The second to last night of banquets went just the same as the others. Amaryllis tried to remind herself that things were going well. That her preparations had been adequate. That the guests were enjoying themselves, and her father’s only critique had been her distracted state the night before. This was a successful demonstration of her abilities. She shouldn’t be bothered by a knight who wasn’t looking her way. Not bothered at all.

Amaryllis did her best to smile and greet the people her father paraded her before. The handsome knight who lingered at the periphery of her vision, no longer at the opposite end of the room but still well out of earshot, was not someone she needed to devote her attention to.

She reminded herself over and over, almost turning it into a prayer, but Sir Vincent was impossible to ignore no matter how much she tried to focus on other things.

Her efforts to be a successful hostess worked against her. The duke seemed pleased with how she had bounced back from the night before and was keen to have her with him, allowing her to stay for a full two hours of the banquet. That frustrating presence, too far to truly study but too close to ignore, grated at her. Worse than a pebble in the toe of her shoe.

She wasn’t quite sure what was causing her to be so irritated. Was it the embarrassment over just how long she had waited for him the night before? Or was it misdirected anger at herself? For having been excited to meet him. For feeling embarrassed. For the jealousy that rose up when she saw him talking to the other women attending the banquet. She didn’t know. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to either.

The few glances she managed to secretly direct his way revealed nothing. He was either turned away or his face was so impassive he might as well have been carved from stone. An infuriatingly handsome statue.

Her anger was at its peak when she finally left the banquet hall. In an attempt to pacify herself, Amaryllis chose to walk straight through to the nearest door, rather than skirt the wall like she usually did.

She had no reason to hide. Especially not from that man who had upset her. This was her home. That was why she chose this path. Not because it made her pass the knight she’d been trying to ignore for the past two hours.

Dazzling green eyes looked towards her. Her feet somehow kept moving although her heart skipped a few beats when that gaze met hers. He made no gesture of greeting or acknowledgment so she refused to give him one either. The fact that his expression never wavered from the bored look it had worn most of the night made her even more furious. She knew he’d seen her falter in that moment, and clearly that had meant nothing to him.

Amaryllis hurried her steps to hide her hurt and her hope. A small part of her wondered if he’d looked her way to try and signal that he could escape that night. That he could meet her. That he would meet her.

That hope carried her back outside before she had fully processed that was where she was going. Her meager optimism faded as the hours passed by and her shadow cloak grew cold.

Shame and embarrassment came and went. Leaving nothing but a hollow feeling behind to accompany her back to bed.

***

The final evening was set to be far grander than any of the rest. Amaryllis spent most of her morning in the kitchens, approving the spices and other expensive ingredients the chef would use to make sure the final meal was the most memorable.

He had been cleverly reusing the leftovers from each banquet to ensure minimal waste while also making every dish seem new and exciting. She couldn’t help but admire his efforts. Her own would have been meaningless without a man as skilled as him. She would need to remember some of his tricks when she had a castle of her own to manage.

Her only failing was with the amount of ale and wine. She had greatly underestimated just how much knights could drink. Thankfully, her father’s additional order to the merchants had solved that before it even became a problem.

Since he’d already advised, not admonished, her on that, she knew that she was relatively safe. There was little for him to find fault with. She simply needed to get through one more night, and then she would be able to return to her normal, quiet life.

After checking over the pantry’s ledger one final time she signed off on it and handed it over to the steward. He had been watching every calculation with a critical eye. Luckily simple mathematics had never been much trouble for her. She was confident that he wouldn’t find an error when he checked them before presenting it to her father.

The work in the kitchens had gone faster than she’d expected so she was able to gain a few hours of peace before she needed to return to her room. Her feet usually drifted towards the library at times like these, but she knew there was a small gathering happening there. A maid had come to the kitchen earlier to get refreshments for the guests who had chosen the library to socialize in.

The gardens were similarly busy. As this was the final day the knights were at the castle many were taking walks with the brief romances they’d sparked during their stay. No doubt the more secluded areas were seeing quite a bit of use too.

The idea of being near so many teary-eyed women and their knights made Amaryllis distinctly uncomfortable. Usually, she ignored them and simply chose the quickest path back to the annex. But she knew their mere presence would break the flimsy dam she’d erected to hold back her own emotions.

She knew it was entirely unbecoming of the daughter of a duke to cry out of jealousy because of those who could give a proper good bye to the men that had taken hold of their hearts. She hated to admit that her silly little conversations made her feel that way. Was she really someone who gave her heart away so easily?

The man had never once showered her with compliments, never whispered sweet words of love, or anything remotely similar. Holding her hand had merely been a means to keep her from falling on her face in the dark, saving them both from embarrassment. Nothing more.

To avoid any tiring encounters Amaryllis opted to go out of a side door near the stables. From there she could take one of the paths just inside the forest to loop around back to the annex. The walk was longer, but at least she could be alone.

