pinched his chin.

“You.”

“If we are to get married, we have to kiss to seal it, right? Shouldn’t we do that so it’s not awkward tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” I lowered my hand, placing it near his head, and leaned down, stopping just before I pressed my lips to his, “Tell me you want me.”

“I have never stopped wanting you, Asher.”

With a smile, I carefully kissed him, my heart shooting into my throat as a whimper escaped my lips. Felix giggled before letting out a soft moan when I ran my tongue across the seam of his lips, his arms tight around my neck. I relaxed on top of him, pulling Felix’s leg around my back, and he panted softly, letting me explore his mouth as best I could with my tongue.

“Holy crap,” I panted as I broke away, my forehead in the middle of his chest now, “I’m sorry. I lost control of myself.”

“That was amazing,” he laughed, rubbing my back softly, “I waited years for that. Jesus.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It was perfect. Not the perfect place, we’re just in your bed. But there were times in that stifling shed that I wanted to… well… it was…”

“I wanted to pin you to the wall to be fair,” I laughed, making Felix giggle, “and feel how soft your lips are. I uh… I have never felt like this before or since. I’m pansexual, but I have to feel connected to a person, or there’s nothing for me there. You are all I have ever wanted and ever will want.”

“Promise?”

“Mhm,” I kissed him softly before grabbing my phone, “I swear. Let’s sleep once this is set.”

“Deal.”