I’d lied. Over the years, I’d grown so good at doing it, not only to others, but myself as well. It had become my perfectly crafted defense mechanism for dealing with my father. He had drowned us with his constant need for perfection. His expectations for my mother and me were outrageous and completely out of reach. For years, we held onto the hope that the evidence we fought to get would eventually lead to our freedom from his abuse. 

With every passing year he became unyielding in striving to be the most powerful and well thought of judge. He had fooled everyone into believing he was the doting husband and father. Behind closed doors, he was just a beast who saw his “family” as his own personal punching bag. 

I’d lied. I pretended to be obedient daughter that ranked among the top of her class. The shy and timid girl who kept her nose close to a book. The girl who only shared her time with her cousin. The one who carefully helped her to secure evidence while on school grounds. 

Senior year of high school, it seemed as if it had all come to a head. There was more than enough evidence secured to make my father disappear. However, much to our despair, there seemed to be no proper channel to make people aware. No way for him to pay for his sins.

I went to school that first day back with a heavy heart. I had drifted in and out of my classes in a daze trying to come up with some solution until it was time for lunch. My cousin had rushed to my side and pulled me into our secret hiding place on the roof.

“My mother told me everything.” 

I nodded while tugging down on my sleeves, a habit I had unfortunately grown to have. I looked at her face perplexed as to why she wasn’t forlorn like I was at the news. 

“I found someone that can help us.” 

She handed me a small business card that was handwritten with “ACES” in all caps and a random chat id. 

“How will this possibly help us?”

I felt angry at the ridiculous notion that this could mean anything to us.

“I know what you’re thinking, but I mean it. The information is reputable, I checked it out for myself. This person is notorious for shedding light on things like this.”

I know I looked at her with quite the disgusted look on my face. She then gave me more information on the cases and every single one checked out. It made me hopeful for once that things could change.

“Message the account today and just see, okay?” 

She gave me a hug before running off in the other direction as the bell rang. I held onto the card like my life depended on it.

I had properly deceived my father into believing that I had already started my afterschool tutoring. He had finally come to believe that I was ever so obedient that I don’t think he’ll catch on before all this ends. 

I set myself up properly at a desk at a quiet computer café and made a new login for the messaging app. I was hesitant, but typed in the simple message that my cousin said was required to get a response.

THE SPRING WILL ALWAYS COME AGAIN.

I planned to be there for a few hours anyways, so I hoped they would respond before I had to go home. Leaving the tab open, I switched to my school account and started my new assignments. Not even five minutes after I sent the message, I received a reply. All the pencils spilled to the ground as I scrambled to read the reply. 

What can I help you with, Natasha?

Fear had undeniably crept into every fiber of my being as they addressed me by name. I hadn’t given them my name or put any personal information on the profile I had just made. Just as fast as it had crept in, it had vanished. Suddenly, I felt better. If they could respond in such a way, surely they could take down my father, right?

I typed furiously giving my response. They read it almost immediately, but the response didn’t come as fast as I had hoped. An hour had passed and I felt ridiculous for having had any expectations of this person to help me. They would probably help him before me anyways. 

As I sank deeper and deeper into despair, the messenger dinged. 

I’ll help you. Sorry, I got a little caught up with something else, oopsies! Can I access this file? :D

Just who does this fool think they are? A picture pulled up immediately after of a file I had saved of evidence on a second device. I was angry now. This person had put me on an emotional roller coaster, and for what?

For about a month our conversations on the messenger app were very similar to this first encounter. We argued over everything, from compensation to how unprofessional they were. I had had just about enough when I requested that we meet. Of course, I was met with an absolutely not. I pestered them for days, when out of the blue, I received a call on the app from the second phone I’d recently gotten. This left me flustered, so much so that I almost missed the call.

“H-hello?”

The line was silent. Enraged, I suddenly started yelling. 

“So, you’re just as loud as your messages. Geez, I was just doing what you asked.”

A girl’s voice barked back at me. She sounded young, younger than me. 

“How old are you?”

We argued back and forth as she evaded the question.

“Fine! A year younger than you, happy?”

I felt a rage engulfing me before I decided to let it go. 

After that we worked together over the phone and online. She had slowly become my friend despite not knowing her real name. I found that her playfulness had allowed me to finally act my age and recover the adolescence that I had missed out on. 

She seemed far more mature than I was, she most certainly was. I heeded her advice and was able to find my life proceeding more smoothly. It was under her guidance that I had approached Alistar. I needed a buffer to deter my father’s harmful behavior and it had worked like a charm. 

Though, it was cowardly to approach him in such a way after liking him for so long, I did. He reached out time and time again, but I had no plan to involve him further in my mess. I liked him too much to let that happen. 

And just like that, time passed quickly. Aces had collected all the evidence and more to slowly knock my father down. I had suddenly reached the end of my first year at university and I was notified that it was time.

She had arranged it perfectly. My mother and I would quietly leave and I would study abroad. He was so deep in his own personal turmoil that he wouldn’t even bat an eye at our disappearance. All I had to do was break up with Alistar. Which, I believed would be the hardest thing in the world, however much to my surprise, it wasn’t.

The feelings I had cooled by that point. Our lives had slowly diverged by my lies. My refusal to give into his wanting to help me. I had come to terms with that and felt solace in knowing that this would be an end, yes, but also a beginning. My mother and I could finally be at peace and live the way we had always wanted. At that moment, that was what mattered most to me. 

The one thing that had bothered me most was the disappearance of my one true friend. She was there, fighting my fight for me. I knew that all too well as I saw my father’s paranoia grow.  

I heard from her on the day of my departure at the airport. It was the shortest and most bittersweet phone call of my life.

“Your father’s demise will happen before you land. It’s been so beautifully crafted that no harm will befall to you or your family, I can guarantee that much. So, this is my goodbye to you. I hope you live a warm and comfortable life and come back one day as the happiest person I could ever meet. You and your mom both.”

“You say that as if you can’t be my friend anymore.”

Silence fell into the air.

“I’ll call one day, I promise.”

“I’d have to know who’s calling to answer.”

I heard her let out an annoyed sigh, before responding.

“Answer if the caller id says, Astrid, okay?”

She hung up.