Just outside the stables, she spotted a line of horses set up before the large building. Farriers were going down the line, trimming hooves and putting on new shoes. Behind them the stable hands were even busier. They rushed about doing various tasks. Some leading horses out to join the line, some tending to the gear, and other doing a hundred other things to get the horses ready to leave in the morning. Not to mention the usual work for her father’s horses.

Not far ahead of her she could see an apprentice pulling an empty cart towards the path she was headed to. Amaryllis sighed. Perhaps she had been a bit presumptuous to think she’d be alone. The back path that circled the garden branched off to the various workshops that were nestled out of sight of the main castle. Close enough for the craftsman to quickly deliver their wares in times like this, but not so close that the guests would notice them.

At least these men would not approach her or report back on her actions. Only a few noticed her and gave respectful nods as she walked by. They were far too busy with their tasks to do much more.

She trailed after the blacksmith apprentice and his wagon for a few minutes before he turned towards the smithy, disappearing from her sight. The faint sound of hammers tinging against metal and the deep bellow of the head blacksmith straining to be heard over the din reached her ears. Only just though.

Once the sound faded in the distance she let out a sigh of relief. The sparrows and robins that lived in the forest were back to chirping and tittering. Their quiet bickering and the rustle of the leaves in the wind were the only sounds that reached her. It was a comforting kind of quiet, better than the calls of the owl from the night before. She reached for her mana, intending to pull some of the shadows to her to ensure a truly private walk when a hand grabbed her arm.

Amaryllis jumped, wrenching her arm away instinctively as she whirled around. Her heart pounded as she fumbled to guess who would dare grab her like that. To her surprise Sir Vincent’s shocked face was what she saw. He dropped her arm as if it were a hot iron and stepped back, hands raised before him.

She clenched her fists at her sides, digging her nails into her palms to stop the smile that had reflexively pulled at her lips. Instead tears welled in the corner of her eyes from the self-inflicted pain, hiding her reaction.

The look of guilt on Vincent’s face made her anger at him waver, but only slightly. Her anger at herself for being happy to see him quickly triumphed over that feeling.

“Can I help you?”

Her voice caught in her throat. Too much to be the icy tone she had been aiming for.

“I,” he cleared his throat nervously before bowing, arms rigid at his sides while he bent sharply at the waist. “I apologize. Both for startling you and for not keeping to our agreement these last few nights. Please give me the chance to explain.”

Amaryllis hesitated. She felt no joy at him lowering himself before her. Even if he had ignored her, he had still saved her life all those years ago and seeing him like this left a bitter taste in her mouth.

But she didn’t know what she wanted and she could barely control her facial expressions. His bow gave her a brief reprieve to try and gain some semblance of control, although she didn’t want to leave him like that. It would save her pride, sure, but she knew she would regret it. It felt too cowardly to try to hide while making him stay in a position of deference. That wasn’t how she wanted things to be between them.

“Then explain,” she swallowed. “But facing me. I want to see the truth of your words.”

Her excuse felt weak, but was better than nothing.

“Thank you, my lady,” he immediately straightened.

Lines of worry still marked his face, but a small smile tugged at his lips. Not one of arrogance like he’d gotten away with something. It was softer than that. She wanted to believe it was relief, but was hesitant to make any judgments until she heard what he had to say.

“You were right, about the complaints,” he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. Then, as if he noticed he was fidgeting, he clasped his hands behind his back and stood at attention. “My commander ordered me to stay with him, to make connections, and reduce the bad rumors coming from those complaints. I couldn’t go against his orders. I’m sorry.”

His words sounded sincere, almost pleading. After a long moment Amaryllis gave him a nod. She wasn’t quite sure if she was accepting his apology, but she was accepting the excuse.

He had been glued to his commander’s side earlier. And from what she could recall some high-ranking nobles had been in the groups he’d talked to when she’d looked at him. There was truth to his words, although she was a bit reluctant to fully trust him again.

Or rather, she didn’t want to give in to the relief she felt at his words. Not this easily.

“I did get him to agree to allow me to retire early so as to be ready in the morning to depart,” he rushed to add. “May I meet you again tonight? Two hours after you leave instead of one?”

“Why did he agree if he wants you to make connections?”

She didn’t bother hiding the wariness in her tone.

“Because he’ll need extra hands rounding up all the drunkards who will be hungover and sluggish in the morning,” he looked a bit sheepish for talking about his comrades so frankly. “I swear to you I will be there.”

Amaryllis tried to think of reasons to reject him, but they were quickly silenced by reasons to accept. This was the last night. One more chance wouldn’t hurt her pride any more than it already was. Besides, she could pretend that she had stood him up if he didn’t show. How would he know?

“Two hours then,” Amaryllis turned to walk away and glanced over her shoulder at him. “But I won’t wait longer than that.”